I'm Walking Away from my Boat

[jongleur]

Just a correction: someone mentioned Desperate Cruisers, but it is really "DesperateSailors.com"

Seems like a pretty useful website.

[onestepcsy37]

surfershane - did i get that right? you can't live on a boat in NSW? what is the reason they don't permit that? can you fight that in court?

here in the states there are tens of thousands living on boats, at all socio-economic levels; from fat cats on gin palaces to near-homeless boat bums on anything that floats. and the state can do little about it beyond the occasional harassment.

i'm not intending to criticize your country, just curious....

[Celestialsailor]

I have walked away, dozens of times. Permanently, once, when I was in my early 20's because I realized I was too poor to afford the bus fare to go work on the boat. Since then and 8 boats later, I will still back off, take inventory of my life, see where my priorities are and re-adjust my situation so that I don't hurt the outcome of my life or the lies of others. this is what you are doing now. Just relax, step back and enjoy the love of your family....then punch the riggers lights out just for the hell of it!
P.S...Your opinion is valued on this form...please stick around.

[engele]

Atol has the right of it. Simplify. Get the boat in the water an use it. If that means tearing out the galley and cooking on a camp stove this year, do it. If you strip out the "projects" the boat will feel more rewarding. I know what you are going through though I never thought of walking away, we have several times our boats worth into it, but it now has taken us from the Pacific to the Caribbean. There were times when our windows leaked, the water pump fried, our transmission failed etc. You can make it through it if you want to, but don't let it ruin your life. With all of its sacrifices finishing still feels good (even if you are never finished on a boat).

[Dockhead]

Originally Posted by loustig

Hi everybody,

First of all, excuse me for my english langage quality. I am French and I do my best to speak the best english I can.

I have just been told about this forum from the french forum "hisse et oh" and have read some the posts. I feel very concerned with this one because I am (maybe now I could say that I was) in the same situation as you.
My boat is a Ne Quid Nimis (34 feet long) and is 31 years old (I am 35 years old). I have bought her 4 years ago and I have spent as much money as time to bring her in good condition.
Many times I have had the same feeling as you and I was looking the other yacht around me with sadness not to be able to sail.

I have done the most emergency work for her to float and I have sailed as soon as I was able to do.
The fact to spend one day on the sea, on your own boat is the biggest reward and will give you a second blow to attack the second part of the work.

My first trip with my boat was to cross the channel from france to ireland.
Here is a link of a short video during my return to france :

I had a problem : I wanted to do too much things at the same time. My experience now is that it is better to do job after job and to sail (even if it is a very few time) between each one.

I am preparing this boat to cruise all over the world in 6 years (when I will have finished to work in the navy).

Take your time and sail on your boat (or if it isn't possible on a sister ship).

In france we say that sailing is 80% of work and 20% of pleasure.

By the way, I see that the shipchandler are the same to the other side of the atlantic. I have learned to maintain my boat without them. It's cheaper and you understand that many things are quite the same in the agricultural shop.

Don't let your dream because of a loss of motivation. Breath, sail and try to take pleasure to work on your boat.

Welcome to CF, Loustig!

Your English is very good - certainly better than my French! In fact, I'm sorry to say, quite a few of our native speakers of English have a much poorer command of the language than you do!

We will look forward to your participation in our discussions.

Cheers.

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Dockhead

Welcome to CF, Loustig!

Your English is very good - certainly better than my French! In fact, I'm sorry to say, quite a few of our native speakers of English have a much poorer command of the language than you do!

We will look forward to your participation in our discussions.

Cheers.

+1

BTW I had a quick look at the French Forum mentioned (thanks to Google Translation!) - the one thread that caught my eye was a lengthy one about docking.......I was surprised that folks in France appear not to have discovered the Gallic Shrug (Le Shrug Gallic? ).

[ozskipper]

Originally Posted by onestepcsy37

surfershane - did i get that right? you can't live on a boat in NSW? what is the reason they don't permit that? can you fight that in court?

here in the states there are tens of thousands living on boats, at all socio-economic levels; from fat cats on gin palaces to near-homeless boat bums on anything that floats. and the state can do little about it beyond the occasional harassment.

i'm not intending to criticize your country, just curious....

You are correct. Living aboard is not allowed in NSW. Its most likely some enviro-nazi got into power one day and decided that yachties kill whales and clear forests by living aboard.

There are "ways" around it. By Bay hopping etc. Thats fine for a retiree, but not much fun for someone who needs to stay in one place for work etc.

Qld allows it. And possible other states. But its a big no in NSW. However, they have to know youre doing it

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by ozskipper

The first mistake when buying a project boat is not getting it seaworthy first and fast. A lot of people leave the boat on the hard while replacing water faucets, stoves, bunks and a bundle of other things that they can do later. Priority number one is to get the boat "sail-able" so it can be used for day trips and pleasure. Then worry about other things later. One can always get water from a drum and sleep on a sailbag.

There is so much work that gets done, just because its on a wish list, but has no bearing on how seaworthy the boat is. All this takes time and affects the owner emotionally as in this case, the boat has absorbed big bucks but hasnt provided pleasure in return.
.

LOL - I knew better .......and that after a lifetime of owning and messing around with boats .

