Dream took a turn: if you were me

[CapnBazza]

If you don't do it, you'll regret it for the rest of your life. Get your boat, go sailing locally, invite your lady friend for short, really nice weather (by her definition ie no wind, plenty of champagne, nice cheese) day sails. Graduate to an overnight excursion, let her have the helm and don't yell at her when she gybes unexpectedly. Above all, don't frighten her with talk about heading off into the unknown tomorrow or next week. We headed off to cruise the Pacific, got to the Whitsundays, Admiral said she wasn't confident yet so we spent two years cruising the Whitsundays, learning sailing, navigating, victualling, repairing things, sorting out wine and food preferences. One day she said she was ready and we went. Best thing we ever did.

If the worst comes to the worst and it does not work out like that for you may I respectfully point out that there is only one You who needs to go sailing and there are about 3.5 billion women on Planet Earth. If only 1% of those are interested in joining you in achieving your life's ambition, that is still a lot of opportunities.

Finally, whilst solo is possible, there is nothing like sharing a beautiful sunset in an exquisite anchorage with a loving partner.

Fair winds and good luck.

[NorthCoastJoe]

Coming from an ex FF/Medic, just get out there and have fun. Get an affordable boat, do some sailing under easy conditions in a area that you know. I would keep the rentals if possible. Keep the old GF too, if she can handle the easy local sailing she might go for the big adventure. I never had a formal lesson, just started sailing and expanded my comfort zone as I learned more. You never know you might get run over by a bus tomorrow. Go have fun.

[lancelot9898]

I'm back to being single again after losing my sig other to illness after 11 years together. Prior to meeting her I lived aboard my sailboat and sailed mainly the Chesapeake Bay, but did take it as far south as Lake Worth and up north to Block Island. I always found women that enjoyed these sails, but it wasn't until I met Jeannie that she became more important. We sailed together on week long outings here on the Chesapeake until her health prevented much sailing. I still would sail by myself during the remaining 5 years of her life but always looked forward to returning to her. Only you know how much your girlfriend means to you, but someone that comes into your life that touches your soul is worth working on that relationship even if she doesn't sail with you all the time. I would give up this sailboat today to have her back even with all the health issues. As far as rental property, I found it difficult in finding good tenants and managing the place from a distance is a problem too. Good luck.

[coastalexplorer]

Hi to all of you.....just a reminder to everyone, Especially T Mark on this thread. To check your personal messages file for incoming communication. I just received a reply from a new member on a different subject who did not find the message until a month after it was sent.

[T.Mark]

I would again like to thank all those that replied to this thread. I've read it now three times and still pick up some knew pearls of wisdom each time. This forum truly has very knowledgeable sailors as members and their willingness to share advise an personal stories is amazing and very helpful.

I feel like I am navigating through stormy seas at the moment but all the advice here has definitely help as I figure out how to adjust my plans.


Thanks again...

[Mycroft]

On a more practical angle. Be prepared to have great difficulty finding insurance for the boat as a single-hander. Especially a newbie single-hander.

If you plan on paying cash for the boat and never check into a marina as anything but a transient, then you'll be ok.

Even as a couple with two ASA courses under our belt, we had a difficult time finding insurance. We had to agree to sail with a certified captain when away from the dock until he could sign off that we were competent sailors.

Definitely post notices on local marina bulletin boards, asking to crew. Hey, maybe you'll get lucky and crew for a solo woman who already has a boat and the two of you hit it off. Stranger things have happened.

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Mycroft

On a more practical angle. Be prepared to have great difficulty finding insurance for the boat as a single-hander. Especially a newbie single-hander.

If you plan on paying cash for the boat and never check into a marina as anything but a transient, then you'll be ok.

Even as a couple with two ASA courses under our belt, we had a difficult time finding insurance. We had to agree to sail with a certified captain when away from the dock until he could sign off that we were competent sailors.

