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Old 14-09-2007, 17:56   #31
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setting fire to him. Extreme circumstances call for extreme measures, or so he thought. However Tosser decided he really wasn't THAT cold and.....
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Old 14-09-2007, 19:57   #32
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proceded to "Stop, Drop, Roll" which is of course where those "dogy" comands first came from, and are now taught to all of our children if they ever happen to catch on fire. The other amazing thing that tosser has taught the world is.....
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Old 15-09-2007, 05:02   #33
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Is that sailors with nicknames like Crusty should never be trusted and his first instincts when he saw Crusty laying in the gutter on thier first encounter, of biting off his .....
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Old 15-09-2007, 07:48   #34
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Prison clothes, yes crusty kept tossers secret that he had escaped from the joint only days before and was on the run. Tosser was at the end of his rope when crusty took him in and hid him. Thats when tosser told crusty of the terrible things they did to him in prison, like the time he was in the shower and they tried to.........
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Old 15-09-2007, 10:36   #35
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soap him up. But the lather wouldn't take with all his kinky, stiff hair. It just knotted up and left the others with blisters on their hands.

But That made it EZ to escape! With the knotted hair and a bit of soap he was able to squeeze out thru a big drain pipe in the floor to the river below. From there, he..........
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Unprepared boaters, end up as floatsum!.......
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Old 15-09-2007, 15:14   #36
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broke into song!

Cheer Cheer Lift Your Beer
Let's Drink To The Pirates That Had No Fear
Give Me A B*tch Who Tastes Like Rum
Or Put Me Ashore To Die!

Anyhow, finding "Plan B" (Crusty's trusty tender) Tosser rows out to the "Antelope" (Crusty's trusty sloop) and retrieves a small keg of powder and fuse. Rowing back under the cover of night Tosser places the charge against the already crumbling walls of the ancient prison where Crusty was being held. A quick strike of his Dirk against a flint and the fuse was lit. Tosser retreats to the relative safety of "Plan B" when all of a sudden...........
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Old 15-09-2007, 21:21   #37
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Sharky the sadistic prison guard sneaks up behind him and in a very loud voice shouts.....
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Old 16-09-2007, 06:18   #38
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Hey don't I know you? I am sure I know you, yes yes now I remember. You are the madam who used to run that cathouse in Trinidad. That's when Tosser realized the guard was just out of a bar and so drunk he didnt know where he was, so tosser without hesitation..........
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Old 16-09-2007, 10:32   #39
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slapped him on the back and gave him a chew stick which the guard thought was jerky.

So, Tosser beat tail out of there and headed for the aberdeen. And on the Eastfork he took up shelter in a whore house. And this is where this story starts.

But now with theses two together the adventures began. The first sail was South and around Malaysia and back up to Bangkok where they...................
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Old 16-09-2007, 20:51   #40
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they took on a third crew. Her name was Olga a real beauty, with legs that never stopped and a body that talked to you. She could never get a respectable job because she suffered from turrets syndrome. How she ended up with Crusty and Tosser is a story by itself. One night in a sailor's bar in Bangkok ......
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Old 17-09-2007, 01:23   #41
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the phone rang......
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Old 17-09-2007, 01:24   #42
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and rang......
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Old 17-09-2007, 01:24   #43
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and rang........
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Old 17-09-2007, 07:04   #44
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finally the bartender wanders over and answers the phone.

Bartender: "Waddya ya want?"

Voice on phone: "Is Crusty Stackpole there?"

Bartender: "Is there a Crusty Stacked Pool here?"

A brief silence wafts over the bar patrons.

Bartender: "Crusty Stacked Pooch! Telephone dammit!"

No one answers.

Bartender on phone: "No Cursty Poolstack here!"

Voice on phone: "Well you tell him when you see him his ex-wife.." *Click*

At that moment a highly inebriated Crusty manages to lift his head off the table to gaze across the table at Olga.

Crusty: "Did you call my name darlin'?"

Olga: "No you drunken ole' fool that was the bartender".

Crusty: "Ahhhhhhh!" "Is it time for another lil' drinky pooh?" "Tarbender, another round!"

Bartender: "Yeah yeah when you pay your tab ya deadbeat!" "You already owe me 15 thousand baht for the champagne!!!"

Crusty: "Champagne?" "I didn't drink no stinkin' champagne!"

Bartender: "Not you ya drunken ole' fart!" "Your painted dolly girlfriend and that mangy tripod dog!" "They drank the house dry of bubbly while you were passed out!"

Crusty: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh .........
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Old 17-09-2007, 09:22   #45
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Ahhhhhhhhhhhh........I see....well then...if there's no panchane left then RUM!!!...gimmee rum....rum I say....bottles and bottles of good dark hard RUM!!! At the sound of that magic word Tosser lifts his mangy old head back and howls the howl of a .........
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