With hindsight (foresight?!) I should have taken this approach (and for the first couple of years I did!) - indeed was the plan last year (a dash to the sea ), but then me health went down the sh#tter somewhat (earlier this year I had last month pencilled in for mostly being dead - downside now is the quacks banging on about stopping smoking , whereas before it was a case of that ain't gonna really gonna matter either way)......life always tends to intervene with boat projects . Well, it has with mine .

Maybe next time I will be a bit smarter? .

[Tia Bu]

We were recently talking about a friend who bought a boat a year or so ago. It's only four or five years old- practically a new boat compared to most on the water. He's only used it a couple of times. He's spent a fortune on repairs, and he's about as frustrated as the original poster in this thread.

A friend who has owned a lot of boats laughed and said this guy just can't own a boat. We all laughed and agreed. We weren't being mean-spirited. We just knew this guy's personality and what boat ownership involves.

If you insist that things must always work exactly as they're supposed to work, that contractors must do what they say they'll do and charge reasonable prices, and that your plans must work out as you planned, then boating is probably NOT the hobby for you.

Buying a newer (or brand new) boat might not have made this any more enjoyable for the o.p.

[ozskipper]

Originally Posted by Tia Bu

We were recently talking about a friend who bought a boat a year or so ago. It's only four or five years old- practically a new boat compared to most on the water. He's only used it a couple of times. He's spent a fortune on repairs, and he's about as frustrated as the original poster in this thread.

A friend who has owned a lot of boats laughed and said this guy just can't own a boat. We all laughed and agreed. We weren't being mean-spirited. We just knew this guy's personality and what boat ownership involves.

If you insist that things must always work exactly as they're supposed to work, that contractors must do what they say they'll do and charge reasonable prices, and that your plans must work out as you planned, then boating is probably NOT the hobby for you.

Buying a newer (or brand new) boat might not have made this any more enjoyable for the o.p.

Perhaps another case of someone trying to perfect their boat. When there is no boat on the planet that can be perfected. No boat will ever be ready!

[Cruiser2B]

I think taking a break is a good idea. Even if that break is a year. Recoup, spend time with the family. Buy a small daysailor and go sailing with the family.You have a great boat, it will still be a great boat when you decide to come back to it. They are not making boats like this anymore. Ones that are close are gonna cost you 200K, and guess what, it too will need work at some point. you have had some bad experiences and that sucks. Take the process one step at a time. if it takes you 3, 5, 8 yrs to finish your boat so be it. Use that time to learn each process and you can do the job yourself.

[ranger58sb]

VB:

Some random thoughts... for after when you've taken a deep breath...

I think it's obvious everyone feels your pain. Which in turn should indicate you're not the only one who's gone through something like this. Many have been able to learn from it, many have grown stronger. Many even have some decent memories of it, even if interspersed with irritation.

Dreams are good. Just because this particular boat isn't easily supporting your dream, doesn't mean the dream needs to be thrown out with the bathwater.

If you can make a complete list of remaining required repairs, that could help you a) decide which work you might be able to do for yourself, and which must be hired, and/or b) decide whether it's worth doing to that particular boat.

Boat work is often not rocket science. There are likely many jobs you could do yourself (assuming time is available), even if you do maybe sometimes need a bit of starter help to understand what to do and why to do it.

For work you must hire, craftsmen come in all sizes and flavors -- as do crooks. If you've found some of the latter... don't do that again. Once you understand what a particular job is, and get a feel for the effort it might entail, recommendations from the community can often steer you to the "right guy." (Sorta like Angie's List, or some such.)

Sometimes seemingly high charges -- aren't. Sometimes they only appear so if you don't have a full grasp of the effort involved. (Like sometimes a 5 minute job "on the bench" can take 3 hours "in place" to undo one simple hose clamp -- due to access issues.)

If that boat's not worth it, or beyond your budget, sell it (with full disclosure). Revisit the dream with a different boat.

Or... revise the dream, if necessary. All participative "sports" (endeavors) are a matter of preference and ability. You can, to a certain extent, manage your level of each.

-Chris

[Captain Jeffry]

OP seems to feel a tad guilty about the other neglected aspects of his life. Perhaps the best course to follow is sell the boat, (which might even be worth a tad more than when he bought it with additions along the way), focus on family and fiance.. when everything is back in order, charter a boat with family (with the 'saved' repair money) and get back to actual sailing..

[LakeSuperior]

Originally Posted by Tia Bu

We were recently talking about a friend who bought a boat a year or so ago. It's only four or five years old- practically a new boat compared to most on the water. He's only used it a couple of times. He's spent a fortune on repairs, and he's about as frustrated as the original poster in this thread.

A friend who has owned a lot of boats laughed and said this guy just can't own a boat. We all laughed and agreed. We weren't being mean-spirited. We just knew this guy's personality and what boat ownership involves.

If you insist that things must always work exactly as they're supposed to work, that contractors must do what they say they'll do and charge reasonable prices, and that your plans must work out as you planned, then boating is probably NOT the hobby for you.

Buying a newer (or brand new) boat might not have made this any more enjoyable for the o.p.

What you are saying here is that "best is the enemy of the good!"

On the other hand "if you set your goals low enough they can always be attained!"

Kind of like balancing on the edge of a sword I guess.

[barnakiel]

I am not convinced hiring too many professionals is an issue here. Is the boat not a W28? These are small and simple boats - nearly anything can be done by the owner.

Step back, take a good long look, dig into do it yourself books and go for it YOURSELF.

What is the actual job the rigger did not do? Can't you handle this on your own?

b.