Aging Newbie Needs Reality Check from Experienced Sailors

[GafferMate]

Hope I'm not posting this again--think I lost it when trying to edit--so please forgive it pops up twice?

Hi, Keri, glad you've stimulated so much good conversation, valuable information, and sincere support for your dreams. We all have shared them in wonderfully rewarding but different ways...which is the key. Being flexible and finding ways to still be afloat and independent as possible even if not the idealized way it might have been when we were younger and more fit.

I'm 68, still loving living aboard since the first morning I woke up on a (leaking old power-) boat, in 1974. My husband & I built our boat for a home, a way of life, and a way for him to return to the South Pacific sites where he'd been during WWII. We did that during the ensuing thirty-three years, though the building and being anchored parts were much larger than the sailing.

Since 2009, when Bill (83) died, the increasing awareness of my own future debility/mortality and how to deal with it has been compounded by living alone at anchor in rural Philippines. Though I am capable of doing all the maintenance and possibly even sailing her myself on a calm day, I employ a younger local to share the work, who will also be deck hand when sailing.

I want to live forever on PILAR--sailing was never a priority, just being afloat and around boats is enough satisfaction--so I've come up with a couple of scenarios where it could be possible:

Remaining in, or finding a new foreign land where the weather was warm and living on a small pension possible, I would then need a Marina where neighbors were aware of my presence and getting on/off the boat was easy, with marketing just a short distance away.

Or, accepting that there are Changes that are not Choices, and because I have interests I could pursue if I had a studio, selling PILAR and building a houseboat/studio would ease the transition to shoreside life--again, to be nearer a non-transient community that also cares and would note feeble cries for help.

Which brings me to my own rather stark feelings as to inevitable medical needs. Having lived so long in a third world country, death is still regretted but accepted as inevitable. Even when due to physician ineptness which happens more often than not, here, because for most of the world, few have the resources to heroically extend lives that those in more affluent countries unquestioningly expect. I expect to be in good but poor company when I 'pass on', for whatever reason.

I remember reading, "A good life is long enough, but a long life may not be good enough."

So, Keri, you are on the right track of thinking what elements you want present in the last chapters of your life. Figure out where and what you can live with when the time comes that changes happen that are no longer your choices.

Sincerely,
Diane

[Geek_Guy]

It's also time for me to take a moment to reinforce SFS's great post and add my kudo's to Anne and Jim. I totally agree with every point made. Would like to add one more point: That you guys NEVER lose your grace. Even when you disagree and post such it is always with positive information for the forum.

Dave

[KeriMoonbeam]

Gaffermate, thank you so very much! I of course gained much from your post and thank you for taking the time to write. I love all the posts I've received! I definitely am going to pursue some thing(s) suggested but no clue what it will be. I'm leaning toward maybe the hostel route or an affordable seaside location with lots of boat traffic where I can do some crewing - I'm willing to do the dirty work and I'd be delighted to serve as ballast!
And thanks to so many people willing to suggest alternatives to my "liveaboard dream," now I'm thinking outside my own box and what an awesome gift that is! Now I have some excellent ideas of more gradual approaches to making a transition from life as I've always known it to "the dream."
All of you are amazing! You've brought tears to my eyes just because you have all been so freely giving and the genuine caring and compassion comes through loud and clear.
Thank all of you for so much more than I would ever have asked for or expected. If any of you are ever sailing across the great plains... oh well - see ya on the beach somewhere, sometime. And PS - you all have beautiful boats. That's one thing I know for sure!
Have fun for me! I'll catch up when I can!

[JPA Cate]

Nicely said, Keri, and good luck with it all. Smart you for starting to plan ahead.

Ann

[rbyham]

I have not read all responses so may have missed some pieces but here are my thoughts for what it is worth. Having transitioned to the sailing life about 4 years ago as a late 50-something, I can relate to the financial and health concerns that people are expressing here. But I also hear the cry of a lady looking to get out of the rat-race and find some escape.