Definitely post notices on local marina bulletin boards, asking to crew. Hey, maybe you'll get lucky and crew for a solo woman who already has a boat and the two of you hit it off. Stranger things have happened.

Interesting. I wonder if this is Alaska-specific. My experience as a new sailor and new boat owner was a little different. The insurance company never asked me if I was planning to solo sail or who was going to help me, though I am the only one on the title. They did ask me about my experience and I told them I had co-owned power boats with my ex, which seemed to satisfy them, but they also never asked whether I ever touched the helm on those boats - funny. The bigger problem I had with insurance was their freak out when my surveyor pinged some things that were fairly benign, but used words such as "topside paint is failing." It's paint (not gelcoat) and it wasn't actually "failing" but after 28 years, it's not buffing back as nicely as it did when it was new I did hear that it would have been a problem if I had told them that I would be living aboard, which I wasn't...at the time. It seems many of the companies, at least on the West Coast, don't want to insure liveaboards. I did check carefully that the insurance covers me in recreational racing; however you can, with enough of a premium $$$, get insured for a solo race across the Pacific. I just had a friend do this, but he's also got a lot of experience that probably lessened the risk (in their minds).

[ALAIN97133]

Originally Posted by T.Mark

:confused:Bare with me I have to give a little background history... 1. What boat ? .....
(now solo) was looking at 34-38 ft Budget 30 to 40k with 10 in reserve for equip repairs etc. would like sail ready or close to it. Sailing fla and Caribbean to start.
2. Best place to buy boat been thinking Fla or the Caribbean?
3. Any insight on going solo?
sailing and life style obviously I was planing it differently so any insight here my help. There was a learning curve before but this put a different spin on things.
So I guess this may be a strange questions to experience sailors this scenario but any insight may smooth out what is proving to be a rocky start.

Best place to find a sound sailboat in good shape: The Great Lakes ! In 1980, I purchased a 6 metric tons one toner, Chance 33 in Chicago that I sailed to the West Indies with my then wife. 34 years later, in June 2014, I purchased in Manistee (MI) another almost 6 metric tons Ericson 34 in 2014. Both in great shape for they had always sailed only 6 months/year & in FRESH WATER! I wouldn't come close to Florida used boats because of the sun & salt water. After taking my "new" sailboat from Michigan to NY/NY via the Erie canal with my 22 year old son, I sailed her single handed from NY/NY to Beaufort NC & then to St-Martin, French West Indies (11 days crossing, rather 4 rough days & 7 OK in December 2014) ! Cheers & good luck !

[Dirk Williams]

Hi Mark, like you I'm a retired LEO, in both Oregon and California. 25 years. Im also setting up to sail. Been a lake sailor, but realize the big blue is far less forgiving then my local lake.

My boat choice was made for me, when I was gifted a stunningly awesome Hallberg RASSY 33 " Mistral". She's tough as nails and her lines are smashing. Currently going thru all the boat systems, have the motor out rebuilding it. Perkins 4-108m.

Adding a monitor self steer, actually it's an AUTOHELM not the monitor. Upgrading the refrigerator, re wiring the boat. Redoing the topside wood, as it got run down. Ain't no thing, a little elbow work and she will shine nicely, new main sail, and fixing to order a set of storm sails.

I won't get into the dear Abbey stuff. Life is, what we make it. I also won't tell you to run out and buy a mistral 33, frankly I know zero about them, other then a couple forums and contact with owners, in EU.

Anyways I'm new here, and not a real live aboard guy. Like you I've been thru literally 5000 divorces, no two the same. I quit giving divorce advice back in the 80s.

My wife isn't interested in sailing the big blue, she's stoked about flying into these places as I go.

She's still teaching, and not wanting to miss a moment of our grandchildren's informative years. I get it, I support her needs. Frankly I'm going one way or another. Some things just are!.

Transitioning from door kicking, to couch potato sucks, you can't do Mach 7 daily for 25 years, and then just stop. Your street skills will help you in any crisis management issues you run into on the boat you choose.

