Dating, Relationships livingaboard

[hoppy]

Originally Posted by In Training

For sure Hoppy.

Live in denial if you wish


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[In Training]

I was agreeing with you, so didn't understand your response.


EXACTLY why men and women shouldn't mix for more than a few hours. perfect example of male/female communication.

[hoppy]

Originally Posted by In Training

I was agreeing with you, so didn't understand your response.


EXACTLY why men and women shouldn't mix for more than a few hours. perfect example of male/female communication.

LOL

Also why text conversations can get missleading

[wayne.b]

Originally Posted by Gadagirl

OK here you go......I'll show you two
https://katieandjessieonaboat.com/

===

I have crossed paths with Katie and Jessie a few times. They're quite real, nice young ladies, and very good looking as well.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by Charlie

Interesting Posts here. Just getting thru with a 19 year old marriage. We met sailing. My goal in life was to have kids and take them sailing around the world. Hers was to go cruising. She had lived on a boat before we married. I talked her into having kids. She wanted to have enough money so that we had a house to come back to. She didn't want to start over. By the time I had financially had put us in the right place to sail and own a house/hobby farm. She went and bought another dog. A big one. That means 10 years before we could go sailing by my definition -- but not hers. The compromise was a boat in Europe that we could sail in the summers till the kids went off to college. Other things got in the way till we weren't on the same page anymore.

The communication wasn't there. We said the same words but me thinks they had a different definition. Everyone of us has a different meaning to the word sailing. Mine was adventure, long passages, etc. Hers was overnight sails and shorter passages. Don't get me wrong she is a good woman but we hadn't agreed on defintions for our vocabulary. In the end kids and sailing as a family kept us together longer then we should have been. l think that what Ann and the others with long term term relationships have said is that the communication has to be on the same level with the same definition for the words. Then there is the respect. Jim obviously respects Ann and vice a versa.

Well the search is on and I am taking some of what was said here as good advice. Start with a sailor. Make sure your dictionaries are the same. Respect going both ways. Meet in a sailing community.

I think that for a relationship to last you have to be spiritually compatible as well. Wish me luck.

Why do you need a partner? Why not try the crew option for a while, or enjoy your space? You can get surprising good at it. Are there actually two people that want exactly the same world?

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[daletournier]

Originally Posted by cruisersfarm

Literally none. All unattractive women in that image search result.

I have very different standards than that. I've always been with much, much more attractive women than those and won't ge letting my boat get in the way of that.

Your a hard man. Some of those ladies could crew with me anytime.

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[Brob2]

Originally Posted by cruisersfarm

I have very different standards than that. I've always been with much, much more attractive women than those and won't ge letting my boat get in the way of that.

You're looking for an accessory, not a relationship.

[Charlie]

Originally Posted by daletournier

Why do you need a partner? Why not try the crew option for a while, or enjoy your space? You can get surprising good at it. Are there actually two people that want exactly the same world?

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Nope I don't think there are. But that is where communication and compromise come to play. At least that is my theory. I'll let you know how it works out.

[Caribbeachbum]

Here's a good book (with a crappy ending, though). You have lots in common with the author, so much I first wondered if you were him and just trolling the forum. Damato took a lot of grief for having similar issues (project boat, taste in women) as you.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by cruisersfarm

This is a huge factor. The world isn't what it used to be. You can meet up with a new one every day of the week...and so can they.

There is absolutely a huge shift away from long term relationships.

100% agree, the easy of meeting people via the internet amazes me, its a full on game changer. In my current anchorage there are two guys in their mid 30's.....I swear they have two or three girls each a week via tinder! They are only average looking guys. I'm 47 it makes me feel old and out of touch..lol!
The environment has changed alot.

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[Prflyer]

great post, I am also a recent live aboard once again, had done it in the past on a trawler and at least here in the Caribbean (San Juan, PR) it is not a problem for dating, I am in a marina so that probably helps instead of a mooring or anchor, I can see the challenges there.

Dan

[Island Time O25]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

You guys don't get my point.
I've been Married since 1982, so I admit I am way out of practice, but l don't think these things change.

If you were job hunting, would you not "clean up" meaning shave, wear clean, nice clothes etc?
Sure you would, but why? Because your "selling yourself" not literally of course but you are trying to present yourself in the best possible manner in the hopes of being hired, right?

Why would a Lady not deserve the same work / respect that a potential employer would?


OK, look at it from the other side.

You go to pick her up, her house is an absolute pig sty, it stinks, there are dirty dishes and dirty clothes thrown around and she is dressed like a slob.
Your dream girl, right?

I used to agree with that approach and kept ending up with women who were rarely compatible with me in the long run. Once I stopped "dressing up" for first dates I started finding women who were/are much closer to my outlook on things.

I personally would not want my relationship to be in the same vein as "work". A job one suffers because one needs an income, etc. Thus it makes sense to do things for a job which one would not do otherwise. I have no intention of being someone else for a relationship as for me it is a place to be myself not to play a role, as one plays a role at a job. Unless of course your job is something that you absolutely love and would be doing even when not getting paid. But that's a whole other story...

[Island Time O25]

Originally Posted by daletournier

100% agree, the easy of meeting people via the internet amazes me, its a full on game changer. In my current anchorage there are two guys in their mid 30's.....I swear they have two or three girls each a week via tinder! They are only average looking guys. I'm 47 it makes me feel old and out of touch..lol!
The environment has changed alot.

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Another game changer is the ease of int'l communications and travel. One is not stuck with the area one was born in to choose a mate but can open up the whole world if one chooses to. Of course the flip side of that is that there are now too many local cat ladies sitting alone in their apartments brooding over the "lack of quality men" for them to torment as they can't bring themselves to import a mail order groom the way their ex-s import their brides.

[valhalla360]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

I believe I read that actually more often it's the Women who cheat, so much for that stereotype.
I don't know if there is any truth to that or not.


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Kind of hard to cheat by yourself...unless you are suggesting they aren't cheating with guys, so mathematically, it's unlikely.

[valhalla360]

Originally Posted by hoppy

For those of you hanging out in hope for a young hottie to come cruising with you, perhaps you should google La Vagabond for inspiration. Riley bought a boat in Italy and met Elana in Greece and now they are in the pacific.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/RbnHh_K21FQ/hqdefault.jpg

I suspect part of Riley's success is that he was young enough to meet someone who was young enough that she is years off the "nest building" stage, plus she was already living an adventure as a backpacker far from home.

Most of us here are way to old to find someone at that stage of their life.

Unless you get very lucky to find one of the few single women of suitable age who are already ready to cast, then if you don't want to be single you need to plan to live on the dirt and hope she grows to like the cruising idea or look for a retiree who has the time for an adventure


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Classic case of the exception does not make the rule.

While it's great for this couple, repeat the process 100 times with random single guys and most will return home single and broke within 6-12months. Might have found some fun but unlikely to find a long term relationship.