Contemplating Liveaboard

[MikeinLA]

Originally Posted by DevilDogNurse

The soon to be Ex is getting the house and primary custody of the boys, so I'm looking to move to Sunny FLA and buy a boat...

THE FOLLOWING POST IS ABSOLUTELY NONE OF MY BUSINESS....BUT...

Stay in Chicago near your boys. They need their Dad. Learn to sail on Lake Michigan and follow your dream when they turn 18. Someday you will thank me.

Mike

[TomandAnitas34]

Mike in LA has a good point. Without a solid male model, your boys will have some troubles. My son's mother was and is a good woman. She did the best job raising my son that she could. She went to live 2000 miles away from me, I couldn't stop her. My son will be working out the kinks for many more years. He now lives 300 yards from me, is 28, and just beginning to get it together. Your assumption that they will be fine is not necessarily true. They may be, but its not as likely as it would be if you were near by. If you think seeing them 2 weeks a year is enough, you are badly mistaken. Parenting them properly the first time beats re-parenting them when you're in your late fifties. You can be pleased that they will seek you out and they will. But not as strong young men with self respect and the desire to accomplish many things. They will seek you out to find a way to fill the empty place in their lives that you weren't there to fill, and it can never be completely repaired. They will have dependance needs because of their difficulties in finding self validation. They will have difficulties with their relationships with women, because they have never had a successful male/female relationship modeled for them. They will treat their girls like mothers, which works for an 18 year old, but which falls rapidly apart by the time the young women reach 24. I could go on and on, but you get the drift. I will be working on the problems that Mike in LA refers to, for many more years. Like Mike, this is none of my business either. But it is my 2 cents. I can spend it whenever....

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by TomandAnitas34

Mike in LA has a good point. Without a solid male model, your boys will have some troubles. My son's mother was and is a good woman. She did the best job raising my son that she could. She went to live 2000 miles away from me, I couldn't stop her. My son will be working out the kinks for many more years. He now lives 300 yards from me, is 28, and just beginning to get it together. Your assumption that they will be fine is not necessarily true. They may be, but its not as likely as it would be if you were near by. If you think seeing them 2 weeks a year is enough, you are badly mistaken. Parenting them properly the first time beats re-parenting them when you're in your late fifties. You can be pleased that they will seek you out and they will. But not as strong young men with self respect and the desire to accomplish many things. They will seek you out to find a way to fill the empty place in their lives that you weren't there to fill, and it can never be completely repaired. They will have dependance needs because of their difficulties in finding self validation. They will have difficulties with their relationships with women, because they have never had a successful male/female relationship modeled for them. They will treat their girls like mothers, which works for an 18 year old, but which falls rapidly apart by the time the young women reach 24. I could go on and on, but you get the drift. I will be working on the problems that Mike in LA refers to, for many more years. Like Mike, this is none of my business either. But it is my 2 cents. I can spend it whenever....

I don't think there are any absolutes. The above may be the outcome, or may not be (whether 2 Parents on the plot or 1).............Part of kid's (adults!) growing up is learning to cope with life's shortcomings (and dissapointments - there is no Santa etc ) and on that end of thing the parent with custody (in this case Mum) is in the hot seat.

FWIW I won't be seeking out my "missing" parent - I have met her once since I was around 3 (late 1960's), and that one time was over 30 years ago. Wouldn't recognise her if she walked down the street. Living in a small island she would litterally be 10 minutes away and easy to track down (telephone book would probably do it ). and no, am not waiting for her to call first When I was younger it was more of an issue, but as I got older I simply gained more understanding of the whole position (not just the events) and cared less - down to the point of not at all

Sh#t happens, move on

[S/V Blondie-Dog]

Originally Posted by DevilDogNurse

OK... I'm looking on-line right now... I'm currently in Chicagoland (not buying here!) and am looking to move temporarily to Orlando (I know it's land locked). My brother is there and he has a spare room I can crash on for 6mo-year.... I can reasonably save over $1,000 a month... Maybe closer to $2k... I am a RN and do make a nice living.

Like I said, I am in the middle of what is shaping up to be a Nasty Divorce... I know i'm going to be on the hook for $1400 or so a month in child support. So once that's paid, and I help my brother with the rent, i should be able to save a decent penny each month. I'm giving the STBX the house and we were almost debt free when she decided to leave me (A rich Doctor made her a better offer.... 12yrs down the damn drain)

I'm not taking anything more than what will fit in my subcompact 4dr car. I figure I'll pick up what I need at goodwill when I get there....

Living on a sailboat has always been a dream of mine... I know how to handle small boats quite well, and with a little patience and training, I figure I'll get the hang of a larger boat.

Expanding my search in size has opened my eyes a little... there seem to be some 35'+ boats well in my price range, that appear ready to move aboard....

I don't NEED that room, but I have three boys who I want to come visit me all the time.... I need a little more room for them....

Pardon me if I make some incorrect assumptions but it sounds to me like the last thing you need to do at this point in your life is to confine yourself to living aboard a boat just for the sake of living aboard.

And yes, I do speak from experience.

Perhaps you might want to consider taking on a temporary nursing assignment overseas somewhere. Nursing is a recession proof profession and hospitals are hurting for nurses. It would buy you a little time to figure out where you really go from here.

BTW... it seems as if every other relevant job posting here in Key West involves medical care if you're still intent on buying a boat and living near the water.

Good luck to ya.

[terra57]

Get a boat you can see yourself aboard for a few years. There is a very good chance it will be the only one you will ever own. By the time you have made it yours thru modifications, additions it will be hard for you to sell it to trade up.
Alternately, pick up a boat for nothing, spruce her up to sell and move up in what you can afford if that Cat is really what you want. You will see a lot of these AFTER you move aboard your boat. Needless to say they won't be sailing anywhere anytime soon and will take up all your free time. Lol.

[spostamento nobile]

If you went small, its cheaper to fix. You could live on the hook, saving a ton of money on rent. Then if you wanted a larger vessel, you would have a pretty good idea what and why you wanted it.
//2¢