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Old 18-10-2012, 07:08   #16
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Re: Are you happy?

"Originally Posted by SunDevil
..............I am interested in hearing the answer from other cruisers who have gone for multi-month long trips. How do you keep life interesting day after day? As a guy, I have no problem suffering and going without to explore and travel, but how to you prevent the arguments and fights over why someone wanted to live on a boat that constantly rocks, is cramped, and is wet?.............."

sounds like someone got the wrong boat....SUFFERING??? WET???? ye cruising in a 22 catalina?? aint wet, aint suffering. when this attitude is shown by the guy in the family, wtf is the lady to think??? get a positive attitude and fly--cruising life ROCKS. i would not change my life for anything in this world.

find a non wet boat--mine is dry--water--even breaking seas, didnt come into cockpit. didn t come over bow even in 60 kt winds....get a boat that cruises dry and there is no problem...is all choice.

as far as keeping things interesting every day ----there is enough to do to keep a soul busy for loong time. i have been out here a year and a half, now--i am not going back.
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Old 18-10-2012, 07:55   #17
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pirate Re: Are you happy?

If you and your wife enjoy new faces and new places on a regular basis you'll do just fine in the Caribbean...
But we have to face facts here when cruising with a partner...
some folk are just not comfortable if they are in an environment where they feel they have no control... and for many a cruising wife life on a boat is just that..
Tied up in a marina... no worries... just step ashore and visit the kids or head down the mall... but head out to sea for foreign ports where folk talk funny...
there's no one you know and nothing familiar to latch onto as a lifeline...
life can become a nightmare...
I'm in the main a solo sailor because of the above... personally I'm pretty gregarious and love to meet new folk and hang out with the locals... in fact most 'Brits' on the Algarve and Spain won't talk to me coz I went native..
I learned the language and drank where they drank, ate in their homes and generally had a ball.
Most ex-pats however tend to gather in cliques.. they don't trust those dodgy foreigners.
So if you do head for the Carib... start out where your own people have an established base... then branch out slowly...
Life can be so much more rewarding if you can get away from the 'Clique' and the propaganda that goes with it...
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Old 18-10-2012, 08:17   #18
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Re: Are you happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post
If you and your wife enjoy new faces and new places on a regular basis you'll do just fine in the Caribbean...
But we have to face facts here when cruising with a partner...
some folk are just not comfortable if they are in an environment where they feel they have no control... and for many a cruising wife life on a boat is just that..
Tied up in a marina... no worries... just step ashore and visit the kids or head down the mall... but head out to sea for foreign ports where folk talk funny...
there's no one you know and nothing familiar to latch onto as a lifeline...
life can become a nightmare...
I'm in the main a solo sailor because of the above... personally I'm pretty gregarious and love to meet new folk and hang out with the locals... in fact most 'Brits' on the Algarve and Spain won't talk to me coz I went native..
I learned the language and drank where they drank, ate in their homes and generally had a ball.
Most ex-pats however tend to gather in cliques.. they don't trust those dodgy foreigners.
So if you do head for the Carib... start out where your own people have an established base... then branch out slowly...
Life can be so much more rewarding if you can get away from the 'Clique' and the propaganda that goes with it...

...thankyou boatman for the wording...
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Old 18-10-2012, 08:28   #19
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Re: Are you happy?

My wife and I are in a simular situation to the OP. I would love to leave it all behind and sail full time to differnt area's of south america and the Carribean. She is not quite as keen on the idea. We already have a nice sailboat, and we use it alot, in the last year we have been on the boat about 5 months, with 2-3 week long trips, and a 2 month long trip to the Bahammas and are planning another month or 2 long trip back this winter. She loves to go and we have a great time, no argueing, or bordom, but she is also very happy having her feet on solid ground and sleeping in a real bed when we get home. We are lucky to have a nice home to come back to, so for us a kind of compromise has taken place. When we are back at our home port, I spent alot of my time working on the boat, improving it, and fixing anything that may have come up while we were out.
I still want to make the boat my home full time but doubt if she is ever going to have the same feelings. I do think she would be open to maybe a 6 month trip, say to the Caribbean, if I take the boat down there and then she joins me there later.
For her, I think it is the safty and security of a home on land that she has a hard time leaving. Other factors for her are, shoping, TV show's she likes, family and friends, her shoes and on and on.
So for us, we have reached a compromise that we can both be happy with. I get to spend a lot of time on the boat with her and she gets to have her need ground time. With that said, I have had to compormise the boat as well. If we were living fulltime on the boat it would be bigger than the 40ft Beneteau we now have, and if we were to sell our house we could aford to have the bigger boat.
Just saying there may be a way for both of you to get most of what you want without taking the big leap of faith that your wife is not comfortable making.
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Old 18-10-2012, 08:47   #20
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Re: Are you happy?

