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Old 03-11-2012, 12:19   #16
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

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Originally Posted by virginia boy View Post
I don't know when I might come back.

Today I've reached my limit. I regret ever having bought this money pit, and I'm disgusted with the shady, unscrupulous, estimate doubling SOB, larcenous contractors in the marine industry.

I'm frustrated and overwhelmed with the sheer volume of work yet to be done and exhausted with the study regimen required to learn all this stuff.

I was so angry with the riggers work today I wanted to go punch him in the mouth so rather than go to jail I'm walking away. I'm leaving the boat on the hard and I'm going to the condo and I might be back in the spring or maybe not.

Please forgive my rant but maybe prospective boat owners and wannabes can learn from this thread what a nightmare it can be. An old boat can wipe you out financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically.

I'm going to walk away. I will start paying more attention to my children, my fiancÚ, my emotional and physical health and all the really important things I've been neglecting.

My boat was a source of dreams and a promise of adventure and it still is but at the present time it's a liability. I can't survive on dreams alone.

If I had it to do over knowing what I know now, I would buy a boat in much better condition that required less work and was more immediately enjoyable.

Anyone else ever walked away?
How was your decision to buy this boat made? I am pretty sure if you had asked here, SN, SBO etc. etc. first the overwhelming reply would have been to buy a boat in the best condition you could find and to pay a little more up front.

I see this over, and over, and over and it is sad. I still don't understand it.

I even had a very, very good friend make a horrible decision despite countless hours of discussions with me about which boat to buy. He chose the "fixer upper" as it was "slightly" less money up front. Two years later and 45k in expenses he had a boat worth barely what the pristine / sail-away one would have gone for. He now has over 70k into this boat and it is worth 26k at best......

He now just keeps saying "I wish I had listened to you.".. Sadly I think this is just something some need to learn for themselves. He is "handy" thus thought he could beat the system despite my insistence that he could not with this boat.. How hard is it to work on boats after all..?

Sorry to hear of your frustrations but give it some time and you'll come back. Chalk it up to beginners luck and move on or dive in and fix her up. Study up over the winter and learn to DIY it will help financially.
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Old 03-11-2012, 12:27   #17
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

I think you will find a lot of people have been there. I am hoping on the bright side your boat's value will be worth half of what you put in it. Like someone else mentioned at least people like your model. I " sunk" thousands into a boat that nobody wants. Now I'm just trying to trade it for "WHY".
No matter what, it ain't worth loosing loved ones over.
On another note, a friend of mine told me after he lost everything in the 80's there were a lot of people smarter than him that lost everything!

maybe just shorten the list and get it in the water

Cheers
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Old 03-11-2012, 12:53   #18
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

have a good clean up and clear out of non essentials on the boat.

it can work wonders for ones moral when you have worked yourself to a standstill.

have a break,re focus,and when you go back you got a clean slate again.
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:00   #19
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

What you are going through is a learning experience, don't let it get you down, learn from it!!!!

You stated that "If you knew then, what you know now, you would do things differntly" Well, that is a start. There is a time, when enough knowlage is gained, that walking away from a progect is the right answer. It may make since to sell your boat for what ever you can, then save enough money to buy the boat that will make your dreams a reality.
Lifes lessons, do not always come cheap, the secret is learning from them and not making them again.
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:08   #20
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

Boy oh boy oh boy oh this is a tough one, because, it reaches into the soul of the person experiencing this hardship. Being all different, what would be a painful hopeless struggle for one would be an optimistic hopeful struggle for another. Personally,
I can't imagine letting a yard guy do any work on my boat. (Hey, getaway from my baby!). Sure, I'll go to a loft and buy her a new dress, but I specify every curve and fitting. I didn't spend my years building her from scratch and sailing her for 25 years without learning about her nuances and needs. It’s always tweaking her and trying your tweaking out in various situations. The boat loves it and thrills me and I love every moment whether it’s coming thru a breaking entrance (Morro Bay) or heading into a downwind slip, I know what she will do and I prefer to do it alone, I know what she will do almost instinctively.
No, I don’t know why I was never discouraged, But maybe I had a partner for the past 40 years that stood by me and regardless of her dislike for the open sea. We for the past 30 years have found paradise and live on our 20 acre undeveloped patch near the sea. I sail several time a week and she collects photos of frogs, butterflies, brides and blueberries etc..
One more point. Whether you acquire a new boat , a reconditioned boat or a fixer-upper, the work is continuous. Ya gatta luv it! Ya gotta do it yourself.
I wish I could find a huge old wooden derelict to place in my swamp under a shed and just sleep, read by lantern and dream in it…and of course i'll tinker on it ...til I can tinker no more. I am 79 years old and started sailing at 39.
Happy days,
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:17   #21
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