Well here is my thought. I may some day cruise a bit further but for now while still working I am limited to day sails and weekends with the occasional longer runs when I take vacation. Here is the key piece, I have been amazed at how much an afternoon on the water feels like escape to say nothing of a weekend or week long run. And with day sailing as a goal, the boat need changes drastically in every way. Something smaller is both cheaper, easier to maintain, and easier to operate.

The key is location. You need to live somewhere that allows for fun year round sailing. Think of San Diego, some Florida locales, and maybe even up into Georgia and South Carolina. No doubt there are others as well. If you are already in one of those and own your home, I would advise to stay right there and buy a boat to sail. Something along the lines of a Catalina 25 can be cheap, comparatively easy to sail, cheap to maintain, and a lot of fun on the water for a day, weekend, or even a week. That sort of setup could also quite easily introduce you to a whole new crowd as you begin to get to know folks in a local marina , sailing club, or yacht club. Assuming you could retire at age 65 would give you a couple years to get comfortable with sailing and boat ownership at which point you could just keep going with that setup or move to something larger. But my guess is you would continue to be happy day sailing for a long time.

[janice142]

Originally Posted by Sea Dreaming

CF member janice142 has a blog about life aboard a trawler. Very charming! See janice142.com (snip)

But take a look at Janices site just to get a taste of what life might be like on a power boat.

Thanks for the kind words Sea Dreaming... that's right nice of you.

And Keri, may I be so bold as to suggest a power boat (small!) might be an alternative. You'll be afloat and the view is spectacular.

As others have said, the same sights are seen from the aft deck of my 23'er as from the mega-million dollar yacht nearby. Frankly my view is probably better because I can anchor closer to shore.

But as for learning about this life on a limited budget, female perspective, I do believe you'll find value perusing my website. I'm doing it, tomorrow will be 9 years on this boat. She's almost perfect.

Mother used to say: The ideal boat sleeps two, feeds four and drinks six.

I believe that to be true. Mine however sleeps one, feeds two and I don't drink.

As a woman alone I had a few things that were important to me:
#1) Diesel engine. I bought a boat with a gasser.
#2) I wanted a place to entertain where the fellow would not be staring at my bunk. Didn't want anyone to get any "ideas" you know?
#3) See out. No caves. I wanted to be able to sit down and look over the anchorage. Watching nature is an important part of my happiness quotient.

This is my dinette area. I do most of my daytime living here:


#4) Convenient head. I'm at an age where that's a part of my night ritual.
#5) Be able to go forward in a blow to check my anchor. It's not great, however I can do it. That's another compromise I made.
#6) Not too many steps. I have bad knees (three surgeries) so the up/down thing needed to be curtailed as much as possible.

No boat will meet all your requirements. You'll be choosing what will work and making adaptations. I chose an inadequate boat that did not have all I needed. She had enough, and in the intervening nine years (I bought her on Pi Day 2008) she's almost perfect.

Like others I would NOT suggest you jump in with both feet. Read more, learn more, ask question, fine-tune your plan and then ask for help implementing it. In the meantime, visit Boats for Sale - New and Used Boats and Yachts - YachtWorld.com for eye candy. See what appeals to you and what you don't like.

For me, a trawler owner, I wanted my galley up so I could see out while cooking and washing dishes. It's also a benefit because of my age Keri. I drink more because it is convenient to get out a beverage from my reefer aka refrigerator. If the reefer were down below I don't know that I would "feel like" going up and down steps just to get something to wet my whistle.

My friend, looking for his Last Boat, wants a covered cockpit. He calls it his back porch and imagines himself sitting back there reading his Kindle. Yep, you guessed it: he's been in my cockpit reading and found it very relaxing.

I've rattled on a bit. This life is possible however you need to absolutely have the correct boat. I believe for me (and possibly you too) that a power boat, houseboat or even shanty-boat might be an option to consider. I love love love my Seaweed.



And I can well imagine living out my days aboard her. She's not fancy. Seaweed is my home, my shelter, my safety and my happiness. I would not want to live anyplace else.

Good luck Keri. I hope you find your happiness and bliss. I have!

