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Old 13-09-2016, 11:09   #31
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

While it would have been nice to learn it sooner, just be thankful you didn't marry and then find out. Much easier to walk away without legal ties. Good luck on your adventure.
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Old 13-09-2016, 11:12   #32
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

I had the same dream as you. I waffled for a dozen years, having every excuse in the book not to do this. Two years ago we drew a line in the sand and although it has not been what I envisioned when I was sitting on my couch reading sailing books, it is the adventure of a lifetime.

Many couples have found the way to stay together is a kind of "commuter" relationship. One sails (solo or with crew) to a destination and the other flies in to meet them and explore new areas of the world before going back to a land based life. For some it's an answer that perfectly fits both, for some, there's longing and lonely stuff that makes it not so good.

In the end, it's your life. Your life - no one elses and it's your decision what to do with it. There's lots of us out here, you won't be lonely unless that's what you want. You obviously have been putting your dreams on hold to live a life that is full of family, career, striving and it's still left you wanting to do this thing - this sailing. If you've followed the rules every single day and you still want it, you probably should do it because nothing else has satisfied the itch.

I hope to see you out there.
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Old 13-09-2016, 11:32   #33
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

Hello matte
A beautiful, inteligent woman and willing to leave everything to live aboard with you? Well, I think we have to choose two out of these three characteistics in real world kkkk. Being serious now, in conspiracy theory speaking, if one enter a relationship with wealth and properties achieved in the past (and this relation ends) is one situation, BUT if you sell everything and buy another, well, this new person in your Life will not have "rights" upon this new properties?
My opinion: buy a boat and go ride your weekends or whatever, but don't sell everything and leave in first place. Maybe very soon this awsome lady can be enchanted by boat stuff (or not), and Other experiences can come across.
Good luck
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Old 13-09-2016, 11:39   #34
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

Suggestion -- join a diving group in your area, go on different local trips with several groups to even inland dive sites, lots of water people there from different groups at times -- at least there you might meet a female who really really loves the water. Can't expect a woman who doesn't like the water to live on a boat, so it is a decent place to start.

Still can't believe there aren't a lot of women out there who wouldn't love to quit their jobs and pick up and go. Life behind a desk isn't living.
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Old 13-09-2016, 11:39   #35
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

Forget the guilt. She's not the first to pull a bait and switch. Cruising is not the best way to meet a replacement but it's possible. More to the point, don't spend more than half your available money on the purchase. You have about 50 to spend. For 25 you can find a decent boat in the 30-35' range. Remember maintenance surprises and must have add-ons always cost more then you expect. If you are light on experiencem consider getting something a lot smaller, say 28-30 and plan on upgrading in a few years. Will be easier to develop your skills on the smaller boat and still big enough for Florida coastal and the Bahamas.
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Old 13-09-2016, 11:56   #36
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

If money grew on trees, I'd say buy a small boat and expect to move up later when you know exactly what you want, cause you can't really know that yet.
But I assume based on your budget that money is a concern and I'll also bet that more often than not every time you buy and sell a boat, you lose money.
If I were you I would buy a boat sized for a couple, something closer to 40', cause it can still be single handed, and I'd bet you will run into someone that will come along with you. I believe that people that are accustomed to being part of a couple and desire being a couple will find someone else, in just about any circumstance.
I've even seen Homeless couples, haven't you?
Although to be perfectly honest I wanted a 32' Island Packet, I thought it just the right size for us, the Wife looked at it with the idea of the four of us being in it and thought it too small. She hadn't yet come to the realization that soon we would be two, not four.
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Old 13-09-2016, 12:39   #37
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

If this is truly your dream, follow it or you will begin to resent her.

Like someone else posted, look at hanging on to the rental properties. Find a property manager and pay them their 10% and keep the income flowing.

Good luck!
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Old 13-09-2016, 12:43   #38
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

T.Mark. Do not stop the dream. I had to choose between woman or boat life and took boat life. Lots of good comments here. Listen to them. The only reservation I have is once you find the boat, spend a couple years sailing her before you decide to take on the world. Get to know her quirks and good points. Get to know the community out there. Lots of support. You may find after sailing her for a couple years, that there are so many places to go around North America/Caribbean that you could live two lives without going farther. That has been my experience. Good luck.
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Old 13-09-2016, 13:04   #39
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

Quote:
Originally Posted by TTranscendence View Post
Go, and as soon as you can!
We are selling our beautiful Cascade 36, in the Virgin islands, as my partner got a stroke a few months ago.
We got 6 great winters cruising in the Caribbean and are thankful for every moment of it.
You might like to have a look at her on link below.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...V8BVIMYKvQ/pub

Best of luck

Michael
This is so sad, Michael. All the more reason to live well and never harbor any regrets. My best to you and your partner.
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Old 13-09-2016, 13:15   #40
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

Quote:
Originally Posted by TTranscendence View Post
Go, and as soon as you can!
We are selling our beautiful Cascade 36, in the Virgin islands, as my partner got a stroke a few months ago.
We got 6 great winters cruising in the Caribbean and are thankful for every moment of it.
You might like to have a look at her on link below.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...V8BVIMYKvQ/pub

Best of luck

Michael
First Michael...I'm sorry to hear about the health issues, but on the plus side you got more cruising time than most ever will, so I agree with you...

