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Old 18-04-2016, 19:13   #46
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

As someone said – keep your boat clean and yourself clean will help your chances. Maybe you should spend your nights ironing your shorts and t-shirts., go over your body and make it perfect. Get a wax. Keep your boat meticulously clean and neat. When you go out, dress like Sonny Crockett. Change your home port to a big city and if you believe in fairy tales, I'm sure you'll find the perfect man.
If that isn't the way you want to go, don't worry about it. Dock somewhere there's nightlife. Be comfortable and dress and do what you like. Just make sure the boat is paid for and get a vasectomy! Don't tell ANYBODY. Later, when the women come around, you don't have to worry. When they come up pregnant, you're off the hook and still have the boat. If you haven't learned this yet, a woman that wants to get pregnant will get pregnant. You're just happen to be the guy she wants to support her.
It is a myth there are less woman as you get older. The women are getting older, too. They start out young and pretty. It starts about 30 for them. The young and pretty goes away so they work with makeup. Then more makeup. In a few years they're troweling it on. One day they notice men aren't looking at them anymore. They get desperate. Someone has to support them. It doesn't matter who. They need him now, before any more stuff sags and they have two sets of knee caps. Believe me. I'm 67 and have seen it for 30 years. My experiences and experiences of men I know, living the dream and unwilling to lose it.
Women years and decades younger have wanted to move in. They've had umteen boyfriends, maybe several husbands. They got a ring on every finger for some man they screwed over or over worked into a early grave. They will say and do anything to get what they want.
Use the brain on top of your body, not the other one.
When you see an attractive woman, remember someone, somewhere is tired of her crap.
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Old 18-04-2016, 19:38   #47
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pirate Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lepke View Post

When you see an attractive man/woman, remember someone, somewhere is tired of his/her crap.
ROFLMTO....
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Old 18-04-2016, 19:42   #48
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

"When you see an attractive woman, remember someone, somewhere is tired of her crap."

Post of the decade!
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Old 18-04-2016, 19:53   #49
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

I'm getting ready to sell my boat after 12 years. I bought a house. Sad but true. I like the feeling of community, having a workshop and a garden. I'd been traveling as a photojournalist for about 15 years before I bought the boat. So it was 27 years out of the country. It is a bit easier to meet people now and have relationships on land. Although if I could meet a nice cruiser woman I'd probably keep the boat.
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Old 18-04-2016, 23:40   #50
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

I like to think about the original sentiment, but coming from 100% the other way around

I feel the boat has a fantastic second function ( other than being a sailing vessel )

It works like a giant land rake, weeding out everyone who isn't suitable

How good is that ?

No more wasting time "woo-ing" unsuitables who are just plain ...umm... unsuitable - instead, a warm current of desirable lovelies to interact with


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Old 18-04-2016, 23:52   #51
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

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If you grow up and admit to people you are *actually* single you might get somewhere. But if all you can do is lie and pull the victim status (my ob didn't start) then you will be in the Earths great list of losers who never even got a partner.
Um, Mark, he posted on the forum that he was single and his age and that he has a boat. Granted, it's a bit subtle, but the younger, single ladies on the forum should take the hint and reach out. Gumption goes a long way in life, people.
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Old 19-04-2016, 01:21   #52
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

Women are wired differently than men. I know...you had no idea...right? Some here have said women can be shallow and gold diggers. They obviously know little about women.
At least in my society, women are seeking a certain form of security. They have been taught (and unfairly) that they have to get a partner to take care of them. As pointed out by Jim...he had success when he dated women that sailed. These are women that have their own independence and do not need a man. I'm male and when people ask "where is my better half"? I tell them, "below my belt", meaning that my wife is an individual, not better, worst but equal. My wife is not interested in my sailing adventures but in me. Hense she will fly out to hang with me when it works. She is into horses and I'm not. So I can help her out with that when need be.
As pointed out...when you try hard to find a partner (as a man), you can give off "needy vibes". Women (most) are looking for confidence in a male.
I will also point out that to some women, a male living on a boat looks like a male living in a trailer. Any women that ever lived with me on a boat were the gypsy types. There for a good time...not a long time.
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Old 19-04-2016, 01:44   #53
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

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get a vasectomy!
This is the most sound and most useful advice on this whole thread, period. I wish I did it "back then".
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Old 19-04-2016, 04:51   #54
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

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I'm in my early 30's with passive income and gave every thing up to move on a 31 foot project boat. I still eventually want a companion, is this going to make it harder or easier?
I feel for you. You haven't worked it out yet. I know it's not easy, but here's a heads up from someone ahead in the line of life.

You want a girl, because you have hormones and instincts that ensure you reproduce. It masquerades as a desire for companionship. That's all there is to it, the male desires are very simple and secondary compared to those of the female. You are free now and don't have to act if you don't want the ultimate consequences:

At your age 90% of girls also are hormone driven and want basically one thing, usually it is disguised, often they don't know it, sometimes they think they want something else, sometimes they insist vehemently or angrily that they want something else, but they have no control. Nature is in control and the screaming ovaries are pulling all the strings at a subconscious level. They want a handsome boy to provide good stock who is well educated, hard working and ambitious, so will also be a good provider. She has an image of a suburban street with a nice house and her two toddlers playing happily. You on the other hand are a typical male 'looking for a companion', a lamb to the slaughter. If you meet her subconscious criterion you will indeed be duly slaughtered, taken up the aisle and locked into a life of slavery. You have no say in the matter, your thoughts will be confused by her beauty and charms and you will be hypnotized, maybe for a few years until you ultimately submit.

