Income for long term cruising?

[oblivionboyj]

Originally Posted by Lizzy Belle

Not joking, trolling. Big difference.

I am familiar with trolling.
Not my first rodeo on the interwebs

[boatman61]

Oblivionboy.. If you 'Just Divorce Her'.. you'll be lucky if you still have a boat to go sailing..

[Lizzy Belle]

That's what ante, pre- and postnubs are for, Boatman

<-- was married once upon a time, with an ante-nuptial agreement securely in place

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by Lizzy Belle

That's what ante, pre- and postnubs are for, Boatman

<-- was married once upon a time, with an ante-nuptial agreement securely in place

Sorry.. forgot Marriage had become a 'Commercial/Employment Contract..
YUCK... I'd feel like a Hooker as opposed to someone loved
When I moved on it was my duffel bag and bike.. the rest I left.
Who needs an anchor.??

[daletournier]

Originally Posted by first wind

I don't have any suggestions. I am sure there are many, here, that have plenty of good ones. I do, however, have a question/observation.

I don't get this. honestly. if you are not going to be together and your lives are going different ways ( you don't care for each other's company anymore?) then why stay married? is it financial: it's cheaper to keep her? kind of a don't take everything I own and leave me with nothing and i'll keep you for life kind of thing? I mean, what's the purpose in being married in such a situation?

don't get me wrong. it's your life. I am not trying to judge you and you certainly don't owe me an answer. i'm just curious and trying to understand.


to my mind, a relationship (marriage, living together, whatever) is about being with someone you love and sharing your lives together. sharing your happiness, your adventures, the hard times and the good times. it's about two people enriching each other's experiences in life. for instance, long distance road trips on the chopper are so much richer when shared with someone you love.

if I was with someone in a relationship where I did everything I loved to do... the things which made me happy...by myself, only spending the drab bits in between with her, i'd have no reason to be in that relationship...except sex. and, since you won't be with her but once in a very great while, you won't be having much of that. in fact, for the price of dinner and drinks and maybe a daysail, you could get that a lot more frequently in your port of calls and get some variety, too.


to me, it looks like a financial burden back on shore with no real benefit. kind of like keeping an old pair of jeans that no longer fit because, you just can't stand to throw them away. only, it doesn't usually cost you thousands of dollars a year to keep an old pair of jeans that you can't wear anymore

I mean, I guess it's a sure thing to return to (a guaranteed place to rest your head) if your health fades or your money runs out and you need a fallback. kind of a guarantee that you don't have to be alone in your final days.

I just don't really understand it.

What you say I agree with, BUT logic and emotions are two different things. It's always easier from the outside. I often think I should trust a proven friend to make my big decisions and vise versa , I always know the best path for someone else...lol.

Sent from my GT-N7105T using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[Lizzy Belle]

Originally Posted by boatman61

YUCK... I'd feel like a Hooker as opposed to someone loved

Marriage, to me (and this is very personal and probably different for many people) is a piece of paper that doesn't mean anything. But sometimes it's the easiest way to deal with the legal side of life. Which has nothing to do with love at all.

If I stay with someone, through the good and the bad, that is love. Which I am very capable of without a piece of paper or ceremony of any kind

[a64pilot]

Aircraft inspector wise
I assume you mean you have your Inspection Authorization?
If so then you know the absolute min is a once yearly class and be "actively engaged". The term actively engaged means different things to different FSDO's. The renewal is every other year, but the yearly requirements are the same they have been for a long time.
I've been wondering myself if it's worth keeping my IA when we go cruising, and or keeping my second class medical.


Sent from my iPad Pro using Cruisers Sailing Forum

[Rustic Charm]

Originally Posted by Lizzy Belle

Marriage, to me (and this is very personal and probably different for many people) is a piece of paper that doesn't mean anything. But sometimes it's the easiest way to deal with the legal side of life. Which has nothing to do with love at all.

If I stay with someone, through the good and the bad, that is love. Which I am very capable of without a piece of paper or ceremony of any kind

Whilst I'm usually in agreement with you Lizzy, I don't think I am here. A marriage is not just a piece of paper and if love has nothing to do with it, I feel sorry for those people as they are missing out on heaps.

I've had others (a number of friends and both my best man and bridesmaid at my wedding) who objected to marriage and claim 'it's only a piece of paper'. None of those who I have ever heard say this, stay together. It's so much easier to finish a relationship outside a marriage than from within.

[first wind]

i have a comment to make about people suggesting divorce. i am sure there was some kidding but, i'll be honest, i don't think most were typing their posts under bridges or in high mountain passes (thus not trolls).

certainly my quoted post, above, was not done in jest or as a troll. nor was i being cruel. first, i really am interested to understand such a life choice. however, as far as being cruel goes: yes, if his wife was like the guy above's wife, who never had a job and has no retirement, it would be a financial hardship to just dump her (regardless of the situation, i'm sure a woman in such a situation wouldn't willingly separate and be destitute). love or no love, there is an obligation in that case. i wouldn't even have asked if that were the case.

however, if i read the OP's posts correctly, his wife had her own career and both of them are retiring. that's different. also, i wasn't just suggesting he come home, pack up his stuff to go cruising, and declare "it's been nice to know you but i'm out of here. see ya!"

it's possible for two people to grow apart or to have their lives move in different directions and then they congenially agree to go their separate ways.

