Are you happy?

[Fearnow]

Planning to buy a Lagoon 42 and cruise the Caribbean. My wife is not totally on board and thinks we will get tired of it. I have been to the area around 10 times an love it.....But not on a boat. Any good-bad input would be appreciated.

[Cheechako]

Many do get tired of it. But then, those few years until you do tire of it will be some of the most rememberable of your life! No Deadlines, no rigid schedules or comittments and you're good to go! Return for a couple of months to visit kids etc if you want. You will likely find that even if you were tired of it... you're ready to go back!

[Fearnow]

Originally Posted by Cheechako

Many do get tired of it. But then, those few years until you do tire of it will be some of the most rememberable of your life! No Deadlines, no rigid schedules or comittments and you're good to go! Return for a couple of months to visit kids etc if you want. You will likely find that even if you were tired of it... you're ready to go back!

If I may ask, where are you and what have you been doing for the past few years. I thought about doing some humanitarian aide in Haiti or DR. to stay busy.Or maybe just kitesurf and scuba.

[Cheechako]

I'm in the PNW. No longer living aboard and have swallowed the anchor. Wife has medical issues etc. Wishing I was in the Carribean!

[SunDevil]

How much planning have you done about where to go in the Caribbean? Do you have things to do if the weather is bad? Are you ok with long-term foreign travel and going without some of the things you take for granted?

You also have to have purpose and passion to be happy I think. If you are meeting interesting people, if you have long term goals for the next few months, and if you can stay positive and laugh at the mistakes it will help.

And I do worry about the long-term happiness for any choice I make, and I have found the only way I am really happy is by doing different things and seeing different places. Let's say I do a job in Vegas for 5 days, it is great. But 25 days in Vegas is a different story. Same with camping out in a campground, it is fun for a few days, but the house seems really nice after a week.

I am interested in hearing the answer from other cruisers who have gone for multi-month long trips. How do you keep life interesting day after day? As a guy, I have no problem suffering and going without to explore and travel, but how to you prevent the arguments and fights over why someone wanted to live on a boat that constantly rocks, is cramped, and is wet?

How do people handle boredom is another issue. Plus, if there is any monetary issues, do you let the worry about having money in the future become a problem?

Still the dream of sailing in the Caribbean for the winter is one that I have. I might have overhyped it to myself, and it might not be as good as the perfection in my mind... You have to watch out for that too. But still, I would rather be there than here.

[onestepcsy37]

you might try chartering for a bit to see what her reaction is. could be a lot cheaper than having to sell your boat a few months after you bought it...

[Hudson Force]

Originally Posted by SunDevil

..............I am interested in hearing the answer from other cruisers who have gone for multi-month long trips. How do you keep life interesting day after day? As a guy, I have no problem suffering and going without to explore and travel, but how to you prevent the arguments and fights over why someone wanted to live on a boat that constantly rocks, is cramped, and is wet?..............

"suffering and going without"?....constantly rocking, cramped & wet? Sure, do the liveaboard cruising, but don't choose these! We're not currently in the Caribbean, but returning to our home port after a six month cruise up to Maine. I'm trying to think of things that we go without....cars, traffic urban sprawl, crowds,......quick access to consumer goods & emergency medical care. There's no sufferng with this. There may be spans of time with rocking, but most or our cruising time is spent at quiet peaceful anchorages and we're fully adapted to the times of rocking. The only times I am cramped is when I'm trying to repair or refit some piece of equipment in my engine room. Our headroom, berth lengths and seating areas have ample space for our presence. We don't have all that space that is present within a house, but 90% of the space within houses is not occupied by people and it's easy for many to give it up. Wet isn't an issue either. A sound vessel keeps the waterr out. Splash guards, dodgers, biminis, hatch seals all suffice. There can be problems in northerrn climes with condensation in the winter, but wet should not be a problem in the Caribbean. My wife and I are in our fifth decade of liveaboard cruising. We often spend more than a week without seeing other people and not being more than thirty feet distant, but we still retain individual activities and private space with life interesting day by day together and apart.

[Pelagic]

Pretty hard for strangers to convince your wife, if you can’t!

Yes I can say I am most happy when cruising, but rarely satisfied and always motivated to learn and interact from others.

Whatever motivates your wife is the key to having her commit to a cruising life full of compromises. If you can’t find a seaborne version, take the odd charter and accept the anchor

[CarinaPDX]

Chartering for a week or two is a good place to start, but it is only a little bit like cruising. Being on vacation is quite a bit different than living aboard full time.

Will you get tired of it? Probably at some point. Maybe in 2 years, or maybe in 20 years. It all depends. If you need modern luxuries, can't imagine getting on a mini-bus full of locals to go shopping, or depend on Costco for frozen meals then the life is not for you. For those who adapt and learn to enjoy the life it is a great experience. (And that is an understatement!) Many people stop cruising because they miss their families, or they feel they need to be close to their health care providers (Medicare doesn't generally help for expatriates). A few in the last years went back to work to rebuild their retirement funds after the financial train wreck we had. And yes, sometimes it gets old and it is just time to make a change. Of course moving to new places occasionally does keep things interesting, or if you're lucky you may find a place to make a home for a while or forever - I've known quite a few in that category. Everyone has their own story.

The question is really whether you should do it. The answer is that if you want to, and your wife is willing to give it a try, you absolutely should. The great majority of folks that I have known treasure their memories of their time cruising, however long that was, and value the friendships made highly. To miss this experience because of concern that it might not work out is a mistake. Still, don't burn your bridges - you will probably return some day - but very changed I will wager.

