Biggest argument while cruising

[CruiserAD]

As they say in German: Firstly, things come different. Secondly, as you think.. ;-)

[Pelagic]

Speak in terms of beginnings and ends of seasons where comfort, safety and her enjoyment are your greatest priorities.

If she cannot accept that circumstances dictate schedules then you will forever be chasing a red herring.

[belizesailor]

Originally Posted by SFS

The most dangerous thing on a sailboat is a schedule.

+1. Classic cruiser mistake. Not only makes cruising less enjoyable but causes cruisers to make bad weather decisions because they "have to" be somewhere on a particular date...which of course they dont.

[belizesailor]

You might also dig a little deeper....why does she feel she needs this detailed plan?

[denverd0n]

Originally Posted by StuM

Give her what she wants!

This ^^^^^

Give her a plan. Difficult for you to be certain? Of course it is! Just take your best guess, make the plan, and realize that it most certainly is going to change (but probably shouldn't tell her that... at least, not right up front).

Some people like to feel secure that they know what is going to happen. Sounds like your wife is like that. The truth, of course, is that none of us know what is going to happen. Still, if she wants a plan then give her a plan.

[Cheechako]

You have a general plan then just let things happen. Develop that plan so she buys in. Don't try too hard to keep the plan perfect enroute or it will cause you stress and etc. It will be obvious when you stray and I doubt it will be an issue with her as there are often reasons. Weather, having too much fun where you are etc.

[rwidman]

Originally Posted by crawdaddy282

So my wife and I are planning to leave on a great loop cruise. BUT I think we may deviate from a one year cruise to a longer cruise. My wife wants a plan of when/where we wil be at times.
How do you plan a trip like this? Do I need to know I will be in the gulf by such and such date? I know we cannot go north by a certain date, but planning this far out seems to be tough for me to articulate.- because I kinda of want to maybe keep going. How do you do it and have you argued about destinations or dates? How far out should we plan? We will sell/rent the home and obviously have a live aboard boat...

My suggestion is to join the Great Loop Association and ask your questions there. Most of these folks have done the loop or are in the process of doing it. The rest, like you, are considering it.

Home - America's Great Loop Cruisers' Association

There are some seasonal restrictions. You can't do the northern part in the winter because it's too cold and the canals are frozen over and closed.

You can have a loose plan but it's tough to say you'll be in a certain place on a certain date. Weather and mechanical problems (your boat or bridges and locks) can set you back. Also, if you stop in a place and like it, you should be free to stay for a while.

We will sell/rent the home and obviously have a live aboard boat...

OK, this leaves me wondering. Do you have this live aboard boat already and have you and your wife been cruising for extended periods already or will this be your (and her) first experience being on a boat for an extended period?

If you aren't somewhat experienced cruisers already, I understand your wife's concerns. Taking off for a year or more on a boat without prior experience is a pretty big jump.

[donradcliffe]

The plan is for guests, who want to make cheaper non-refundable airline reservations. I did a spreadsheet which used 8 travel hours a day, 7 knots, took current into account, and assumed each lock was going to take 2 hours. It gave me a minimum time to go each leg between major cities. I then estimated arrival dates, but arranged them so that there was at least a week of SLACK TIME on each leg. That time was for anchoring in nice spots, enjoying the cities, waiting for weather, lock closures,breakdowns etc.

Tell the guests that their time slots are set, but the spots they join/leave the boat may change as their slot gets nearer. Get the guests to fly into a major city, then take the bus/taxi/rental car to the boat.

[S/V Alchemy]

Put her in charge of the calendar. The sea, the gear and life in general will be a better teacher than you could be as to the folly of scheduling a small boat on a big ocean.

[siamese]

Do what I do. Lie to her.

My wife likes to plan trips down to the minute. She's a CPA by trade and by nature. Not having a plan is unthinkable to her, and deviations from the plan are unacceptable.

If we're daysailing, and we motor out the Muskegon Lake channel, and encounter steep, scary waves on Lake Michigan, she'll say, "I don't like this...let's go back to Muskegon Lake and sail there". Conversely, if it's 8:00a.m., and we're entering Lake Michigan on the first leg of our planned trip north with the same conditions, I'm not sure she even sees the waves.

I can't change her nature, so what harm can there be in my agreeing with her plan to be in Charlevoix on the 14th, and then simply let the beauty of my true, non-plan unfold?

Given her way, she would have slips reserved up one side, and down the other side of Lake Michigan, with every expectation that we would sail into the desired harbor on the assigned date. Where reason fails, a little lie-fibbing saves the day.

[Sea Dreaming]

I don't think you should argue at all. Discuss the plan shw thinks is reasonable. Simply agree to the plan and say "thats great. Well hope nature agrees. We may have to alter the plan if nature has other ideas"

The point being you dont need to argue just to hear yourself validated. You know schedules wont work. She will need to experience the whys for herself. Fair enough. But do not break your back trying to meet the schedule. Just explain you need to go to plan b. Plan b is whatever you decide will keep you safe and happy.
Be honest and forth right. You dont need to argue or force your ideas. You are a long way from deciding the year after next so just let that simmer in the back of your mind. When a year is up assess where you are and have a new discussion about what to do next. You dont want to sail under schedule so dont try to force life planning that way.

[KidSheeleen]

When I have done the "Loop" from SW Florida, my only goal was to travel around 50 land miles or so a day. This of course depended on weather windows, as I have stayed in Great Lakes areas 3-4 days awaiting weather windows for a safe buddy or group crossing of lakes. Also you need to figure on stops in quint towns and famous homes, museums ect. I never traveled on weekends as that's when the speed nuts and barley poppers are out!
Read publications on Great Loop such as Capt John's books and go to looper forums. Make sure to have spouse read articles too! It's about the adventure, not the trip!

[Scaramanga F25]

Plan your seasons...

[hamburking]

Her demands sound like an excellent way to ruin an otherwise excellent trip. Has she even been sailing before? There are a million and one things that can slow you down, or stop you cold. Sailing is about living in the moment.

When I crossed the atlantic, the owner had just one question...when will we arrive. He calculated our speed and ETA a dozen times each day. Crammed on more sail, ran the engine often and at high rpm. I had told him 21 days to cross from Gran Canaria. For all his fuss and rush, he shaved 1 day off the trip, and arrived with emtpy fuel tanks and a stressed out crew.

[rwidman]

Originally Posted by donradcliffe

The plan is for guests, who want to make cheaper non-refundable airline reservations. I did a spreadsheet which used 8 travel hours a day, 7 knots, took current into account, and assumed each lock was going to take 2 hours. It gave me a minimum time to go each leg between major cities. I then estimated arrival dates, but arranged them so that there was at least a week of SLACK TIME on each leg. That time was for anchoring in nice spots, enjoying the cities, waiting for weather, lock closures,breakdowns etc.......

You are going to spend a few thousand dollars on this trip. If your potential guests expect you to be at a certain port on a certain day so they can save a couple hundred dollars on their airfare, they aren't worth having as guests. You might be able to give them an approximate date before the trip begins and then give them 30 days or so notice while cruising so they can book their tickets but you still can't control the weather or mechanical problems. I've read stories and books about the Great Loop. Sometime these people talked about being held up at locks for a day or more.

It's your cruise, not theirs. Plan accordingly.