[Jim Cate]

Nice post, Janice, even if it is about a stinkpot!! And possibly a good out for Keri, for we don't know how important the sailing part would be for her. There are so many ways to enjoy the ocean...

Jim

[ranger58sb]

Originally Posted by KeriMoonbeam

But of course, there are wrinkles:
(1) I am a 63 year old woman, alone, with one sailing class 40 years ago and maybe 3 minutes actually running a 16 foot sailboat under the teacher's watchful eye on a land locked lake.
(2) And, I have some arthritis that makes twisting myself into a pretzel to do boat maintenance almost entirely impossible. Plus I have fibromyalgia which is fine with proper prescriptions but otherwise is constant pain and crippling fatigue.

Can't speak to fibro or financials...

But you're younger than we are, and I have significant arthritis issues...

With that as background, and if you're more focused on being on/around the water than you are about the actual propulsion system...

It doesn't take much strength (or pretzel-ing yourself) to control horsepower attached to a throttle... or to a bow or stern thruster. There are inexpensive (relatively) powerboat solutions if that might be an option for you. (See also Janice's post #66.)

I realize any sailboat with a decent auxiliary can work similarly, if you intend to motor most of the time anyway, and choose when you want to deal with sails... but then again, if you might motor often, maybe almost always, why bother with sails in the first place? And with all the rigging maintenance? (I'm hoping forum members will cut me some slack on that thought, given your circumstances.)

As to maintenance... I just do what I can, and then hire folks to do things that would otherwise hurt me. I've found I can sometimes do more than I would normally be willing to try, perhaps because of either intellectual or financial incentive.

But also, on a less complicated boat, once it's in very good shape, routine maintenance can be manageable. Buy right, fix it up right away (or have some of that done for you, if necessary), enjoy.

-Chris

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by janice142

Thanks for the kind words Sea Dreaming... that's right nice of you.

And Keri, may I be so bold as to suggest a power boat (small!) might be an alternative. You'll be afloat and the view is spectacular.

As others have said, the same sights are seen from the aft deck of my 23'er as from the mega-million dollar yacht nearby. Frankly my view is probably better because I can anchor closer to shore.

But as for learning about this life on a limited budget, female perspective, I do believe you'll find value perusing my website. I'm doing it, tomorrow will be 9 years on this boat. She's almost perfect.

Mother used to say: The ideal boat sleeps two, feeds four and drinks six.

I believe that to be true. Mine however sleeps one, feeds two and I don't drink.

As a woman alone I had a few things that were important to me:
#1) Diesel engine. I bought a boat with a gasser.
#2) I wanted a place to entertain where the fellow would not be staring at my bunk. Didn't want anyone to get any "ideas" you know?
#3) See out. No caves. I wanted to be able to sit down and look over the anchorage. Watching nature is an important part of my happiness quotient.

This is my dinette area. I do most of my daytime living here:


#4) Convenient head. I'm at an age where that's a part of my night ritual.
#5) Be able to go forward in a blow to check my anchor. It's not great, however I can do it. That's another compromise I made.
#6) Not too many steps. I have bad knees (three surgeries) so the up/down thing needed to be curtailed as much as possible.

No boat will meet all your requirements. You'll be choosing what will work and making adaptations. I chose an inadequate boat that did not have all I needed. She had enough, and in the intervening nine years (I bought her on Pi Day 2008) she's almost perfect.

Like others I would NOT suggest you jump in with both feet. Read more, learn more, ask question, fine-tune your plan and then ask for help implementing it. In the meantime, visit Boats for Sale - New and Used Boats and Yachts - YachtWorld.com for eye candy. See what appeals to you and what you don't like.

For me, a trawler owner, I wanted my galley up so I could see out while cooking and washing dishes. It's also a benefit because of my age Keri. I drink more because it is convenient to get out a beverage from my reefer aka refrigerator. If the reefer were down below I don't know that I would "feel like" going up and down steps just to get something to wet my whistle.