it's interesting how strongly this subject has affected different people. when discussing it with my mother, she immediately took the attitude that he just up and said i'm doing what i want and so screw you wife. the fact that there is every evidence from his posts that this simply isn't true didn't even phase her. he must be a dastardly dude. (she also didn't like the fact that i thought they possibly should go their own ways because they didn't want the same things)

her attitude is: how dare he put his desire of cruising over her desire to live in a house. my response, which simply made her get agitated was to ask why her desire was more valid than his. to my mind, it's equally valid to ask how dare she put her land based desires over his desire to cruise.

of course, the guy is always supposed to give up his dream to support the dreams of the wife. just like the guy is supposed to pay his half of the bills but the only space on the property he is allowed to really claim as his is the tool shed, garage, or (now that men don't fix or make things) his 'man cave'. everything else is the way the woman wants it. that's one of the things i like about my boat: it's mine. my sanctuary. my home. things are done my way, on board. if you don't like it, shove off. no matter how nice it can be to live with a woman, i would be reluctant to do that again, just because i really don't see the incentive to go to work, bust your hump, and have hardly any of what you work towards to really call yours.

but, i digress. sorry.

my point is, i understand that everyone has different feelings about the issue... and different reasons behind those feelings. there is no approach to the situation that is more or less valid than another (as long as you don't actually throw someone to the sharks to get what you want). i just wanted to understand what was behind this one.

as i am pretty sure i said, previously, i wish him luck in his plans.

anyhow, just because a person says they would choose a divorce in the same situation, it does not make them a troll.

[Lizzy Belle]

Originally Posted by Rustic Charm

It's so much easier to finish a relationship outside a marriage than from within.

You can get a divorce online these days ...

And (re-)marry at a drive-through - if you're in the US, at least. Here in the Netherlands, you have to get out of your car and into city hall, but the whole thing can be done in 15 mins flat.

A piece of paper isn't going to make me stay.
A good relationship with the right person, on the other hand, would. And has.
A trip to city hall doesn't make the relationship any better or worse. Does make some legal stuff a lot easier and cheaper to sort

But, again, that's just me. Not saying others should feel the same way; it's very personal and whatever feels best is the way to go.

[daletournier]

First wind.....very well put. It's just not simple, and sometimes people end up just wanting to do different things particularly when the realization of time is fleeting comes into it. Many have trouble being rational or honest in such a emotional issue. It doesn't mean you don't care about your spouse when you choose another path. Being true to yourself , your needs and desires is just as , if not more valid than caring about another's needs or desires, regardless of how some may label you.

Sent from my GT-N7105T using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[oblivionboyj]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Sorry.. forgot Marriage had become a 'Commercial/Employment Contract..
YUCK... I'd feel like a Hooker as opposed to someone loved
When I moved on it was my duffel bag and bike.. the rest I left.
Who needs an anchor.??

But that is just it, marriage IS a contract! That is why there was all the hubbub about gay marriage, there was a portion of American society being denied the right to contract and free association. The core of marriage is not love, it is commitment. That is why it requires a court of law to dissolve it.

[oblivionboyj]

Originally Posted by Lizzy Belle

Marriage, to me (and this is very personal and probably different for many people) is a piece of paper that doesn't mean anything. But sometimes it's the easiest way to deal with the legal side of life. Which has nothing to do with love at all.

If I stay with someone, through the good and the bad, that is love. Which I am very capable of without a piece of paper or ceremony of any kind

100% correct!
Marriage is a legal agreement. Nothing more. That is why it is sacrosanct. Ideally the married couple loves each other. But that is a personal matter. The marriage is a contract, and that is why I assign it so much sanctity.
Don't get me wrong, I adore my wife. I am not an idiot. I entered into this contract with a woman I trust. But that doesn't change the nature of our contract.

[oblivionboyj]

Originally Posted by a64pilot

Aircraft inspector wise
I assume you mean you have your Inspection Authorization?
If so then you know the absolute min is a once yearly class and be "actively engaged". The term actively engaged means different things to different FSDO's. The renewal is every other year, but the yearly requirements are the same they have been for a long time.
I've been wondering myself if it's worth keeping my IA when we go cruising, and or keeping my second class medical.


Sent from my iPad Pro using Cruisers Sailing Forum

Yes, you are correct. But as with everything, else the interwebs have made this easier. These days all you have to do to maintain the IA is take an online course once every two years (one element of two, once a year, covers your active engagement). But even if you let the IA expire the FAA requires that you work 6 months of every 2 years to maintain currency on your mechanics license. It is probably the most ignored regulation on the books in aviation, but the timing of it is the basis for my work schedule once I go cruising for no other reason than I needed to pick some kind of schedule.
I haven't used my IA for a decade. I am a senior inspector for Sikorsky. I have been signing under their authority for a long time. Using your IA is not required to maintain or hold the IA.

[denverd0n]

Originally Posted by oblivionboyj

Marriage is a legal agreement. Nothing more. That is why it is sacrosanct. Ideally the married couple loves each other. But that is a personal matter.

Well, this is getting way, way off topic, but...

I think the problem is a semantic one. The word "marriage" means different things to different people. Some use it to refer to the loving commitment between people. Some think more in terms of the religious implications of the word. Some (you, obviously) think primarily in terms of the legal relationships that most countries recognize when people get "married."

As such, this whole discussion about "marriage" is not so much a disagreement about the various aspects of a loving/religious/legal relationship between people as it is a disconnect over the meaning of the word. Of course, this sort of semantic disconnect is at the heart of a huge percentage of discussions.

(Oops! I just realized that I mentioned religion. Does that mean this thread now has to be immediately locked?)