Convincing wife to liveaboard?

[landlockedsquid]

Originally Posted by redhead

My big mistake was making an ultimatum. I had been waiting for a dozen years and the time was approaching when I could touch my 401K and I said (flippantly, I thought) "well I'm going with you or without you when I'm 59 and a half." Boy oh boy, that was a mistake. It hurt his feelings, made him powerless in the decision. If I could eat those words I would.

WOOPS!! Well, I already screwed up then. I basically told my wife the same thing.
Now what?
Problem is, Im serious.
Wife dream. Remodel the house into her dream home. Have me continue to work 12 hours a day till I die to pay for it.
My dream, Sail the world. Not work 12 hour days till I die.

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by landlockedsquid

WOOPS!! Well, I already screwed up then. I basically told my wife the same thing.
Now what?
Problem is, Im serious.
Wife dream. Remodel the house into her dream home. Have me continue to work 12 hours a day till I die to pay for it.
My dream, Sail the world. Not work 12 hour days till I die.

It takes courage to live your life.

Sent from my vivo Y35 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by vjm

That's interesting. I know several, including myself. Funny how stereotypes and drawing global conclusions from experience that is neccesarily limited isnt really useful when applied to real life.

OP knows his/her wife. We don't. She could be a hardcore cold weather camper or luxury loving. Those kinds of things will be important in pursuing any part of this dream. Convince? No. Expose your partner to something new and see if they like it? Sure. What form that takes will depend on way too many factors for anyone else to consider. Chartering is a great idea just to see if both of you actually enjoy it.

And that "Changing Course" book is one of the few sailing books I really did not like. Takes all kinds I suppose, just like everything else.

Regarding the minimalist lifestyle...

Sure, there will always be exceptions found, 'no problem with it. But I can also point to many hundreds of failed dream boats where the partner/wife wasn't onboard with the minimalist lifestyle idea.

In fact, I met another fellow in that very situation just two weeks ago. His wife is just fine with cruising for one or two weeks at a time while tuffin' it through without a daily hot shower, copious amounts of water, electricity, lighting, morning toast, blow dryer etc., but full time liveaboard under these conditions.... she's keeping the land based apartment.

The marinas are filled with boats and men with failed dreams. They just don't get it, and probably never will.

I agree that chartering would be a great idea.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by landlockedsquid

WOOPS!! Well, I already screwed up then. I basically told my wife the same thing.
Now what?
Problem is, Im serious.
Wife dream. Remodel the house into her dream home. Have me continue to work 12 hours a day till I die to pay for it.
My dream, Sail the world. Not work 12 hour days till I die.

https://youtu.be/JmHJcrOi59Q

[daletournier]

Time,health and money.....you don't always have all three, that Utube sort of smacks you right between the eyes.

Sent from my vivo Y35 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

Regarding the minimalist lifestyle...

Sure, there will always be exceptions found, 'no problem with it. But I can also point to many hundreds of failed dream boats where the partner/wife wasn't onboard with the minimalist lifestyle idea.

In fact, I met another fellow in that very situation just two weeks ago. His wife is just fine with cruising for one or two weeks at a time while tuffin' it through without a daily hot shower, copious amounts of water, electricity, lighting, morning toast, blow dryer etc., but full time liveaboard under these conditions.... she's keeping the land based apartment.

The marinas are filled with boats and men with failed dreams. They just don't get it, and probably never will.

I agree that chartering would be a great idea.

But, I can also point to many that didn't workout that were on very nice boats. Sure, minimalist makes it harder but minimalist is subjective. If you have left a 5 bedroom home then most boats are minimalist.

Sent from my vivo Y35 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by daletournier

But, I can also point to many that didn't workout that were on very nice boats. Sure, minimalist makes it harder but minimalist is subjective. If you have left a 5 bedroom home then most boats are minimalist.

Sent from my vivo Y35 using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

Most of the boats anchored next to us here off Capri are five to tens times larger than a five bedroom house. Most if these boats are hardly what most would consider minimalist.

[Kenomac]

I guess it all depends on where one lives as to what is minimalist.

Here, we are one of the few non-super or mega yachts. But we do share the same view.

[scgilligan]

Originally Posted by CharlesV

..with a white picket fence and flower garden too. I cant think of any boat than can do that....

Maybe you could fashion some sort of light wood pickets on your lifelines? The garden is a bit harder, but I would bet someone has done it..

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by scgilligan

................
............................ The garden is a bit harder, but I would bet someone has done it..

It can be the garden on board or the garden you cruise to.

[Kenomac]

I hate to break it to most of you and the OP, but selling the idea of living aboard is all about the amenities. For most, a 31ft sailboat with a pump head and cold shower won't cut it.

I seriously doubt any of my neighbors here today had much difficulty selling their significant others on the idea of cruising or living aboard. Especially the fellow with the 100ft water slide.

[scgilligan]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

..
I seriously doubt any of my neighbors here today had much difficulty selling their significant others on the idea of cruising or living aboard. Especially the fellow with the 100ft water slide.

Yeah, that would be an easy sell, but not the reality for 99.9% of us here. I understand about the amenities though..the 30 footer would be fine for me, but the wife would require quite a bit more to be "comfortable"..for her, sailing and "living" on a sailboat would be a "lovely getaway"...one that would remain lovely for every bit of 3 days.

[TrentePieds]

Kenomac is absolutely right in what he sez in #101, of course.

But what is comme il faut among the "superyacht" set is hardly relevant to what we do :-)

"Selling" the live-aboard lifestyle to anyone - woman OR man - obviously depends on having a buyer who is, to borrow a phrase, "ready, willing and able".

I think it is a function of the fundamental genetic programming of Homo sapiens that among those who are ready, willing and able, there will be a preponderance of XY over XX.

I'm fairly confident that had the biological effects of my "Y" not been attenuated by the effluxion of time, MyBeloved would not find me a satisfactory shipmate :-)!

TrentePieds

[sailorboy1]

I wonder how many "He Men" use the "I would be happy on a floating camp tent but my wife needs ........." to justify having a civilized boat life?

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

I wonder how many "He Men" use the "I would be happy on a floating camp tent but my wife needs ........." to justify having a civilized boat life?

I think it would take more than just a few potted plants for the OP's wife to overlook a hand pump head, cold shower, cold cereal for breakfast and bilge odor.

'Just a hunch.