Then a number of years later for a very large number of victims, certainly over half, which therefore is more than likely to include you, she will realise she can have everything she wants without you. You will have provided the nice house, car and life and she has them now along with the kids, which is really the focus of her life and quite rightly so much more fulfilling than you are. She also realizes that due to an obligation to pay financial support she can have all this and be fine financially, so you will be disposed of. You have served your purpose and are not needed anymore. She may keep you for the kids sake, but in reality you are disposed of.

So, you might be lucky and enjoy the life of slavery. Many, or even most do and really it's got a lot going for it. You might be lucky and be one of the substantial minority to have a blissful life. I hope so.

Just don't be under the illusion that the game at your age is about something else. Your wanting a companion is fine, but your low income life on-board is totally incompatible with the desires of an early 30's female. You will find a suitable short term girl, but a long term keeper - the odds are single figure percentages, if that.

So, my advice is be part of the game and play it to win. Pick the girl, signing up in advance to her subconscious end-game and make sure the choice is yours, not just hers and that you see through the confusing hormone driven blindness to pick a really good one for you and be one of the lucky minority. The boat will become a much smaller part of your life in all probability, if it is there at all.
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Old 19-04-2016, 06:00   #55
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

There is some very ugly talk about women here. Perhaps it is a generational thing, but the women I know (20s to 40s) do not expect a man to take care of them, and some (including myself) have never wanted children.

Personally, I think people are different from one another. Some men want kids and a secure life very much (my brother for example). Some don't. Same goes for women.

The problem with sexist stereotyping is that it hurts everyone, men and women. We are all different. Pursue your passion after healing from your divorce, and perhaps someone will come along who is a good match for you. Perhaps not. Same as on land. Only this way you are living a happy and full life.

Good luck!
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Old 19-04-2016, 06:07   #56
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

How to find a relationship advise when living on a boat. Given by mostly single men and those who mostly are in a relationship that started when they lived on land.

Bound to be productive
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Old 19-04-2016, 06:11   #57
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

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There is some very ugly talk about women here. Perhaps it is a generational thing, but the women I know (20s to 40s) do not expect a man to take care of them, and some (including myself) have never wanted children.

Personally, I think people are different from one another. Some men want kids and a secure life very much (my brother for example). Some don't. Same goes for women.

The problem with sexist stereotyping is that it hurts everyone, men and women. We are all different. Pursue your passion after healing from your divorce, and perhaps someone will come along who is a good match for you. Perhaps not. Same as on land. Only this way you are living a happy and full life.

Good luck!
I say this very much with respect. Im reading a book at the moment " sex at dawn" that is very well researched and does suggest that the "idea of romantic love" or marrying for romantic love is quite a new idea....in fact there are a number of cultures that dont have words to describe it. It also suggests that hardwired into female genes is the "looking for a provider" whether this at concious level or not. Men are hardwired differently. It questions the whole idea of the way we do relationships or at least why.
A couple of the posts may not be politically correct but the writers are entitled to an opinion, that opinion isnt nessacarily "ugly", in fact there may be some substance to it whether we like it or not.

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Old 19-04-2016, 06:27   #58
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

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I say this very much with respect. Im reading a book at the moment " sex at dawn" that is very well researched and does suggest that the "idea of romantic love" or marrying for romantic love is quite a new idea....in fact there are a number of cultures that dont have words to describe it. It also suggests that hardwired into female genes is the "looking for a provider" whether this at concious level or not. Men are hardwired differently. It questions the whole idea of the way we do relationships or at least why.
A couple of the posts may not be politically correct but the writers are entitled to an opinion, that opinion isnt nessacarily "ugly", in fact there may be some substance to it whether we like it or not.

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I'm not sure how my post deprives other posters of voicing their views.

If you are aware of any actual science that supports those contentions, as distinct from social conditioning, I would love to take a look. I know a lot of women who are looking to travel and not have kids, and while they are mostly open to finding a partner their life plans don't revolve around doing so. Makes me pretty skeptical of the biological pre determinism assertion.
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Old 19-04-2016, 06:46   #59
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pirate Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

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Originally Posted by daletournier View Post
I say this very much with respect. Im reading a book at the moment " sex at dawn" that is very well researched and does suggest that the "idea of romantic love" or marrying for romantic love is quite a new idea....in fact there are a number of cultures that dont have words to describe it. It also suggests that hardwired into female genes is the "looking for a provider" whether this at concious level or not. Men are hardwired differently. It questions the whole idea of the way we do relationships or at least why.
A couple of the posts may not be politically correct but the writers are entitled to an opinion, that opinion isnt nessacarily "ugly", in fact there may be some substance to it whether we like it or not.

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I would not say they are looking for a 'Provider'.. more likely a 'Defender' to help protect her young and give stability..
Leo generally just lays around waiting for the women to get back with his MacEmu...
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Old 19-04-2016, 06:47   #60
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Re: Dating, Relationships livingaboard

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I'm not sure how my post deprives other posters of voicing their views.

If you are aware of any actual science that supports those contentions, as distinct from social conditioning, I would love to take a look. I know a lot of women who are looking to travel and not have kids, and while they are mostly open to finding a partner their life plans don't revolve around doing so. Makes me pretty skeptical of the biological pre determinism assertion.
One of the problems with discussing such a subject is it challenges what we believe and our ego. Im not sure whats true and what's not, but I do question the normal view as I don't see a great deal of success there. I do believe that men and women do stay together for all sorts of reasons, the least being love.
I realized when I used the word provider it was a little specific, security may of been a better broader word. Guys also (maybe) a hardwired , but seek different qualities. In regards to the science, its really not that important to me to make the effort, you can read the book I mentioned, its written by a couple, its their view based on their research.
I'm obvious feeling brave tonight as ive entered into a relationship thread and a semi political socialism thread at the same time..lol.

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