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Old 21-08-2007, 20:28   #1
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Cost of refitting with multiple other issues

We are in the water and looking great...new shadetree, etc but....husband now lives aboard while I live on land with teens during the week as school has started. Has it's challenges as we knew it would. I want to be on the boat but don't feel I can. Hubby is only home to do laundry (yes, he does his own)

Ladies.. is it ok to not feel obligated to do it all.?? I clean the boat, work on the boat and love the boat on weekends but feel the need to keep a land base for the teens. My kids are boat people, mind you. One works at the local boat yard and the younger one helps run the water taxi but...we live in south florida and air conditioning and hot showers help the professional and student side of life. They hang with us on weekends.

Can you have it all? We want to leave in two years when the youngest is in college. Will never be finacally able except with working along the way.

Tomorrow is the first day of school so off to bed. Sigh. I want to be on the boat.
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Old 22-08-2007, 05:39   #2
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And you can't live on a 44' boat with the boys because....? If your dock has water and electricity, you could have all the air conditioning and hot showers that you need. And you wouldn't resent being away from the boat.
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Old 22-08-2007, 12:51   #3
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Quote:
Can you have it all?
As children get older they develop one serious problem. When they run away from home they can remember how to get back in. I'm thinking your problem is you really don't want it "all" but you want to get rid of just "some". Having it "all" requires an empty 2 car garage so think about it for a while first. Reduce ballast and sail a few inches higher in the water.
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Old 22-08-2007, 20:26   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by starfish62
I clean the boat, work on the boat and love the boat on weekends but feel the need to keep a land base for the teens.
Talk to the teens. They might think it is a smashing idea...

I fear that your efforts on the boat minus your ability to fully enjoy them coupled with husband "fully" enjoying them will build a lot of resentment.

Is hubby also working land based from the boat? He's able to make it work and maybe the rest of you can as well.
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Old 22-08-2007, 21:31   #5
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I dunno Ex- having teens around a boat that's a work in progress may not be the best of ideas.

Did you say "fully enjoying teens"?? Do they still have 'Donna Reed Show' reruns on Singapore TV? :-)
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Old 22-08-2007, 22:02   #6
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I dunno Ex- having teens around a boat that's a work in progress may not be the best of ideas.

Did you say "fully enjoying teens"?? Do they still have 'Donna Reed Show' reruns on Singapore TV? :-)
LOL - I meant enjoying the fruits of labor.

Maybe husband can take his turn ashore ;-)
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Old 23-08-2007, 05:02   #7
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One of the things I knew I had to do, if I wanted this whole idea of owning a sailboat to be successful with the wife, was to have air conditioner and a generator in the boat. We are in the tropics so a/c is essential some days.

Get an air conditioner in the boat and just let go, move to the boat with the kids.........if it doesnt work out ....then go back to the house...........at least you tried.
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Old 28-08-2007, 19:03   #8
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Ok. Haven't checked this board in a while so need to clear things up. Don't choose to live on board during the work week because:
we are on a mooring
have to haul water if showering for work
don't have solar yet
don't have refrigeration yet
only one dinghy
I would be exhausted.

Our boat found us a few years too early. Housing market sucks everywhere but is especially bad in South Florida. I can't sell the condo. I've tried. Can't afford the marina unless we unload the condo. Can't.

The boys and I would be ok with a slip at the marina and living aboard but, again, can't sell the condo and can't afford both. It is working ok. I liked it better when I was out for the summer and could be at the boat more but...

Hubby can live aboard because he can be more casual at work than I can. He comes home a few nights a week. Seems to have something to do with forcasts

We have a 3 year plan and if the housing market cooperates we will do fine. We know that we will be cruising in a few years without all the hinderances. If we hadn't been so set on a particular boat and if it hadn't landed in our backyard a bit too early...
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Old 28-08-2007, 19:18   #9
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Starfish,

Sounds like you have it all figured out as best as can be. So long as you don't lose touch with what matters the rest falls into place. Hang on and work the plan. Cruisers Forum is always here. We never close.
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Old 29-08-2007, 07:30   #10
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. We never close.
Or lack for opinions on what other people should be doing - LOL

Starfish - You sound like you are doing great!
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Old 29-08-2007, 08:50   #11
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Sounds like you're married to a selfish cad. He lives on the boat while you stay ashore and attend to real life. At least he does his own laundry. Oh please....