"We got 6 great winters cruising in the Caribbean and are thankful for every moment of it."


Now....see that's what I keep saying over and over and over but it's like no one wants to believe it! You do NOT have to be "rich and wealthy" to live the cruising dream! Are you kidding me...that great looking boat, where you want to be, for $30K!

This is why I sometimes lose a little patience for the folks in perpetual looking for the perfect boat mode. Now I'll say this...there is really a cost bottom Floor to a ready to go cruising Boat and $25-$30K seems about the floor. The intrinsic value of that boat and gear just keeps them from ever really being $10K. Sure you can find a boat for less...but as Cruise Ready as this one...ha ha ha...put down the Cruising World magazine, book you a flight and someone please buy this boat before I have a moment of weakness and buy it myself!




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Old 13-09-2016, 13:20   #41
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

Quote:
Originally Posted by SV THIRD DAY View Post
First Michael...I'm sorry to hear about the health issues, but on the plus side you go more cruising time than most ever will, so I agree with you...

"We got 6 great winters cruising in the Caribbean and are thankful for every moment of it."


See that's what I keep saying over and over and over but it's like no one wants to believe it! You do NOT have to be "rich and wealthy" to live the cruising dream! Are you kidding me...that great looking boat, where you want to be, for $30K!!!

This is why I sometimes lose a little patience for the folks in perpetual looking for the perfect boat mode. Now I'll say this...there is really a cost bottom Floor to a ready to go cruising Boat and $25-$30K seems about the floor. The intrinsic value of that boat and gear just keeps them from every really being $10K. Sure you can find a boat for less...but as Cruise Ready as this one...ha ha ha...put down the Cruising World magazine, book you a flight and someone please buy this boat before I have a moment of weakness and buy it myself!




I agree, that one might be worth the price of a ticket to go check it out!
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Old 13-09-2016, 14:36   #42
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

And what if you take the ICW, end up in the Caribbean and meet the love of your love there?

How very disappointed would you be?

Life, love, wind and happiness are universal and pretty evenly distributed.

Most 30-34 footers can be easily sailed by one as well as comfortably lived on/cruised by two ...

Cheers,
b.
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Old 13-09-2016, 14:52   #43
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

I think many of the other posters have said most of what is appropriate. One further thought to add, though. Pehaps expand your search location? Why limit yourself to the local area? Have you considered buying in Thailand or the Mediterranean for example? One of the hardest things for some people is leaving all the close ties behind. Jump on a 747 and the hard part is done and dusted. Places like Turkey are simply wonderful to commence cruising from. I doubt you'll be sailing solo for long.......
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Old 13-09-2016, 16:38   #44
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

I was going to provide my unexperienced opinion and say look beyond the United States, but others already hit it. The Cascade 36 looks like a great deal. The owner is selling it for a reason that matches with why you would want to buy it. It isn't because the boat is too much or their dreams changed. They just can't now and you can.

I'd keep the rental properties, sell or rent the house, have a good system or service to manage them, enjoy the additional income, and go. You earned it.

And thanks for all you did throughout your career.

Tankersteve
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Old 13-09-2016, 17:57   #45
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Re: Dream took a turn: if you were me

A perfect boat is like a perfect life partner. You can't pick them out of a line up. You have to spend time with them.

As posted already, for most women financial security is a necessity. In this world there may be a lot said 'bout sexual equality, but it doesn't really exist. If something happens to me and she is left high and dry...financialy...she is more likely to be taken advantage of. I've helped a few women out in that situation and not by them jumping into my frying pan. But by giving them the help, secure place and time to get on their feet and find a new path. That has opened my eyes to the other side of relationships.

I single hand now as my wife has passed on. After eleven years I haven't ran across any one who wants to live the life I choose. It'd be nice to find another partner, but I had a FANTASTIC relationship once, she will always be a part of me, So there is no need to be greedy. I still have my other relationship. the sea

PEACE LUV & HAPPINESS
Lance
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