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Old 28-03-2015, 00:22   #16
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

As far as cruisers are concerned there will be a few who make asses of themselves, but otherwise I doubt it will be an issue.

But there are some real concerns. A number of countries have very strict anti-homosexuality laws. Much like with carrying guns it is very much a country by country issue, but there are certainly places I would advise caution.

In Jamaica specifically I know it is a pretty serious felony to engage in homosexual acts. It is rarely enforced, but it has been used in the past to extort bribe money from Americans. It isn't an issue I have done any real research on, but it is an issue worth exploring.
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Old 28-03-2015, 00:23   #17
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by Reefmagnet View Post
Well, you know. Like it or lump it gay people are subject to discrimination in society no matter how politically correct everyone pretends to be. Aside from sexuality they are no different from us "straights" ranging all the way from horribly obnoxious and best avoided to fun to be around.

It just strikes me that the OP is simply interested in hearing about attitudes in general to gay people on the cruising scene. I don't think they're self promoting or recruiting batters for their team in any way.
I think most people would consider me politically incorrect, I strive very hard to be that guy who still says "handicapped" and "Christmas Party."

However, I recently met a couple of guys who are gay and they're a lot of fun, very caring and don't rub their lifestyle in anyone's face. They are a couple, but in public they don't do any PDA.

I go to movies with them (one loves musicals, his partner and I are trying to break him of that LOL ) and out to lunch or dinner when we have the time. They're opinionated (I like that) willing to listen and debate and have actually changed their opinions about certain subjects (like guns, for one example) based on our debates, which is surprising, that's usually a core issue most people won't budge on.

Overall, they're a lot more fun and honestly caring than any of my straight friends. When I was very sick (more than I realized) they came over and forced me to go to the hospital, where I got the medical attention I needed. A lot of my friends knew I was sick, but those 2 were the only ones who actually intervened, and I'll always be grateful. At this age, most of my friends are busy cataloging their illnesses or taking care of their grandchildren and don't seem to give 2 hoots about anything outside of their own family.
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Old 28-03-2015, 00:32   #18
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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reefmagnet
I think you'll find cruisers are little different from any other segment of society.

Quote:
Originally Posted by skipmac View Post
Hi Varlan and welcome to the forum.

Like reefmagnet, I find cruisers are pretty much a cross section of society. Since it tends to be an expensive lifestyle cruisers on average represent a higher level on the socio-economic ladder so perhaps a little more open minded than society in general but you will certainly encounter all kinds.

Umm...

I think something got lost in translation here...
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Old 28-03-2015, 02:24   #19
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by Varlan View Post
Hi, I've been reading the threads on this forum and I find it fascinating how people come together and share their stories. However I have noticed that not much is said about gay life while cruising. So, I want to start this topic for those who would like to share and those that would like to learn what it's like being gay and living in the vast open blue ocean.

Please note that this topic is not about ones sex escapades, but the experiences of gay cruisers, being sailers or power boater, while adventuring the coast, the islands or the world.

What have you experience while cruising?
Please share the good, the bad and the ugly.
Varlan,

Re the highlighted quotes in BLUE:

being gay and living in the vast open blue ocean. Why would you think they would be any different than anyone else? Out on the ocean? Maybe I'm taking the sentence or partial one much too literally.

Other than the well written comments on page 1 of this about hopefully much more inclusion and less tolerance, which is great.

Or, are you asking if gay folks ARE discriminated while cruising "just as much as they are at home?" From the answers, thankfully less. There are intolerant cruisers out there, too, but at least they go back to their own boats...and you have a much better chance of being able to ignore them. If they've been in an anchorage long enough, they've most likely already been "isolated" once they made their intolerance known to those around them. Or, by then nobody cares.

One thing many of us employ is the proverbial topics to NOT discuss: sex, religion and politics. This works well with most cruisers, since we're armed with great options to avoid and REPLACE those very taboo subjects: anchors and guns!

Good luck, and welcome.
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Old 28-03-2015, 04:58   #20
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Varlan.
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Old 28-03-2015, 08:00   #21
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by chris95040 View Post

But when (some group) is 'diabetic', or 'new to boating', or 'Canadian', I suspect you don't jump on the thread and make a vitriolic post like this.
You're right, I give way to only two types of person, those Handicapped and those with illness.
And those Handicapped, I expect an equal portion of time at the helm...
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Old 28-03-2015, 08:25   #22
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
Umm...

I think something got lost in translation here...
What's lost in translation? Unless I'm very confused I think both of us were saying that you see the same mix of humanity in the cruising world that you see on land. No?
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Old 28-03-2015, 09:42   #23
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Straight up from an old salt.. Why is it that When someone is "Gay" it seems they need some type of recognition in approval of who they are.. I dont give a damn what your sexual orientation is, or who or what you play with on your own time in your own place.
I've never met a straight person who would ask a question as the OP did..
And Its Bull to expect to be treated any different than any one else..

