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Pelagic · 13-08-2014, 17:14

LOL Mark.... Didn't see any blocked neutrons there.... But would have been happy to encabulate... Just in case..

frgeorgeh · 19-08-2014, 18:55

Don't forget to realign the imodium pue 32 galactic space demodulator after letting out the neutrons

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socaldmax · 19-08-2014, 19:33

Once upon a time, we were about 400' deep and going thataway when the ship's DCA (Damage Control Assistant, but we called him the Damage Causing Assistant) asked me about the status of a repair to the Ship's Inertial Nav System (DMINS). I was a little irritated with him at the time, so I told him we were waiting for a new flux capacitor from supply as soon as we pulled into port.

He promptly wrote that down in the Capt's nightly report and got his ass royally reamed by the CO for being so gullible. For a short while after that, he demanded to see a schematic or ship's drawing of what I was telling him, since he wouldn't believe me for the next month or so. LOL

A few months later, we were getting ready to take pics at night thru the periscope. That type of scope used a Nikon body with a motor drive and it was powered by 8 AA cells. To be 100% sure we didn't have problems with weak batteries, the OOD would give us a 5 min. heads up, and we'd put fresh batteries in it. The ET div. took a great deal of pride in never screwing up so we didn't take chances on weak batteries. I loaded up the batteries, and installed the camera and motor drive. The OOD takes one pic, and it doesn't advance. He starts swearing and tosses the camera to me. I dump the 8 batteries out, and load another 8 fresh out of the package, just like the first ones. This time it works fine, but I'm pissed as hell because he thinks I loaded a battery in backwards and I was positive that I didn't. I put a meter on all 8 batteries and 1 battery was built backwards! The poles were reversed! After we secured from the photo op, I apologized to the OOD, and explained to him that one of the 8 cells was built backwards, and he didn't believe me! I had to pull it out of my pocket, and stick the meter on it, then he apologized to me when he saw the meter reading! The chances of having a backwards cell is probably 1 in a million, but of course it happened to me when I could least afford to have a problem, in the dark no less! After that, I test fired the camera twice before handing it over!

socaldmax · 19-08-2014, 19:54

One day the Capt. called me into his stateroom with a really serious look on his face. He said, "I have a favor to ask of you, and you can say no if you like, I'll completely understand. I have a private airplane and the intercom system is portable, it runs off of a 9v battery. I've had the electronic tech. at my FBO look at it twice, and he can't seem to get it to misbehave, but every time I take off, it cuts out at random intervals and drives me nuts. Can you take a look at it for me some day?"

"I'd love to, sir!" He was a great guy and was actually using his plane to fly crew members back and forth from Vallejo to San Diego every weekend to see their families. I took the intercom and a headset back to my workspace and turned it on, worked fine. I shook it a little and it started to break up. It was about 1100, I was planning on going to lunch at 1130, so I opened it up and checked the battery, it was fine. On a hunch, I slit the cover off of the 9v battery connector and there it was: a cold solder joint making intermittent contact with the battery terminal. I dug out a soldering iron, resoldered the connection, superglued the cover back onto the connector, then ran a very small ziptie around the middle to relieve the strain on the wires.

I tested it out, shook it, upside down, every which way, worked great, looks like that was it. I look at my watch and it's only 1120. I figured I'd better give it back to the CO before it grows some legs and walks away. As soon as the CO sees me, he says, "Give up already? I understand! The tech at the airport tried twice and never could figure it out! But thanks for trying!" I said, "Sir, it's fixed. I tested it out, seems to be fine now. It was a loose/broken connection at the battery connector. I resoldered it, glued it and put a ziptie to relieve the strain, so it shouldn't happen again."

He says, "Son of a bitch! You have no idea how much money I wasted trying to get this thing fixed! And here you did it in 20 minutes! You've made me a very happy man! Let me know when you want a ride down to SD to see your wife!" I never did get around to flying down with him, but every weekend he flew 12 guys down with him and back, that was the least I could do for him. He used to joke, "If the weather delays us and we get back later than planned, you don't have to worry about being U.A., hell, you're with me!" LOL

piloto · 23-08-2014, 18:33

You guys are making me cry. Anybody know you can't fix the panels once the neurons leak out if you brain, I mean panels. The only cure is a saline solution consisting of fruit justice and quinine electrolyzed by midnight moonshine and magnetically separated providing pure elixir known as a G & T. Follow the recipe exactly and you may recover the hard drive.

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Scot McPherson · 25-08-2014, 07:16

G&T is a life saver

fstbttms · 25-08-2014, 08:31

I used to have a car repair business installing Holly Quandulators and styrofoam muffler bearings.

tbodine88 · 25-08-2014, 13:51

I hear they really need some dependable person to clean the Solar Cells in Saudi Arabia. This was our biggest problem with our solar powered equipment, no one dusted them off, things would just cease functioning after a while.

Finding someone you could depend on to go out in the dessert and dust them off dependably was very very difficult.

Pelagic · 25-08-2014, 18:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by tbodine88

I hear they really need some dependable person to clean the Solar Cells in Saudi Arabia. This was our biggest problem with our solar powered equipment, no one dusted them off, things would just cease functioning after a while.

Finding someone you could depend on to go out in the dessert and dust them off dependably was very very difficult.

What if you placed them underneath wind turbines fitted with a nozzle and duct to blow over the solar panels? ...

)

Scot McPherson · 25-08-2014, 18:10

That would be an inappropriate use of wind turbines, they add spiral rotation quarks to the wires, whereas solar panels have no spiral polarity at all, you'd reduce the effectiveness of the panels by a gigacent at least, probably 5

Scot McPherson · 25-08-2014, 18:13

Forgive my typo...my iPear phone autocorrected nanocent into gigacent, go figure...you guys must have thought my Titan space center institute of technology philander doctoral pedegree was bogus for a moment there....hehe, glad I caught that so quickly

Pelagic · 25-08-2014, 18:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scot McPherson

That would be an inappropriate use of wind turbines, they add spiral rotation quarks to the wires, whereas solar panels have no spiral polarity at all, you'd reduce the effectiveness of the panels by a gigacent at least, probably 5

Though about that Scot but it seemed pissable that if you reverse pilarized the quarks you could defectively reduce that loss and power the fan from the solar energy gained from this dust up.
....Dam that autocorrect!