In my case, I am a single-hander. It took me 16 years before I hit the wall and turned for home. If I had not been alone I might still be out cruising. And after 3 years stateside I am looking forward to finishing the refit and going back out there - with the people that really matter to me.

Fair winds,

Greg

[bahamarich]

My wife and I took a year off in 1997 to travel from the great lakes to the Bahamas; we had the most wonderful time. We returned north to jobs waiting and our home on five acres and life there had lost all it's luster with no new adventure around every turn and just folks around us living the most boring lives. We left a year later and cruised the next five years from the Great Lakes as far south as Trinidad. It was the best time of our lives.

After five years we built a log cabin on a lake in the north woods on the southern boundary of the Canoe Area Wilderness and for a few years it was great with canoe trips into the wildernesses and our own lake and a grand dock; we had nine boats, sailboat, fishing boat, Boston Whaler, white water canoes, cruising canoe, pontoon boat and spares. Our families visited us often they all said it was the most perfect spot.

Maybe so but it was not cruising. We put our cabin up for sale. Sold all our boats but one canoe and were ready to head off. Times were hard to sell in 2007 and it took 4 1/2 years to sell, it was so hard to wait and plenty to time to think. At last it sold. We bought a Manta 42 catamaran and after the first year it is as wonderful as ever. We are never bored and mostly always happy; we are pretty happy folks anyway.

We lived on the hard in the most wonder spot in North America, in the most beautiful setting, no traffic or crime and it did not come close to life on a cruising boat. Once you let the canary out of their cage the little swing perch is no longer the same. We are all different some birds fly back into the cage on their own. Rich

[carstenb]

Your question is really difficult to answer. My wife and i never seem to be at a loss for what to do. There always seems to be something on the boat that needs fixing/improving. Books that need reading.

I guess, you and your wife need to ask yourselves some basic questions about your life

Do i need a 20 foot long closet filled with expensive suits/dresses etc etc?
Do i need to be able to buy ready made food all the time? Or does e idea of making great food from sratch appeal?
Can we entertain ourselves?
If we have to entertain each other, are we able to talk with each other? And do we enjoy each others company?

If you and your wife actually enjoy each other company and are able face challenges together as a team, then cruising might be something for you. If you can't, stay on shore.

[Fearnow]

[QUOTE=Pelagic;1061699]Pretty hard for strangers to convince your wife, if you can’t!

It can help, when those strangers have lived the life, and I have not. I also ask the question for myself. As we all know, chartering for a week, is not the same as long term.
My wife and I have spent long periods of time together, and know how to enjoy life, without a lot of "stuff".
I really appreciate all of your responses, and she will be reading them too.

Curious to know what Rich is doing know.

[bahamarich]

We are currently at the Telemar Bay Marina in Melbourne, Florida and we will be headed over to the Bahamas to cruise for the next nine months. We spent last winter in the Bahamas and hope to return to the Eastern Caribbean next year. Life is good. Rich

[chp]

You haven't said anything about whether or not you have a boat now. I'm sort of in the same situation as you. I do have a 26' trailer sailer which has galley, head and queen size berth. Its like camping in a boat when we go away for 2-3 days. I love just sitting back and listening to the wind and water noises. I get the feeling my wife gets bored with this although she won't admit to it. Our thoughts are to retire early and cruise the world. She loves the idea of different countries and no time schedule as we have travelled a lot by air.
We are going to do the bareboat thing for the first time next February on a 34' Beneteau. This will be the first test.
She has a list of desires for a cruiser which are not unreasonable. She does know the restrictions of living on a boat.
The good thing is she loves her solitude which cruising provides.
As others have mentioned, you should start with the bareboat rental. At least you will see if you can live together in a small space and deal with the issues of sailing a boat and working together.

[Bluewaters2812]

Originally Posted by Fearnow

Planning to buy a Lagoon 42 and cruise the Caribbean. My wife is not totally on board and thinks we will get tired of it. I have been to the area around 10 times an love it.....But not on a boat. Any good-bad input would be appreciated.

My wife and I are busy selling up everything and are going to buy a live-aboard to cruise the Caribbean and anywhere else we fancy. We got to a point where, although we are very happy with each other and enjoy each others company, we are not happy with the rat-race and the rut we are in on land.

My wife has never sailed but I have. She never grew up at the sea but I did. It was her that made the final decision to sell up ... not me trying to convince her. We have often thought of ways to change our lives and to be honest, I never thought for one minute that if I mentioned a live-aboard lifestyle, that she would want it, despite us both being adventurous people, who enjoy travel and meeting different people and experiencing different cultures.

We will not miss the rat-race and dead-end rut we are in. One day when we are old enough to sit down with grandchildren we will have such a variety of stories to tell them and memories to cherish. How else does one change one's environment and experiences of life in an instant? Moving (on land) takes months and a lot of money (think of costs associated with house selling and moving). Seeing different places and cultures is expensive ... unless you have your own boat to get there.

To get up and go to bed with the rising and setting of the sun is a privilege we do not have right now. Frankly, I would rather live in a closet on the ocean than a mansion on land.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained is the saying. Even if we end up only spending a year cruising (I hope its rather a case of cruising for the rest of our lives), we will look back and know that we have lived life to its fullest and experienced things and seen places in a way that we would never have been able to had we stayed on dry land.

God-willing, we will be there on that ocean next year, enjoying a cruising lifestyle where we bring back basic living to a reality and cast off all the horrible trappings of a landlubber's life (I can't wait to get television out of our lives with all the rubbish it brings into our homes). I could carry on but I hope you get the picture and hope that you and your wife will take this step boldly together so that one day you have an even bigger story to tell your kids and grand-kids.