I hope he learns to share a bit more before you live on that boat full time.

Good luck.
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Old 29-08-2007, 12:30   #12
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starfish we bought our boat 3 yrs ago G.S. 37 can't get enough of it. but the mrs. will not even talk about letting the house go until the taxes kill us. we live in the northeast. and the taxes are pretty bad. we do live on the water, but we don't get anything for the taxes other than trash and (now water and sewer ((this is a new after trying to get it after 100 yrs.))
she wants a place to call home on land and i can understand that. she has already told me if i want to go to the islands, or further afield then i do it alone and she will fly in. don't feel pressured to get on the boat every one has their own internal decisions to make and work out. as for the kids if they have no problem and or like the boat more unless the drive is a problem take them during the week and spend more time with hubby on the boat to satify your needs. as to what rtbates said thats bull if you both agree. every one follows their own star. if he's like me i would hope he is getting to know all the little nuances of the boat.
good luck with your time schedule and aspirations
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Old 29-08-2007, 15:43   #13
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Cap'n E here (terrible cad that I am)--got the wireless internet working on the boat. Just want to say thanks to all for showing the true meaning of community. Linda has had to go back to work (school teacher) after a summer off, and methinks she was feeling a bit frustrated. Thanks for all of the kind words--especially PBlais & Ex (shoot--don't want to offend by not including). Okay, thank you all! Feeling lonely is a bad thing, and I know that she views this web as a trusted group of friends.

Lest anyone think that I've been kicking back on the mooring sipping Daiquiris and taking in the sun, I'll kindly remind that we purchased a 1983 GS 44 that sat behind a dock in Boca Raton for 4 years --and through hurricane Wilma--without anyone touching the poor girl. The broker brought a mechanic along on the sea trial, and we needed him. This past week I rebuilt both heads -- talk about FUN!!!

My take on "Can you have it all?" Yes! But it's a hell of a lot of work, a lot of compromise, and a lot of communication. The lifestyle itself is not for everyone. I've had friends say, "Well, if I could have a hot shower and air conditioning [and presumably ice cream], and get satellite TV, then I could do it." Well, of course you could. You'd be living in suburbia, only on the water. You'd never go anywhere because you'd be too busy maintaining all of the systems you think you need. I've watched about 4 hours of television in the last month, and two of those were a movie.

Fortunately my wife is not terribly high maintenance (God, I will pay for that one), and she digs living on the boat, swimming in the morning with a shower off of fresh, and the occasional aqua poo. That part's done. We have a 16-year old. That parts not.

By the way, does anyone know much about solenoids?
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Old 29-08-2007, 16:30   #14
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My husband is the most fantastic, talented, romantic, intelligent human I know.

I'm feeling better now that I am into my third week of work. We can do it all and could probably run a small county or two. The key is common goals, communication, lots of sleep and patience. Oh, and hard work.

I think (know} at least one post hurt his feelings. He has done 95% of the work on the boat himself. My teak work looks great but does not keep the boat afloat. I get most of the praise because the stuff I do is cosmetic and his friends are amazed I love the boat life and can actually sail.

Notice we changed the pic? Now she is afloat!
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Old 29-08-2007, 20:56   #15
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I have spent 3 years working long hours in a bad job inorder to go cruising for 3 years starting in Nov. I just had to figure out the plan (changed it a few times) and count the days - 2 years = 730, that is when I started counting, 41 days left on the job and about 7 after that before moving on to the boat.

Keep the condo up for sale.
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