My friend, looking for his Last Boat, wants a covered cockpit. He calls it his back porch and imagines himself sitting back there reading his Kindle. Yep, you guessed it: he's been in my cockpit reading and found it very relaxing.

I've rattled on a bit. This life is possible however you need to absolutely have the correct boat. I believe for me (and possibly you too) that a power boat, houseboat or even shanty-boat might be an option to consider. I love love love my Seaweed.



And I can well imagine living out my days aboard her. She's not fancy. Seaweed is my home, my shelter, my safety and my happiness. I would not want to live anyplace else.

Good luck Keri. I hope you find your happiness and bliss. I have!

I loved your write up. Down to earth with no BS.

[hsi88]

I would keep my job and spend the summer sailing somewhere local to where you live. No idea where you live, but I'm just over an hour from the Chesapeake. Spend some time sailing. I'd be happy to take you out when it warms up. See if you like it. I'm sure there are plenty of folks you could go sailing with wherever you live. Maybe buy a small boat and give it a try. If you don't mind the small size and just wanted to learn, I have a 22 foot Macgregor that is kept on a trailer that you could have for free. Bought it for my son and he doesn't want it. Easily sleeps a couple and uses a porta-potty (not installed), so not a bad weekender. Could keep it on the trailer or put it in a slip. A slip for a boat that size where I keep my boat is about $1000 a year. Don't like sailing? Give the boat to the next person who wants to learn sailing or sell it to cover any costs along the way. I also have a Catalina 27 I need to sell. Been talking about it, but haven't had time to deal with it. It has standing headroom and could be used for a summer to learn sailing. Or you may find its all the boat you need. Not really a long term live aboard, but people do it all the time. Just some other options to think about.

I'm 61 and still have one more to get through college, so I'm working at least until 65. But that doesn't mean I can't sail weekends or for a week somewhere, several times a year. I too can feel the time clock clicking by. But there are ways of making it happen. Team up with another woman or if you have kids perhaps they might be into it. The work load goes down if more than one is actually participating in operating the boat. I tend to single hand, even with a boat load of people, but should you find someone who shares your passion, sailing becomes that much easier. I actually enjoy just sitting on the boat at the slip tinkering with things. Mike's crabhouse is right there and they have live bands on weekends outside all summer long. I get a front row seat and enjoy my own cocktails. Or if some of the folks at the dock want to run up for dinner, we do that too.

Don't be afraid to jump in, one foot at a time. You will know quickly if this is as fun as it looks or more work than its worth.

[Ida_Lewis]

I'm 60 and bought a 33' Nonsuch last year. I think it's the perfect geezer monohull -- all lines led aft, just one sail, electric winch, etc. Looking forward to sailing her this season after a summer of repairs and upgrades. Lived aboard last summer -- very comfortable!

[gamayun]

Originally Posted by Ida_Lewis

I'm 60 and bought a 33' Nonsuch last year. I think it's the perfect geezer monohull -- all lines led aft, just one sail, electric winch, etc. Looking forward to sailing her this season after a summer of repairs and upgrades. Lived aboard last summer -- very comfortable!

Congrats, Ida Your Nonsuch is similar to my Freedom 38 and for many of the same reasons! But if you're a geezer, then I'm approaching geezer-hood, and I refuse to believe that!!

[Ida_Lewis]

Originally Posted by gamayun

Congrats, Ida Your Nonsuch is similar to my Freedom 38 and for many of the same reasons! But if you're a geezer, then I'm approaching geezer-hood, and I refuse to believe that!!

Naturally it's all in the mind! However, everybody under 35 looks about 12 to me! "Shouldn't you be in class?"

[KeriMoonbeam]

HSI88, What an amazing post! Too bad I'm still working this evening. I'm very interested - lots of logistics to sort out. I'll have some time over the next 2-3 days (crazy,eh?) but I want to sit down & carefully read your entire post and get back to you when I can try to write a proper reply. Hope you'll be around to find it when I do!
Thanks so much! Happy sailing!

[Badsanta]

List your general location. Some of us can give you a sail for the day. Come on over.