I am about to become a live aboard and this thread is getting me even more excited! Thank you for sharing all your experiences!
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Old 18-10-2012, 08:52   #21
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Re: Are you happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunDevil View Post
SNIP
Same with camping out in a campground, it is fun for a few days, but the house seems really nice after a week.

I am interested in hearing the answer from other cruisers who have gone for multi-month long trips. How do you keep life interesting day after day?
SNIP
Just my two cents but these issues are what I call lifestyle questions.

I have been on camping trips where I was very happy to get home (like the one in the Smokeys where it rained the whole time and for two night the flash from lighting strikes and noise from the thunder kept everyone awake). I have also been on camping trips where I could have stayed much longer (like spring at St. George Island with full moon, perfect weather, and lots of wild life to observe).

How do you keep life interesting day after day on land? As others have mentioned keeping a boat ship shape will probably fill some of your time. For some folks this can be an interesting task consisting of asking yourself questions about how can I improve the ventilation or rode on the anchor. For others it can be drudge work you wind up hating (OK some of it is drudge work).

There is no right or wrong here, and to some extent the only way to answer some of these questions is to do them. But there are some things that may help. While a condocat is quite comfortable as boats go there is no way things like hot showers and lots of counter space in the galley will be anywhere close to even the most modest home on land. So you could spend a week limiting your hot showers and cooking with the limited food stuffs you would be able to carry on a boat, lots of rice and beans and hopefully fresh fish, but not so much things like fresh veggies and fruit out of season.

Bottom line is living on a boat is suppose to be different than living on land, and the issue is how well you adapt to the differences.
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Old 18-10-2012, 09:48   #22
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Re: Are you happy?

You keep asking about boredom -- I don't think that's ever a problem when cruising. Maybe it could be on a transat in the tradewinds, but not cruising. On the contrary, you will be up to your ears in things to repair, clean, and improve -- it's a full time job if you don't have a professional crew.

My problem when cruising is always the opposite -- I don't have enough time to just relax, read a book, go off and see some of the interesting places we've sailed to. Too busy fixing, cleaning, maintaining, improving things, or planning the next day's passage, or feeding the crew, or whatever. It's a lot of work.

As to your wife -- you will never enjoy cruising if she's not 100% on board. Your job is to bring her over on board at least to give it a try. If you can't, forget about it.

Agree with others' suggestions to take her on a charter or two -- do it in ideal weather on preferably brand new boats, and don't let her touch a pot, pan, broom, or mop -- make it a luxury vacation for her.
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Old 18-10-2012, 10:00   #23
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Re: Are you happy?

One of the measures we used to go by was how many keys do you carry? For the six years my wife and I lived in the Caribbean we never got bored. When living on a boat,there is always something that needs doing. The keys represented an area of responsability and the only one we carried was to the ignition on the boat. Health issues forced a return to the states, otherwise we would still be out there.
Attitude is everything. If you maintain positive you will enjoy. If you are full of fear of the unknown, the sea is not the place for you.
All the best.
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Old 18-10-2012, 10:14   #24
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Re: Are you happy?

To be successful, you both have to be happy and enthusiastic with the decision. Part time cruising (6 months aboard) works for us.
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Old 18-10-2012, 11:02   #25
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Re: Are you happy?

Connie and I have been very lucky to be able to LIVE the cruiseing life for most of our adult life ! Lucky to have had work where ever we went ! She as a RN and I as a welder, machinest, diesel mechanic. We have went where we wished, stayed as long as we wished, and met so many fine folks, it's hard to remember all of them !! The One thing Im most sure of, is we have NEVER Been bored!! Tired,sick, and even a little broke LOL but never bored! But then she and I have always been best friends! and I think thats a big plus!! If ya get along well together at home, without the big need to have others always aroung to keep ya happy, than ya will be alright cruiseing!! At least we have been happy and most all the long time cruisers we have met were happy at sea with just the 2 of them as we are ! so we vote for some charters for you folks ! just to see if your dreams are for real !! That way if yall don't like as much as you might think you will, ya saved a bunch of money and time !! Just sayin try it ya might like it or even maybe not !!!
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Old 18-10-2012, 11:18   #26
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Re: Are you happy?

