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Old 09-02-2016, 06:09   #46
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

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Originally Posted by Steven UK View Post
What is interesting is other people's attitudes to it when we discuss it. Screw them and do what suits you two.
Exactly. Or don't even discuss it with them. It's none of their business anyway.
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Old 09-02-2016, 07:42   #47
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

Interesting thread for those of use at that point in life. I on the other hand have different problem I purchased a smaller boat that I could handle easily by my self so when I retire several years ahead of my wife I could go solo and she would continue to work and catch up with me on occasion She said no! I cruise she cruise and wants bigger boat. Guess I need to start my own thread
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Old 09-02-2016, 07:55   #48
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

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Originally Posted by sartorst View Post
Interesting thread for those of use at that point in life. I on the other hand have different problem I purchased a smaller boat that I could handle easily by my self so when I retire several years ahead of my wife I could go solo and she would continue to work and catch up with me on occasion She said no! I cruise she cruise and wants bigger boat. Guess I need to start my own thread

This thread has sort of evolved beyond the scope of it's title,
I'd suggest starting another one as I believe many see the title and don't see what it has evolved to, and I'd suspect many of us are in the same position, so a lot may be missing out.
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Old 09-02-2016, 08:01   #49
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pirate Re: Income for long term cruising?

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Originally Posted by first wind View Post
my thoughts exactly. however, (having read the entire thread since my post) the OP has basically explained his situation. she doesn't want that kind of life but she doesn't want to limit him. yet they do love each other. so, they are working out a sort of compromise. is it one i'd choose? no. is he a lucky man to have a woman that doesn't want to bury him? heck yes. so, more power to them.
Yup...!!
Ifin ya lurve. someone.. I mean Reelie LURVE someone let them spred their wings.. and FLY...!!!

If they come back.. no one else wants em...

But seriously.. Respect that these two are mature enough and care about each other enough to respect and believe in each other..
Realistically less than 4hrs a day is spent in each others company if working and not counting sleep.. usually a bit of stress from work/whatever.. each doing their own thing.. just sharing space..
Switch to future.. hubby on boat.. wife back home fulfilling Her life without criticism however well meaning.. interspersed with 4-5-6-whatever trips to beautiful locations and a couple of weeks intense (romantic?) 24/7 honeymoon thang...
Yeah.. I know.. sloppy..
Yet there's hundreds of thousands of couples already live like this in various professions...
The only thing that makes it unfeasible/workable is simple..

THERE@S A BOAT INVOLED..... YOU MUST BE MAD..

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Old 09-02-2016, 08:04   #50
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

I am retired and my wife (10 years younger) wants to keep working a few more years.
I sail solo quite a lot and wife joins me when she can. She is very encouraging that I do what I want to do while I can do it and not wait for an unknown future.
We plan to cruise together full time for a couple of years after she retires, but for now we do what works.
As far as income, I have found that while cruising I can get by easily on just my social security income.
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Old 09-02-2016, 09:11   #51
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

d0n, you just don't know how to have fun. Instance of saying "none of your business" you could instead, for instance, turn away and blush a bit, and then sheepishly admit you made a mistake and were seduced by your eighth grade teacher. Oh, it got kept out of the papers but you did have two daughters by her, and the girls managed to grow up absolutely marvelously. One is a ballerina with a certain famous company, the other is a slow starter but her paintings are starting to take off, she's just had a gallery showing and your wonderful wife is considerate enough to allow you to take a few weeks off and have them on the boat so you can stay bonded with them, saving everyone from the embarrassment of having you or them in the same house. "But please, don't tell he I mentioned this to you."


Have a little fun. "My parole officer said, and no that I always agree with him but my shrink said the exact same thing so I began to give it more consideration..."
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Old 09-02-2016, 09:53   #52
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

Dear "Hello Sailor",

Please let me know when your next novel is published, I am already a fan.

Yours truly,
Red
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Old 09-02-2016, 10:11   #53
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

My suggestion: Go sailing and have wife meet you at various places like she says she would do. Probably good for a couple of years and realize that cruising is just something else to do. Then sell the boat, get a day sailer for you, and do a few weeks a year of charter in nice places.