Well... Hooray to OP for starting this thread. Whoever the 'old salt' is that posted this doesn't have a clue. Being gay in many places in the world is still a crime and in many places punishable by years of imprisonment or even death. So while cruisers are a particularly progressive crowd (with obvious exceptions) the places we anchor may not be. And they are as much a concern as anywhere. I chartered recently in St Vincents and although I was the captain, the guy giving the chart briefing refused to talk to me and would only speak to my (apparently) straight crew members who are a straight married couple. I finally asked my friends to leave while the charter owner and I had a conversation. I guess it was my email address "gaysailorbill" that gave me away! LOL
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Old 28-03-2015, 09:46   #24
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by socaldmax View Post
I think most people would consider me politically incorrect, I strive very hard to be that guy who still says "handicapped" and "Christmas Party."

However, I recently met a couple of guys who are gay and they're a lot of fun, very caring and don't rub their lifestyle in anyone's face. They are a couple, but in public they don't do any PDA.

I go to movies with them (one loves musicals, his partner and I are trying to break him of that LOL ) and out to lunch or dinner when we have the time. They're opinionated (I like that) willing to listen and debate and have actually changed their opinions about certain subjects (like guns, for one example) based on our debates, which is surprising, that's usually a core issue most people won't budge on.

Overall, they're a lot more fun and honestly caring than any of my straight friends. When I was very sick (more than I realized) they came over and forced me to go to the hospital, where I got the medical attention I needed. A lot of my friends knew I was sick, but those 2 were the only ones who actually intervened, and I'll always be grateful. At this age, most of my friends are busy cataloging their illnesses or taking care of their grandchildren and don't seem to give 2 hoots about anything outside of their own family.
While we masculine gays who don't rub our lifestyle in anyone's face appreciate your kind words... REALLY?! How about saying nice things about people who share their lives with you. I'm sure your straight friends talk about their children and grandkids and make jokes on occasion about the sex they have with their wives... Or more likely don't have.
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Old 28-03-2015, 09:49   #25
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by chris95040 View Post
But when (some group) is 'diabetic', or 'new to boating', or 'Canadian', I suspect you don't jump on the thread and make a vitriolic post like this.
Well, you might get some curry for being Canadian ...
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Old 28-03-2015, 09:51   #26
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

Thanks OP for starting this thread. I too am an avid sailor and have asked many cruisers personally about gay life and they don't have much information although they are always helpful and thoughtful.

For my part, my friends are divided roughly 50-50... Gay and straight. and I have fun with just about everyone.

And... Wait for it... I just bought my first boat. Happiest day of my life (I know I know).

An Oyster 406 called Sephina of Beaumaris. And I am thrilled.

Oh and I'm starting a website called www.gaysailor.com
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Old 28-03-2015, 10:15   #27
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by gaysailorbill View Post
Well... Hooray to OP for starting this thread. Whoever the 'old salt' is that posted this doesn't have a clue. Being gay in many places in the world is still a crime and in many places punishable by years of imprisonment
If this is the case, I would think you would post a question on a travel site for Gays as to what the laws are in a particular country, That or you keep your mouth shut about your sexual preferance to yourself as most people do..
As I pointed out in the first posts I made, why is it you need approval in who you are.. Even your name, gaysailorbill, you very well could have used "SailorBill" but you have to stick your sexual preferance in our faces..

Most all people, be it cruisers or not, dont care who you are being Gay, we care for you as a person,
You'll find you'll be accepted far more as that person if you keep your sexual life to yourself and quit flaunting it..
There is No issue with anyone being Gay, Its the issue that gay people , Like yourself, have this need to feel thay have to share it with everyone else... as approval in who they are..
And as I said, I dont give a damn what you do on your own time..
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Old 28-03-2015, 10:21   #28
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by gaysailorbill View Post
Oh and I'm starting a website called www.gaysailor.com
Congratulations on your new boat.

Oh, you wouldn't be the first. Have you Googled the concept? I believe there are a few of them already.
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Old 28-03-2015, 10:22   #29
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by chris95040 View Post
wow that was fast.

Didn't notice the OP asking for 'recognition', 'approval', or to be 'treated any different than anyone else.'

And I've seen many threads here that are of the format 'I'm (some group they identify with), anyone else (that group)? Let's talk about stuff from (that group's) perspective.' Much like this one.

But when (some group) is 'diabetic', or 'new to boating', or 'Canadian', I suspect you don't jump on the thread and make a vitriolic post like this.
Well said!
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Old 28-03-2015, 10:31   #30
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Re: Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

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Originally Posted by JulieMac View Post
I might imagine that some ports of call in some countries could be intolerant. Many same sex couples know to be guarded and careful about public displays of affection in suspect surroundings.

I don't think the concern is as much about fellow cruisers, but rather the locals who have less experience and education on thse matters.

Like others have said, it's about how friendly, helpful and welcoming you are to your fellow sailers that matters here.
When you first posted, Julie's statement is exactly what I was wondering too. I know there is discrimination in all cultures, so I was curious if there are someplaces traveled that would not be a open to gay cruisers as others.

Joe
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