Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 31-10-2011, 21:14   #46
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Marina del Rey, CA
Boat: Deja Vu - Catalina 36 MK I
Posts: 170
Re: Contemplating Liveaboard

Quote:
Originally Posted by DevilDogNurse View Post
The soon to be Ex is getting the house and primary custody of the boys, so I'm looking to move to Sunny FLA and buy a boat...
THE FOLLOWING POST IS ABSOLUTELY NONE OF MY BUSINESS....BUT...

Stay in Chicago near your boys. They need their Dad. Learn to sail on Lake Michigan and follow your dream when they turn 18. Someday you will thank me.

Mike
__________________

__________________
MikeinLA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 31-10-2011, 23:41   #47
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Maine
Boat: Irwin Citation 34
Posts: 137
Re: Contemplating Liveaboard

Mike in LA has a good point. Without a solid male model, your boys will have some troubles. My son's mother was and is a good woman. She did the best job raising my son that she could. She went to live 2000 miles away from me, I couldn't stop her. My son will be working out the kinks for many more years. He now lives 300 yards from me, is 28, and just beginning to get it together. Your assumption that they will be fine is not necessarily true. They may be, but its not as likely as it would be if you were near by. If you think seeing them 2 weeks a year is enough, you are badly mistaken. Parenting them properly the first time beats re-parenting them when you're in your late fifties. You can be pleased that they will seek you out and they will. But not as strong young men with self respect and the desire to accomplish many things. They will seek you out to find a way to fill the empty place in their lives that you weren't there to fill, and it can never be completely repaired. They will have dependance needs because of their difficulties in finding self validation. They will have difficulties with their relationships with women, because they have never had a successful male/female relationship modeled for them. They will treat their girls like mothers, which works for an 18 year old, but which falls rapidly apart by the time the young women reach 24. I could go on and on, but you get the drift. I will be working on the problems that Mike in LA refers to, for many more years. Like Mike, this is none of my business either. But it is my 2 cents. I can spend it whenever....
__________________

__________________
TomandAnitas34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2011, 04:06   #48
Armchair Bucketeer
 
David_Old_Jersey's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,013
Images: 4
Re: Contemplating Liveaboard

Quote:
Originally Posted by TomandAnitas34 View Post
Mike in LA has a good point. Without a solid male model, your boys will have some troubles. My son's mother was and is a good woman. She did the best job raising my son that she could. She went to live 2000 miles away from me, I couldn't stop her. My son will be working out the kinks for many more years. He now lives 300 yards from me, is 28, and just beginning to get it together. Your assumption that they will be fine is not necessarily true. They may be, but its not as likely as it would be if you were near by. If you think seeing them 2 weeks a year is enough, you are badly mistaken. Parenting them properly the first time beats re-parenting them when you're in your late fifties. You can be pleased that they will seek you out and they will. But not as strong young men with self respect and the desire to accomplish many things. They will seek you out to find a way to fill the empty place in their lives that you weren't there to fill, and it can never be completely repaired. They will have dependance needs because of their difficulties in finding self validation. They will have difficulties with their relationships with women, because they have never had a successful male/female relationship modeled for them. They will treat their girls like mothers, which works for an 18 year old, but which falls rapidly apart by the time the young women reach 24. I could go on and on, but you get the drift. I will be working on the problems that Mike in LA refers to, for many more years. Like Mike, this is none of my business either. But it is my 2 cents. I can spend it whenever....
I don't think there are any absolutes. The above may be the outcome, or may not be (whether 2 Parents on the plot or 1).............Part of kid's (adults!) growing up is learning to cope with life's shortcomings (and dissapointments - there is no Santa etc ) and on that end of thing the parent with custody (in this case Mum) is in the hot seat.

FWIW I won't be seeking out my "missing" parent - I have met her once since I was around 3 (late 1960's), and that one time was over 30 years ago. Wouldn't recognise her if she walked down the street. Living in a small island she would litterally be 10 minutes away and easy to track down (telephone book would probably do it ). and no, am not waiting for her to call first When I was younger it was more of an issue, but as I got older I simply gained more understanding of the whole position (not just the events) and cared less - down to the point of not at all

Sh#t happens, move on
__________________
David_Old_Jersey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2011, 08:20   #49
Registered User
 
S/V Blondie-Dog's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Marco Island
Boat: 28 ft Intrepid, hull #13
Posts: 102
Re: Contemplaing Liveaboard

Quote:
Originally Posted by DevilDogNurse View Post
OK... I'm looking on-line right now... I'm currently in Chicagoland (not buying here!) and am looking to move temporarily to Orlando (I know it's land locked). My brother is there and he has a spare room I can crash on for 6mo-year.... I can reasonably save over $1,000 a month... Maybe closer to $2k... I am a RN and do make a nice living.

Like I said, I am in the middle of what is shaping up to be a Nasty Divorce... I know i'm going to be on the hook for $1400 or so a month in child support. So once that's paid, and I help my brother with the rent, i should be able to save a decent penny each month. I'm giving the STBX the house and we were almost debt free when she decided to leave me (A rich Doctor made her a better offer.... 12yrs down the damn drain)

I'm not taking anything more than what will fit in my subcompact 4dr car. I figure I'll pick up what I need at goodwill when I get there....

Living on a sailboat has always been a dream of mine... I know how to handle small boats quite well, and with a little patience and training, I figure I'll get the hang of a larger boat.

Expanding my search in size has opened my eyes a little... there seem to be some 35'+ boats well in my price range, that appear ready to move aboard....

I don't NEED that room, but I have three boys who I want to come visit me all the time.... I need a little more room for them....
Pardon me if I make some incorrect assumptions but it sounds to me like the last thing you need to do at this point in your life is to confine yourself to living aboard a boat just for the sake of living aboard.

And yes, I do speak from experience.

Perhaps you might want to consider taking on a temporary nursing assignment overseas somewhere. Nursing is a recession proof profession and hospitals are hurting for nurses. It would buy you a little time to figure out where you really go from here.

BTW... it seems as if every other relevant job posting here in Key West involves medical care if you're still intent on buying a boat and living near the water.

Good luck to ya.
S/V Blondie-Dog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-11-2011, 15:46   #50
Registered User

Join Date: Mar 2007
Boat: Morgan 462
Posts: 76
Get a boat you can see yourself aboard for a few years. There is a very good chance it will be the only one you will ever own. By the time you have made it yours thru modifications, additions it will be hard for you to sell it to trade up.
Alternately, pick up a boat for nothing, spruce her up to sell and move up in what you can afford if that Cat is really what you want. You will see a lot of these AFTER you move aboard your boat. Needless to say they won't be sailing anywhere anytime soon and will take up all your free time. Lol.
__________________
terra57 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-11-2011, 19:07   #51
Registered User

Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 125
If you went small, its cheaper to fix. You could live on the hook, saving a ton of money on rent. Then if you wanted a larger vessel, you would have a pretty good idea what and why you wanted it.
//2
__________________

__________________
spostamento nobile is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
liveaboard

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Liveaboard Fees sailorwoman Liveaboard's Forum 8 09-12-2011 15:07
Hi - Cool Site ! Question: Best Picks for Liveaboard / Cruising Combo jackwantstosail Meets & Greets 12 20-10-2011 14:59
Catalina 30 Tall Rig or Newport 28s for Liveaboard ? ujk1976 Liveaboard's Forum 7 19-09-2011 08:14
Crusing , Passage Making and General Liveaboard Videos fyodor1564 General Sailing Forum 20 30-07-2011 16:33



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:02.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.