If after the couple of years you discover that you can't live without constant cruising, then keep going. My guess is that your marriage will trump that decision however.
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Old 09-02-2016, 10:32   #54
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

Red, I'd love to. Always great to have new fans, but I've got this deal with Jimmy Patterson, the books always come out under his name.(VBG)
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Old 09-02-2016, 13:44   #55
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post

But seriously.. Respect that these two are mature enough and care about each other enough to respect and believe in each other..
Realistically less than 4hrs a day is spent in each others company if working and not counting sleep.. usually a bit of stress from work/whatever.. each doing their own thing.. just sharing space..
Switch to future.. hubby on boat.. wife back home fulfilling Her life without criticism however well meaning.. interspersed with 4-5-6-whatever trips to beautiful locations and a couple of weeks intense (romantic?) 24/7 honeymoon thang...
Yeah.. I know.. sloppy..
Yet there's hundreds of thousands of couples already live like this in various professions...
+1 Spot on!
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Old 29-02-2016, 12:02   #56
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

I know it has been a couple weeks, but I felt compelled to answer due to the tone and content of some of the answers. I shouldn't be shocked at the callousness of some of the answers, but I am.
I am the sole breadwinner for my family. I have made a handsome living, but I am in no way wealthy (by American standards). So that means that deciding to ditch my wife to go sailing I would be committing an act of disloyalty to my wife that is likely much worse than infidelity. Yes, it has been me earing an income all these years. But she has been caring for me, raising our children, keeping our house, and a whole host of other things that have improved the quality of my life without measure. To simply say "I am going sailing, good luck you're on your own" would mean taking from her the retirement, savings, and stability that she has looked to me for our entire marriage. The flippant suggestion of "just get a divorce" is cruel and selfish at the core.
And it isn't like this is not a topic dear to my heart; I plan on leaving for an extended sail in 5 years (50 years old) and my wife has not yet decided to come. But she would never consider stopping me from going. All the same, I understand that going for a sail does not cancel the commitments I have made to her.

I will share some of the strategies that we have been looking into following to make this possible, regardless of what her decision is about her participation.
1) We have already long begun eliminating all debt and reducing our possessions to only what is necessary
2) We are saving all we can simply to have all that may be required for as much as 10 years without me working
3) I plan to return to the US to work as a contractor 6 months of every 2 years (I am an aircraft inspector, and this timing is identical to what the FAA considers minimum time for "currency"). Thankfully due to my background and expertise this is simple, lucrative, and always an available option.
4) My wife has expressed willingness to work some kind of job to add supplemental income to cover our expenses if it seems that she does not want to go, and our minimum life quality will not be met

There are other things we are talking about, but these are some of the big points. I don't yet know how it will end up. I really hope she comes, but if she choses not to I will be happy to one day return to the loving embrace of the woman I chose to spend my life with. Most importantly, we both understand that "spending my life with" does not mean "spending every waking moment with". It truly is alright for one of us to undertake a grand adventure without the other being forced to trudge along with.
Just my $0.02. I am not trying to ruffle any feathers, I just wanted people to think about the advice they are giving. Making jokes is one thing, but he isn't asking to be entertained. He is looking for answers and strategies. Earnestly giving advice that requires one person to be unnecessarily cruel to another doesn't make you smart. It makes you a sociopath.
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Old 29-02-2016, 12:09   #57
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

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Originally Posted by oblivionboyj View Post
Earnestly giving advice that requires one person to be unnecessarily cruel to another doesn't make you smart.
The key word here is 'earnestly'. Mostly, comments like 'just get a divorce' are not earnest advise but trolling. Nothing you can do about that, except for ignoring it completely (which always fails on a forum).