You posess a skill that most people don't ever obtain, the ability to function while really bad things are happening in rapid succession, managing a boat in troubling times will come naturally to you.

You will grasp the chronological order in which specific details need to happen in a boat crisis, you will do it smoothly, and rationally.

God luck to you brother.


Dirk Williams

[billb596]

T.Mark,
I am in the same line of work with a bit more time until I can retire. As a brother in blue you and I both know what you have endured for years. The thing that keeps us going during the OT, the terrible crime scenes, the tragedy and stress is the dream we keep alive. You have reached that time and made it where you have dreamed for years. You have researched yourself to death on boats for sale, books, classes, Raymarine catalogs and everything else. The only thing keeping you from your dream is you!

Buy a boat, hell buy the boat listed in this thread and find a way. Once you buy the boat everything else will fall into place. You can learn sail, you can learn to navigate, you can find a number of people to join you on passages (come on think of all the cops you know who would love two weeks of sailing with you) and you will find the one to spend those sunsets with you.

You have endured, you have made it through being "on the job". Do what you have been talking about around the briefing room for years. Jump in with both feet and never look back. And if you ever need a sailing partner who is clueless about sailing and wants to learn you can hit me up in the future. Stay safe!

[Dirk Williams]

Had no idea this was going to turn into a popo festival. also had no idea so many cops and retired cops were sailers. Frankly I'm amused. You guys be safe, head on a swivel. You could not give me my old job back.

Didn't use to scare me, I think back and my butt puckers!

Good night.

Dirk

[Don C L]

Originally Posted by Dirk Williams

My boat choice was made for me, when I was gifted a stunningly awesome Hallberg RASSY 33 " Mistral". She's tough as nails and her lines are smashing. Currently going thru all the boat systems, have the motor out rebuilding it. Perkins 4-108m.


Dirk Williams

I think you won the lottery with that gift. Beautiful boats and a great design. I'd say you are VERY safe to recommend them to T. Mark!

[dcruz99801]

Lots of life coaching in other replies, I'll stick to some basics:
1. If you're really going to go solo, and with minimal experience, start small. 28-32' gives headroom, enclosed head and room for basic live-aboard. It's also less physical, meaning you can do more things by hand, and won't always beat you senseless for mistakes. LBNL, it costs less to walk away or just store.
2. Sloop rig is simpler to learn on, worry about cutter or ketch when you move up. Also, a full keel heavy boat = slow with great momentum.
3. Sea of Cortez is a good place to buy, weather and cruising is good, but a lot of it is remote so handyman skills are important. US is close by. Florida is best for shopping, OK cruising, liveaboard is easy in some places and there is more support and logistics while you 'get it together'. Plus, you're still in the US. A "newbie" will have a harder time assessing, buying and outfitting overseas.
4. Sea of Cortez, ICW* or Florida will all be good for solo daysailing during learning phase, and plenty of nearby island getaways to start cruising. Sorry to say it but after you sail tropical you won't want to settle for the short Great Lakes season, let alone what we settled for in Alaska, even though it can be a cram course in rough sailing.
* Crash course in navigating shoals, from what I hear. Again, smaller boat.

Whatever you choose, you'll find cruisers out there to help....and more well-intended advice than you can ever use.

S/V Nomad, 45' Horstman Tri,
based in La Paz last 5 years.

[El Pinguino]

Buy a boat 'locally' and you can spend years finding reasons for not heading out ....

One of the wonderful things about buying a boat in 'foreign parts' is that you are - on the instant - out there and doing it.

Don't ask how I know this.... bin there... done both...

[Don C L]

Originally Posted by El Pinguino

Buy a boat 'locally' and you can spend years finding reasons for not heading out ....

One of the wonderful things about buying a boat in 'foreign parts' is that you are - on the instant - out there and doing it.

Don't ask how I know this.... bin there... done both...

Yet another reason to go check that Cascade 36!