Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 28-05-2012, 12:47   #1
Registered User
 
sy_gilana's Avatar

Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: On board
Boat: Van de Stadt 50'
Posts: 1,101
Send a message via Skype™ to sy_gilana
Overheard on the VHF

anonymous boat 1: "Is it full moon tonight?"
anonymous boat 2: "No, the sun's still up you dumb jerk!"
__________________

__________________
Tight sheets to ya.
http://gilana.org
sy_gilana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-05-2012, 13:50   #2
Senior Cruiser
 
Blue Stocking's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Georges, Bda
Boat: Rhodes Reliant 41ft
Posts: 4,115
Re: Overheard on the VHF

True story,honest.

Jimmy was fishing down on the Challenger Bank, 10 miles SW of Bermuda.
AGC fuse blew in the start circuit,so he called Harbour Radio for help.
Mates in the yard heard the call, and told him to go up to Ch 68.
We are all listening now, Jimmy and Bruce discuss the problem with Harbour Radio.
After much discussion Bruce says "Bye', you still smokin them Camels?"
Jimmy says "Yah!".
Bruce says "Roll up the silver foil, and make a fuse"
Jimmy calls in a few minutes and says " Bruce, I'm on the way in, bye', don't stop watching McGiver, see".
__________________

__________________
so many projects--so little time !!
Blue Stocking is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 28-05-2012, 21:56   #3
Registered User
 
Celestialsailor's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: In Mexico, working on the boat
Boat: Hallberg Rassy 35. and 14ft.Whitehall pulling skiff.
Posts: 8,013
Images: 5
Re: Overheard on the VHF

Boat1...Radio check 16
Return...Loud and clear
Boat1...Can you tell me what time it is?
Return...You mean now???
...radio silence
__________________
"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: Wow - what a ride!"

http://wwwjolielle.blogspot.com/
Celestialsailor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-06-2012, 16:00   #4
Registered User

Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,441
Re: Overheard on the VHF

Years ago, with my own ears, (otherwise I would not believe it) heard a fishing boat call up the local port radio 'tower' saying they were disabled and needed a tow.

The first few salvos of the exchange are seared in my memory:

Where are you?
About five mile off
Off what?
Offshore
(patiently) How far from port?
About an hour
Where are you in relation to Godley Head?
Godley what?
The lighthouse halfway up a cliff
Oh .... It's over there (presumably pointing)

(long pause ...
... now evidently making supreme efforts in the direction of patience) What bearing?

Bearing?
Compass angle

(I forget the exact words from this point but the first bearing he reported turned out to be the ship's head, the second was geographically impossible (and so was the reciprocal), the distinction between Mag vs True was evidently a novel concept etc etc...

I wonder if Darwin has clutched this fellow to his bosom at some early opportunity, or whether he swallowed the anchor and found some more appropriate outlet for his talents .... like, say ..... wheel clamping.
__________________
Andrew Troup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-06-2012, 16:10   #5
Do… or do not
 
s/v Jedi's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: in paradise
Boat: Sundeer 64
Posts: 9,198
Re: Overheard on the VHF

Me being called by *bleep* on local cruisers channel 74 :

"Jedi, Jedi, this is *bleep*"

"Hello *bleep*, switch 72

-silence-

"Jedi, Jedi, this is *bleep*"

"Hello *bleep*, switch 72

"I can't go there, 66A is my channel"

"Well, that is unfortunate, Jedi out"

-silence-

"Jedi, Jedi, this is *bleep*"

-silence-



cheers,
Nick.
__________________
s/v Jedi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-06-2012, 16:22   #6
Senior Cruiser
 
atoll's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: gettin naughty on the beach in cornwall
Boat: 63 custom alloy sloop,macwester26,prout snowgoose 37 elite catamaran!
Posts: 9,311
Images: 75
Re: Overheard on the VHF

__________________
my catamaran building project updates http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...36#post2502136
atoll is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-06-2012, 16:28   #7
Senior Cruiser
 
atoll's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: gettin naughty on the beach in cornwall
Boat: 63 custom alloy sloop,macwester26,prout snowgoose 37 elite catamaran!
Posts: 9,311
Images: 75
Re: Overheard on the VHF

This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation of a British
Naval ship and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 95. Radio
conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations. 10 - 10 - 95:

IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a
collision.

BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to
avoid a collision.

IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the
South to avoid a collision.

BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British navy ship. I say again, divert
YOUR course.

IRISH: Negative. I say again, You will have to divert your course.

BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS xxxxxxxxx. THE SECOND LARGEST
SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE
DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT
YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES
NORTH, OR COUNTER- MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF
THIS SHIP.

IRISH: We are a lighthouse. Your call.
__________________
my catamaran building project updates http://www.cruisersforum.com/forums/...36#post2502136
atoll is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-06-2012, 16:39   #8
Senior Cruiser
 
Blue Stocking's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Georges, Bda
Boat: Rhodes Reliant 41ft
Posts: 4,115
Re: Overheard on the VHF

'arbour radio,'arbour radio, dis is tarapy (Therapy)-can you see me?
Vessel calling, cannot understand name, please repeat.
'arbour radio, 'arbour radio--can you see me
Vessell calling etc

2 more attempts--no luck

Radio operator: Vessel calling, please look over your stern, and spell your name.

after a few minutes-- a'cant spell--eets letters is upside down"

Honest!!
__________________
so many projects--so little time !!
Blue Stocking is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-06-2012, 16:42   #9
Registered User
 
john540's Avatar

Join Date: May 2008
Location: Paradise Cay
Boat: Hylas 47
Posts: 167
Re: Overheard on the VHF

I was flying a small airplane one evening and had the following conversation:

Them:Aircraft in the pattern, how's the weather up there?

Me: Um, it looks fine?

Them: I was about to take off, but I was worried that there might be clouds you can't see.

Me: I haven't seen any clouds I couldn't see!
__________________
john540 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 27-06-2012, 17:06   #10
Senior Cruiser
 
SkiprJohn's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2006
Location: Kea'au, Big Island, Hawaii
Boat: Cascade, Sloop, 42 - "Casual"
Posts: 14,192
Re: Overheard on the VHF

Atoll,
I'm glad you corrected the HMS vs USS. Makes it more believable.
Just kidding!!!
kind regards from retired U. S. Navy here,
__________________

__________________
John
SkiprJohn is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
vhf

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 18:18.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.