If someone on the boat is board then someone isn't doing there fair share. There is always something that needs to be done, a book that needs to be read, cloths that need washed, food that needs to be bought, deck that needs cleaned, places that need to be explored, blogs that need to be written. Also, everything on a boat takes twice as long to do. I wouldn't worry about being board, I would worry more about how you are going to get it all done.
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Old 18-10-2012, 13:32   #27
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Re: Are you happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post
If you and your wife enjoy new faces and new places on a regular basis you'll do just fine in the Caribbean...
But we have to face facts here when cruising with a partner...
some folk are just not comfortable if they are in an environment where they feel they have no control... and for many a cruising wife life on a boat is just that..
Tied up in a marina... no worries... just step ashore and visit the kids or head down the mall... but head out to sea for foreign ports where folk talk funny...
there's no one you know and nothing familiar to latch onto as a lifeline...
life can become a nightmare...
I'm in the main a solo sailor because of the above... personally I'm pretty gregarious and love to meet new folk and hang out with the locals... in fact most 'Brits' on the Algarve and Spain won't talk to me coz I went native..
I learned the language and drank where they drank, ate in their homes and generally had a ball.
Most ex-pats however tend to gather in cliques.. they don't trust those dodgy foreigners.
So if you do head for the Carib... start out where your own people have an established base... then branch out slowly...
Life can be so much more rewarding if you can get away from the 'Clique' and the propaganda that goes with it...
I couldn't agree with you more ... when my wife and I go on holiday the last thing we want to do is actively seek out our own culture/people. No problem if we do bump into someone but we go and venture out to experience something different. My wife is British and I am both South African and British, yet I have no desire to actively seek out Saffas or Brits but also have no problem if we do bump into any.
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Old 18-10-2012, 13:34   #28
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Re: Are you happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by zeehag View Post
...thankyou boatman for the wording...
I agree Zeehag, I couldn't think of anything worse than "hitting the Algarve" or "Benydorm! Aaaggghhh, save our souls!
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Old 18-10-2012, 13:40   #29
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Re: Are you happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocketman View Post
My wife and I are in a simular situation to the OP. I would love to leave it all behind and sail full time to differnt area's of south america and the Carribean. She is not quite as keen on the idea. We already have a nice sailboat, and we use it alot, in the last year we have been on the boat about 5 months, with 2-3 week long trips, and a 2 month long trip to the Bahammas and are planning another month or 2 long trip back this winter. She loves to go and we have a great time, no argueing, or bordom, but she is also very happy having her feet on solid ground and sleeping in a real bed when we get home. We are lucky to have a nice home to come back to, so for us a kind of compromise has taken place. When we are back at our home port, I spent alot of my time working on the boat, improving it, and fixing anything that may have come up while we were out.
I still want to make the boat my home full time but doubt if she is ever going to have the same feelings. I do think she would be open to maybe a 6 month trip, say to the Caribbean, if I take the boat down there and then she joins me there later.
For her, I think it is the safty and security of a home on land that she has a hard time leaving. Other factors for her are, shoping, TV show's she likes, family and friends, her shoes and on and on.
So for us, we have reached a compromise that we can both be happy with. I get to spend a lot of time on the boat with her and she gets to have her need ground time. With that said, I have had to compormise the boat as well. If we were living fulltime on the boat it would be bigger than the 40ft Beneteau we now have, and if we were to sell our house we could aford to have the bigger boat.
Just saying there may be a way for both of you to get most of what you want without taking the big leap of faith that your wife is not comfortable making.
I take my hat off to both you and your wife. Sounds like one of the best compromises. I hope I don't have to experience a compromise eventually but if I have to, I hope it is similar to yours. I would happily spend the rest of my days never seeing a shopping centre/mall again, never "shopping" other than for necessities such as groceries/boat spares/electronics, never having to drive in traffic (and I enjoy driving), never having to watch another bit of television trash (the list is endless) ... I will however, miss my beloved Springboks and their rugby but that is a worthwhile compromise for me.
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Old 18-10-2012, 13:41   #30
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Re: Are you happy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KelleyG View Post
I am about to become a live aboard and this thread is getting me even more excited! Thank you for sharing all your experiences!
Go for it ... I hope we meet to share the new experience. We can't wait to shed this life we have and take on all the challenges and excitement of a life aboard our boat.
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