Another post about relationships...

[jwing]

My recommendation is that you need to learn more about yourself. Sell your boat and rent an apartment. I'll bet $5 that you'll come up with some other reason to not trust other people's interest in you, especially if they are men.

My plan for you can only do you good. You might find out something about yourself that needs some adjustment. OTH, you might find out that some people really are attracted to you just for your boat, but since you won't have a boat anymore, you won't have to deal with those people anymore.

I've known many women who were attracted to me for my lifestyle/outlook. Most couldn't hang with me once they came to understand that great life takes great effort and some risk. They moved on down their paths and I moved down mine. I had fabulous times with all of them. My life is richer for having known them. I agree with "hamburking" in #11 and others who have similar sentiments: "stop thinking so much and have some fun while you are young and have friends who want to be with you."

[Pelagic]

I just don't get it

It takes a long time for me to "Trust" someone... Male or Female.

In any relationship... I keep it friendly, fun, honest and conditional to our shared interests..... but if I doubt their motives or ethics... I cut them off at the knees!

The boat has nothing to do with trust in a relationship.

[Stu Jackson]

Very good advice here.

In addition to taking those folks only YOU choose to go out on your boat, if anything does get more serious, suggest your new significant other help you change the oil & transmission fluid.

If they do, and do a good job helping you, then and only then consider a next step with them.



Good luck.

[Pete7]

Originally Posted by weavis

er....

Send picture of boat..

The old ones are always the best

[BigNickMontana]

A boat is like anything else of value, if you have a nice vehicle, you own a business, have an airplane, own a home, there will always be people who try to latch on to you because you have something of value and they desire it, or at a minimum a connection to it.

For instance years ago I opened a welding shop, as soon as I did people came out of the wood work wanting to by my "friend" and wanting to be "hooked up" with welding jobs, but none of them were willing to do anything in return for it.

Because of this I had to turn a cold shoulder to a lot of people because they were simply out to get something for nothing.

I think this really sums it up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHJGoZpFeM8

Don't let people in your circle of trust until you have given them good reason to be there!

[dkfurr]

Stu...I can relate to #33 post. 4 or 5 years ago, With new GF, I climbed down into engine compartment with 1/2" wrench to repair something. Wrong size, said " s#!t". Next thing I know a 9/16th is handed over my shoulder. Immediately thought, She's a keeper. Still first mate.

[goat]

Originally Posted by hamburking

Now I've got no boat and no wife. /snip/ My life is in the toilet now.

Kind of what happened to me. Except for the toilet part. Bought another boat, happy as can be.
Make some lemonade.
I got evacuated from my home town last month and spent the time visiting friends, family and chasing dolphins.
Op: I find it best to trust everyone and let them prove me wrong. Cautiously optimistic. Sure I get stung a lot, but life's a lot better on the positive side.

goat

[scgilligan]

Originally Posted by beatlebug

.. I feel like for me it is the opposite. I feel like I am less trusting of guys because once they know I have a boat, I feel like they use me for it..

I can see that happening more from "friends" than potential suitors. Some may hang out with someone they don't care for in a group in order to use your stuff, but who would have a 1 on 1 potentially romantic involvement just to get out on the water a few weekends a month? I would certainly not.
If these "men" will not spend the weekend on the boat with you and no others around, then that may be true. Invite the guy for a weekend and let him know there is not going to be any sailing going on..maybe a rainy weekend. If he declines due to the weather then you know he is not into you. If he just does not want to be stuck in a small space for the weekend, but likes you he will propose an alternate adventure where you can still be together. You will know the true friends when the weather turns cold..

And, on the other hand I can totally see where the boat would make someone appear more attractive..but, there has to be a little attraction in the first place. I always had the same phenomenon with women. A mildly attractive woman in blue jeans and t-shirt, driving a Jeep (or Harley) with the top down certainly looks better than she does in a mini-van...but an unattractive woman in a Jeep does not do it for me.

[weavis]

You are who you are. You have what you have.

Enjoy it.

You dont have to be friends with people you dont want to be. You dont have to take people on your boat. No one invites all to their apartment do they?

Just live your life and let people prove themselves in their own way. The right people soon show up the mix.

Dont overthink it.... its your boat, your life and your time.... just live and enjoy..

Its not a big deal in the long run...

[carlo de leo]

That is a post that really touched me...
I have almost the same problems with two friends in particular and this creates some troubles in my conscience.
But, as someone said before, relax and enjoy what you have. Dont have to invite all the time. And if the friendship is exclusivelly in interest, well, every relationship, if you stop to think is based in interests...perhaps this will turns to your side in the future, never knows...
Best wishes from Brazil!