Can not help but ECHO atoll,there is a Poem that goes something like this ,When time's get tough as they sometimes will and the victor's road seem's all up hill rest a while if you may,but don't wait for another day.I,am in the mist of a like project even had to stop along the way for back surgery,back at it now and repeat those lines to myself occasionally.You have a Great boat.You will be back we all go back can't help it.Only you can beat yourself,personally I,don't like being beaten.Do You?
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:21   #22
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

As I see it, your boat has served two most imporant purposes:

- it was the source and subject of your dreams,

- it turned you attention to the necessity of devoting more time to your family.

And you post should be read by all prospective new/old boat buyers.

BTW From how you spelled things I think I can read that you will be back to her in the Spring, or sooner.

b.
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:23   #23
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

I am so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed and disappointed. We get that way sometimes more so because we bought a boat that no one figured would need half the work that it actually does. Some of it can be chalked up to us being kind of perfectionists, some of it to over refitting because we are sailing with kids and that drives us to be sure we really, really feel the boat is solid and sound and some of it because its easy to get hyperfocused on making the boat perfect and to lose sight of what you really need to get sailing- perfection is not necessary, soundness is!

I like the advice to take some time off but I would say to take 3 months off at a minimum. Put her on the hard in storage and do NOT read any sailing forums, blogs, magazines or how to books. Go do something. Hike the Appalachian trail for a bit- a weekend or a month whatever works for ya. Go volunteer on the East Coast for Sandy recovery. Sign up as a greenhorn ranch hand on a cattle farm. Go skydiving. Go to Chicago and follow Route 66 all the way to LA. Just go do SOMETHING that is different and adventurous and has absolutely nothing to do with sailing. I think a little bit of adventure is good for the soul and successfully completing a little adventure might be all you need to remind you that yes, you can complete a goal and you its okay to dream of adventure because you are an adventurer. Just buying a boat to cruise makes you more adventurous than 99% of the population.

Come back in 3 months and then you can start with a clear head and happy heart, realizing that getting the boat ready IS part of the journey. Hang in there.
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:25   #24
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

Some learn from others,some just have to piss on the electric fence and find out for themselves. Sorry to read your rant,been there myself.
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:31   #25
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

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Originally Posted by Dockhead View Post
Give yourself a few days to think about it before making a final decision.

And a couple of tips:

1. Knowing when to cut your losses and move on to something else is one of the rarest and most valuable things in life.

Oh, and the other:

2. What's the most important thing in life? Never, never, ever, ever, never give up.

These two things contradict each other totally, but they are both deeply true. Think about it for a few days before you decide.

I disagree with "never give up." I was born with mild CP -- but not told. I spent a lot of time trying to learn ballet, trying to be on the swim team, trying to figure skate -- all things I could NEVER accomplish no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted it -- because my body simply won't do that.

I needed to find a way to live with what really was, not what I wanted at the time. Sometimes it's time for a plan B. If others see that as "giving up," so be it, but I see it as making a new plan, and that can be a very smart thing to do.

So I went to Aspen, where the Kennedy boy who lost a leg to bone cancer went to learn to ski, and I learned to ski. I would never be a *champion* skiier, but boy did I have fun.

Now I've learned to sail. In both sports, i'm able to compensate for the things my legs simply won't do well.

I needed to give up on one dream to find a new one.

