Gay life: cruising and aboard a ship

[gaysailorbill]

Originally Posted by FlightPlan

It's my boat, I am the Captain! We don't take polls or form committees to make the decisions on my boat. I always recommend guests to bring their own floatation device if they object to orders from the Captain. Go to you stateroom and party but I don't want my boat to be a spectacle. You must be new to boat ownership to not understand the chain of command. There has to be discipline at all times.

😹 LMAO

[Stumble]

Originally Posted by gaysailorbill

Well I guess NO ONE I have met cruising, straight, gay or trans would be welcome on FlightPlan's boat. And thank god. It sounds awfully boring.

Agreed. Any boat where I am not welcome to put my arm around my wife is one I won't be stepping on.

But this guy seems to just hate everyone, not just gays. So it probably isn't homophobia so much as being a general misanthrope. And frankly the whole 'we need more discipline' aboard routine gets old quick. It was fine when I was in the military, but on a recreational boat, not a chance.

[Chrisgo]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

I'm still waiting.

Waiting for you.

[Chrisgo]

Originally Posted by FlightPlan

Does everything have to be put in writing?

Reminds me of my attorney telling me I needed an employee manual. It never stopped getting amended for one situation or another.

Back at ya: what do you think PDA means?

Public Display of Affection?

[Aussiesuede]

Originally Posted by Chrisgo

Public Display of Affection?

I thought it was a Personal Digital Assistant?

[rwidman]

Originally Posted by Aussiesuede

I thought it was a Personal Digital Assistant?

That's all I could come up with.

[barnakiel]

Originally Posted by Chrisgo

(...)

So would you be okay with a gay couple on your boat sitting on the deck with their arms around each other? Or is that too far?

Ha ha ha!

Why don't you post a poll then? Make it multiple choice, you know: hold hands, kiss, look deeply into the eyes, wear tight-fit clothes (exclude wet suits). ;-)))))))))))

It would be 100% okay on our boat if any two persons that we invite aboard sit on the deck with their arms around each other. Any sex, color, dress and age.

What is not okay on our boat is when people with smelly feet insist on taking their shoes off. This, somehow, seems 100% unrelated to whether such people are hetero-, homo-, trans-, bi-, or a- sexual.

On the second thought, I must admit they are asexual.

;-)

b.

[s/v Beth]

This has been a fascinating thread, but I have wondered throughout: What does sexual preference have to do with sailing? What does it have to do with becoming a good sailor?
Now Greg did give some great information on how someone might be treated differently in different countries...
But on my boat, I don't even ask. It is not relevant to sailing and having a good time sailing. And if doing the deed (with whoever) is that big an issue for some, they would not appreciate the adventure of waves, whales and fog. Which is 90% of passage making in the PNW.
I can't tell you the sexual preferences of 90% of the crew I have had in the last three years, only what kind of sailors they have been. All I ask is they learn and practice seamanship. And in all the ships I've crewed, never have been asked if I am straight or other.
This is a question for land, and (as Greg pointed out) governments.

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by NoQuarter79

Why is having pride in where you came from, or your religion, considered throwing it in people's faces?

I understand your point, and I don't disagree. I believe the world would be a better place if we all kept our personal beliefs that could conflict with others' beliefs to ourselves, but this isn't a perfect world.
And even if it were, where would conversations start?

I especially agree with your last paragraph, but I think a part of that has to come from learning tolerance and accepting those who believe different from you (not YOU in particular, "you" as in everyone)

Having pride in itself is no problem, flying a flag is an overt act of "look at this." Flying a flag on your house, vehicle or boat is entirely your choice, but you will be judged on which you choose.

While many don't seem to have a problem with the Mexican flag on US soil, a Nazi flag or North Korean flag is not OK. Why arbitrarily draw the line there? It should be US flag, or fly it inside your house.

Conversations start when 2 people are sitting around and decide to talk to one another. I'm very tolerant of other cultures, actually curious about them, and I love learning new recipes and trying different food. I just feel that everyone should be able to choose how much of other people's cultures or lifestyles they wish to be immersed in, instead of having it forced down their throat by ridiculous laws.

[Varlan]

Originally Posted by s/v Beth

This has been a fascinating thread, but I have wondered throughout: What does sexual preference have to do with sailing? What does it have to do with becoming a good sailor?

