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Old 27-06-2016, 06:54   #151
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Re: Convincing wife to liveaboard?

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Originally Posted by Grady Bunch View Post
My wife and I are moving to South Carolina, we rented the house in Washington and hitting the road next month to move. I will be employed at a work from home position and my wife will be looking for the next step in her career. It is a huge step for her to move across the country away from all her family and friends and I am working on being understanding of that, I could move anywhere and be fine. I really want to buy a sailboat and liveaboard for a few years, at least until we have kids. She is really apprehensive about the idea as it is a small living space.
Do you have a spouse that was hard to convince to livaboard? How did you do it?

I am discussing with her the proís and cons of it, I understand completely that it is not as comfortable as a house and there are some large drawbacks, any advice you can give me to play up the benefits, community, view, opportunity, and lifestyle please help!
I wrote an article called "How to Convince Your Partner to Sail Away." From a woman's point of view who WAS convinced, 15 years and 30,000 miles ago. And I've never looked back. Hope it helps. Good luck.
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Old 27-06-2016, 08:06   #152
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Re: Convincing wife to liveaboard?

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Originally Posted by Simply Sailing View Post
I wrote an article called "How to Convince Your Partner to Sail Away." From a woman's point of view who WAS convinced, 15 years and 30,000 miles ago. And I've never looked back. ...................................
I enjoyed your article, especially the description of negotiating chores. I think this open discussion of sharing tasks is critical for success whether your sailing away or remaining in a house.

I also noticed your "20/12" numbers. We're "46/44". You have much to look forward to!
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Old 27-06-2016, 10:03   #153
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Re: Convincing wife to liveaboard?

@ Simply #150:

BRAVO!

@ All:

In the late '20s and throughout the Great Depression Muriel Blanchett, upon being widowed, brought up her little children in a small power boat all along this wonderful coast. Muriel and three kids in a 25-footer.

She describes her life and her adventures in The Curve of Time. Here is a recap:

The Curve of Time

'Twas the very first book I gave MyBeloved, and when I mentioned recently that I hadn't seen it for ages, she said: "It's in my special stash"

I think all, woman and man alike, owes it to himself to read this book. You now see it on Amazon for a pittance.

TrentePieds
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Old 27-06-2016, 12:38   #154
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Re: Convincing wife to liveaboard?

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Apparently you've never met the right woman. I've lived on a 34-foot boat for 15 years, for 10 of those years we had 3 boys that we raised aboard. No, I don't "camp out" because our floating home is a HOME. I use a foot pump to ration water. I can shower in less than 2 gallons. I don't tote dirty laundry all over town, but I do wash it in a bucket with a plunger. And I've had a composting toilet for 6 years. For 5 years before that, we shat in a bucket. Ask anyone who knows us, you DON'T have to live the dream alone just because you live it simply.
Sorry, not interested, you are camping. The same amenities as my friend's hunting cabin up in Maine which is called "a camp."

If you are happy with the arrangement..... more power to ya! Just don't expect most others to get as excited about it or consider it to be the norm.
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Old 27-06-2016, 15:36   #155
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Re: Convincing wife to liveaboard?

It's surprising how well many adapt without some amenities and how others can't accept a life without as having quality.

We cruised Florida and the Bahamas for twenty years without refrigeration or a depth sounder (other than a lead line). We only used dead reckoning and an RDF.

I like our life now, as I did then. Some might say that we're "camping" now since we bath with sea water and rinse from a bucket of rain water to conserve our fresh water in the tank. We change modes with water use when we are at a marina as we are now, but still, many would call this "camping". ... we don't.
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Old 27-06-2016, 16:04   #156
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Re: Convincing wife to liveaboard?

I think that the last few posts are really pointing out how "home" is truly what you make of it.
Personally Im very happy with luxury lite. Maybe because I have camped so much? Or maybe because I grew up in the mountains and we heated our home with wood... there is effort involved but its not camping.

As for composting toilets....If I had my way this would be normal in every house in the us. We waste water by flushing it. There are many waste options, we meed to stop acting like the most precious resource on the planet is only as good as our fecal matter. (rant over) oh, no, I thought of something else...cushy 2 ply paper. We use virgin trees for that. Fell our forests so we can have a luxury butt wipe that we will forget 20 seconds later. Insane!

Im weird, I know, but im a little uncomfortable with things being too cushy. There is a subtle laziness of mind that come with not having to consider what you do or how your actions will reverberate outwards.

I wrote that in a seemingly judgmental tone. But Im not so harsh. These are my values for me, but I wont even think about it if one uses charmin and has a fresh water flush. I promise!
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Old 27-06-2016, 17:37   #157
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Re: Convincing wife to liveaboard?

What I didn't see articulated is what Mr GradyBunch likes about life aboard... presumably something he hasn't actually done himself... if I am correct.

For many males their boat is like their cave... they don't need much in creature comforts... or certainly less than landlubber style... and love to tinker... bikes, cars, boats and so... Women can be found around stables... but it's not a live style as in you live in a barn with horses!

Also do you envision living aboard in a marina? Why? To me that sounds like an awful compromise... none of the escape of sailing and being off the grid and all of being cramped into small quarters smelling the stin and hearing the noise of your neighbors 5 feet away. Nothing romantic about that.

Working a land job and living on a boat seems a chore... worse on a mooring or anchor where you have to "dress for work" and commute to a dock in a dink on a rainy day no less.

Unless she can satisfy here career itch from some job off the grid so you can ALSO sail and explore and have"fun" as Anne Cate mentions... I think it's not gonna happen. Why should she be deprived of a meaningful career? If she has an active creative mind she will probably become bored.

Maybe you can hook something up for X months at sea and Y months land based... but the job thing will be difficult. Most people seem to want to "escape" to sea and cruising... after they've paid their dues on land... job, kids and so forth... When you don't have something to escape from... perhaps the pull is not as strong???

Young folks do... travel.. back back, hitch around the world while young.. cheap and dirty and then find a spot and settle down after they sowed their wild oats. I suppose you could upscale this a bit on a boat... But it takes more than a back pack...

Most important is to be on the same page as your partner...

Good luck!
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