Sometimes that's the right to do, and IMO only the OP knows what's right for him.
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:31   #26
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

Yes, I've considered chainsawing or sawzalling the hull and dragging it out of my yard. I haven't done it because it doesn't cost me anything to let it sit for awhile until I renew my engergy.
If you do decide to walk away then start looking for sailors who will buy a project because they haven't learned the lesson you've learned. Their mind is made up so you might as well be the one who fulfills their dream.
Make certain that whatever storage area you have for your boat is clean and has no overhanging trees so that nothing can clog drains and let water or snow in to make your project go backward.
I met a really good rigger just a couple of weeks ago. He was the most helpful individual I'd ever run across in the marine business. He would say quite often, "you can do this, you don't need to pay the yard, just go to West Marine and get this part and install it yourself." He earned every bit of his wages and helped many customers cut their costs. I know there are good ones so don't be skeptical of all.
Good luck in whatever direction you choose to go.
I'll get back to my project sometime this month but I must because it is in my yard and I can't ignore it.
kind regards,
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:45   #27
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

BTW If any advice is sought then mine is make a list of jobs and take on ONE ITEM AT A TIME.

I am very often overwhelmed by the list of the do does.

Sometimes seeing the whole picture ... is not such a great view. ;-)

b.
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:50   #28
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

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Originally Posted by SkiprJohn View Post
I met a really good rigger just a couple of weeks ago. He was the most helpful individual I'd ever run across in the marine business. He would say quite often, "you can do this, you don't need to pay the yard, just go to West Marine and get this part and install it yourself." He earned every bit of his wages and helped many customers cut their costs. I know there are good ones so don't be skeptical of all.
Good luck in whatever direction you choose to go.
I'll get back to my project sometime this month but I must because it is in my yard and I can't ignore it.
kind regards,
Good words to live by. My impression is that about a third of the people that work on boats can't be trusted, but there are people out there that are really good. I do almost everything myself because I have a hard time telling the good from the bad contractors.
And yeah- I've had to trash a boat before. It was my first big one (sound familiar?) I was just too naive when I bought it. Sold it off for parts and the lead in its keel. Learned a lot. So will you in whatever way you go.
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:52   #29
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

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Originally Posted by SkiprJohn View Post
Yes, I've considered chainsawing or sawzalling the hull and dragging it out of my yard. I haven't done it because it doesn't cost me anything to let it sit for awhile until I renew my engergy.
If you do decide to walk away then start looking for sailors who will buy a project because they haven't learned the lesson you've learned. Their mind is made up so you might as well be the one who fulfills their dream.
Make certain that whatever storage area you have for your boat is clean and has no overhanging trees so that nothing can clog drains and let water or snow in to make your project go backward.
I met a really good rigger just a couple of weeks ago. He was the most helpful individual I'd ever run across in the marine business. He would say quite often, "you can do this, you don't need to pay the yard, just go to West Marine and get this part and install it yourself." He earned every bit of his wages and helped many customers cut their costs. I know there are good ones so don't be skeptical of all.
Good luck in whatever direction you choose to go.
I'll get back to my project sometime this month but I must because it is in my yard and I can't ignore it.
kind regards,

The biggest frustration I had with owning sailboats, as a woman who had very little experience with tools etc., was finding someone I could count on to do the jobs right.

I, too, nearly walked away from my boat (by selling it) before finally finding a network of dependable, affordable people. Now I've learned enough that I can barter some things, but ... it's a long haul, and it gets very rough and hard and takes you to a dark place when you can't find someone dependable to do the work you can't do.
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Old 03-11-2012, 13:54   #30
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Re: I'm walking away from my boat.

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Good words to live by. My impression is that about a third of the people that work on boats can't be trusted, but there are people out there that are really good. I do almost everything myself because I have a hard time telling the good from the bad contractors.
And yeah- I've had to trash a boat before. It was my first big one (sound familiar?) I was just too naive when I bought it. Sold it off for parts and the lead in its keel. Learned a lot. So will you in whatever way you go.

For me it's been more like 3/4 can't be trusted. The absolute nadir was the yard that replaced my propeller strut, putting it on crooked. But when the foreman discovered it the next day it was OK ... because they had used the wrong bedding compound -- it was easily moved!

I could go on and on and on.
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