Now Greg did give some great information on how someone might be treated differently in different countries...

But on my boat, I don't even ask. It is not relevant to sailing and having a good time sailing. And if doing the deed (with whoever) is that big an issue for some, they would not appreciate the adventure of waves, whales and fog. Which is 90% of passage making in the PNW.

I can't tell you the sexual preferences of 90% of the crew I have had in the last three years, only what kind of sailors they have been. All I ask is they learn and practice seamanship. And in all the ships I've crewed, never have been asked if I am straight or other.

This is a question for land, and (as Greg pointed out) governments.

To answer your question, it has absolutely nothing to do with sailing (as a skill), it has absolutely nothing to do with engines, generators etc. nor how to fix them, nor anything to do with cooking, and cleaning the boat or any other activity one partakes on a boat. That is why I have not asked those questions. It has to do with a particular, unquantifiable, aspect of the trip itself, namely life and how we deal with it, from a certain perspective.



I have realize that after reading the thread, even I need to go back to the OP to get my bearings.

It has nothing to do with becoming a better sailor, but it has something to do with becoming a better human being, not to say that your not.

[Cuttyhunk]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

I'm still waiting for your list of what issues you are concerned about as a boater, who is gay. I'm trying to understand the boating question (this is a boating forum), not argue about being gay (because I don't care). What boating issues have you faced because of being gay?



BTW - where is your boat located so we understand the boating question. In the area I live there may be a big difference between being at Provincetown MA and some some other location.

Where is YOUR boat located? "Northeast" is awfully vague...


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[Cuttyhunk]

I was talking with a woman and man the other day, who are making plans to go cruising. He has quite a few tattoos and piercings. He asked me how accepting people would be of him and the way he looks, when they do go. I said I expect it will be a lot like on land, when you do the Intercoastal. There are a lot of older people on the water who might not like your look, and a lot of wealthier people who might be a little afraid of you because of how you look. On the other hand, most cruisers have had to deal with some disapproval from family and/or friends about their choice of lifestyle, and are usually pretty easygoing. When you get to other countries, it might be best for her to check in, although officials can be rather snotty to women checking in, too.

If you had been in the conversation, I would have said basically the same thing. We all have to behave in a very conservative, subordinate manner when dealing with officials. When dealing with other cruisers, if they aren't friendly, we can up anchor and find others who are.

It seems to me that those of us on this forum who are not heterosexual white men understand your concerns. And a lot of the straight white guys do, too, for which I am glad. I like the rainbow flag idea...


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[FlightPlan]

Originally Posted by Chrisgo

Public Display of Affection?

Ok then

[atoll]

PS there is a button just for you,THREAD TOOLS,.....IGNORE THREAD if you don't like it

[Randyonr3]

[QUOTE=gaysailorbill;1788343]

Originally Posted by Randyonr3

What might perhaps be more accurate is that you're not discriminated against because you are straight.. Rather you are persecuted for your (presumably) religious beliefs from which your belief in polygamy likely came. That is quite a hot potato which I hesitate ttowade into since that last sentence was the sum total about which I know.

I would posit though that the reasons you aren't open with others about your true life and beliefs is that you fear judgement and persecution.. And (without stating a personal opinion one way or the other) wouldn't it be a glorious day when you and your wives (if married) felt safe and secure enough to present yourselves as you truly are.

Think of it.. Think of the feelings of security for yourself and your family.. And I'm not talking about what you do in the bedroom.. I couldn't care less.. But if you wanted to hold hands with one or both or all of your partners I would welcome you with open arms.. And if you had a flag that proclaimed your are a polygamist, I would applaud you and say, "that is a courageous man to live his life in the open." And if I were in a marina with you is give you a little cheer when I went by. And if someone gave you a hard time, I'd be the first to come to your aid, whether I liked your life or not.

Now that is a cruising community I could come to love.

your full of crap bill. I dont share my life with others because I am very secure in who I am and the relationship I have . I do not need to justify my actions...or my relationship.. and you dont see me going out of my way to prove something that I already have. I dont have a need to flaunt my beliefs and feel its an injustase to my relationship, rude, and very superficial to take what I feel so deeply about and shout it to the general public..

On another note, in all my cruising and ventures to other countries , Ive found one thing to be true, WHEN IN ROME, DO AS THE ROMENS DO.