"Don't feed the trolls" is an unwritten law of the internet

I really hope your wife will come with you, even for part of the adventure. But if not, there are always ways to make it work when both partners are fully committed to making it work and seeing it through. Not easy, and wouldn't be my personal choice (hence me staying single ), but not impossible.
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Old 29-02-2016, 12:20   #58
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

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Originally Posted by Lizzy Belle View Post
The key word here is 'earnestly'. Mostly, comments like 'just get a divorce' are not earnest advise but trolling. Nothing you can do about that, except for ignoring it completely (which always fails on a forum).
Oh, I know some people were kidding. I am only suggesting that kidding doesn't really advance the conversation or help the OP. If you're going to make jokes, at least try to be original, funny, and relevant.

Quote:
"Don't feed the trolls" is an unwritten law of the internet
I have never been able to help it. I feed trolls. It is just who I am

Quote:
I really hope your wife will come with you, even for part of the adventure. But if not, there are always ways to make it work when both partners are fully committed to making it work and seeing it through. Not easy, and wouldn't be my personal choice (hence me staying single ), but not impossible.
I hope she choses to come too. Would make EVERYTHING easier, and probably more fun and meaningful too. But even if she doesn't, I still love her and want her to be my wife. We all think about how much easier it would have been to stay single. But the quality and depth of meaning I have found in the life I have (as opposed to the one I could have had) is immeasurable.
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Old 29-02-2016, 13:15   #59
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

Nothing unreasonable with what you write. There is still time for your wife to reconcile the thought of cruising with you. There is, perhaps, the option of a different type of vessel that might change her opinion. Has she tried a catamaran, or a trawler or a ........? Perhaps just use an aeroplane for the longer passages and you take a paying crew member for that time? It sounds to me that you have a strong relationship. Good luck.


Quote:
Originally Posted by oblivionboyj View Post
I know it has been a couple weeks, but I felt compelled to answer due to the tone and content of some of the answers. I shouldn't be shocked at the callousness of some of the answers, but I am.
I am the sole breadwinner for my family. I have made a handsome living, but I am in no way wealthy (by American standards). So that means that deciding to ditch my wife to go sailing I would be committing an act of disloyalty to my wife that is likely much worse than infidelity. Yes, it has been me earing an income all these years. But she has been caring for me, raising our children, keeping our house, and a whole host of other things that have improved the quality of my life without measure. To simply say "I am going sailing, good luck you're on your own" would mean taking from her the retirement, savings, and stability that she has looked to me for our entire marriage. The flippant suggestion of "just get a divorce" is cruel and selfish at the core.
And it isn't like this is not a topic dear to my heart; I plan on leaving for an extended sail in 5 years (50 years old) and my wife has not yet decided to come. But she would never consider stopping me from going. All the same, I understand that going for a sail does not cancel the commitments I have made to her.

I will share some of the strategies that we have been looking into following to make this possible, regardless of what her decision is about her participation.
1) We have already long begun eliminating all debt and reducing our possessions to only what is necessary
2) We are saving all we can simply to have all that may be required for as much as 10 years without me working
3) I plan to return to the US to work as a contractor 6 months of every 2 years (I am an aircraft inspector, and this timing is identical to what the FAA considers minimum time for "currency"). Thankfully due to my background and expertise this is simple, lucrative, and always an available option.
4) My wife has expressed willingness to work some kind of job to add supplemental income to cover our expenses if it seems that she does not want to go, and our minimum life quality will not be met

There are other things we are talking about, but these are some of the big points. I don't yet know how it will end up. I really hope she comes, but if she choses not to I will be happy to one day return to the loving embrace of the woman I chose to spend my life with. Most importantly, we both understand that "spending my life with" does not mean "spending every waking moment with". It truly is alright for one of us to undertake a grand adventure without the other being forced to trudge along with.
Just my $0.02. I am not trying to ruffle any feathers, I just wanted people to think about the advice they are giving. Making jokes is one thing, but he isn't asking to be entertained. He is looking for answers and strategies. Earnestly giving advice that requires one person to be unnecessarily cruel to another doesn't make you smart. It makes you a sociopath.
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Old 29-02-2016, 13:20   #60
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Re: Income for long term cruising?

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Originally Posted by oblivionboyj View Post
I am only suggesting that kidding doesn't really advance the conversation or help the OP. If you're going to make jokes, at least try to be original, funny, and relevant.
Not joking, trolling. Big difference.
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