Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 24-07-2016, 13:30   #1
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 121
When I build a boat...

  1. I propose preposterous, one-sided contracts that no sensible person would ever sign - to test your intelligence. I like to know who I am dealing with.
  2. I never follow equipment manufacturer's installation instructions as they are a waste of time and warranties are not important - damaged marine equipment is cheap to replace, after all you can afford my boats.
  3. I request payments outside contractual obligations because I believe I deserve them.
  4. I never seal hatches as my boats never have water in them.
  5. I prefer to have plumbing leaks in my galley so when water is dripping through the boat, you know the freshwater tanks are still topped up.
  6. I wire some of my light switches upside down to indicate port and starboard.
  7. I install my stopcocks so that their handles protrude above floor hatches meaning the hatches cannot close. This way you can easily know if they have been left open or closed.
  8. I always ensure there are leaks in the engine rooms so you know the bilges are working.
  9. I offer my daybed conversion pedestals with a modified personal workout customization. That way you need to climb under the table and struggle for 20min if you want to lower or raise the saloon table. Great chest, tricep and persistence workout on long passages.
  10. I wire my windlass so that up is down and down is up, in case you end up upside down during rough seas.
  11. I repeatedly will insist on 16mm sheets for the genoa, but only install 14mm clutches - this helps with additional resistance on the sheets.
  12. I install my clutches with a 40* angle to the winch when installation instructions specify max of 10*. This helps with additional tension and grip.
  13. I install the heads so that black water will slowly drip back into the toilet bowl. It's important to know not only the state or your own bowels, but your crew mates too.
  14. I like to leave the fall in showers leaning to a side with no drainage. So you can easily verify who is using the most freshwater when at sea.
  15. I install the main cupboards in the cabins and heads with magnetic catches that cannot close - unless locked using flimsy keys. That way it's quick to access stored items.
  16. I run my fridges in super-eco mode. This involves only wiring power to the fridge lights and not the compressors. Convenient as extra cupboards.
  17. I position my stern light within the cockpit canopy so only you on the boat can conveniently see if it's on. After all, you are more important to me than other vessels.
  18. I keep my calorifiers on max so you can use scalding hot water anywhere on the boat to instantly boil pasta - especially in the showers.
  19. I like to wire my deck lights to my steaming lights for extra brightness.
  20. I position my steaming lights shining directly down onto the deck to double as a deck light.
  21. I configure your genset to push out maximum volts and lower frequency to test the inverter cuts out when under or overloaded.
  22. I purposefully do not clean the boat at handover so you can get to know the boat inside out and can test all drainage points yourself.
  23. I don't have drainage in the ice bucket cutouts so that ice water can collect and be reused for drinking water.
  24. I use smaller diameter, lower spec electrical wiring to ensure you can find the same at any corner convenience store around the world.
  25. I connect all my raw water inlets for equipment supply to a thru-hull. Less holes are more important than caring for expensive equipment and melodramatic installation specifications.
  26. I install my throttle gear levers chafing against the hull. This make it feel more torquey.
  27. I don't supply anchor bridles. Catamarans don't need them - the hulls can guide the chain.
  28. I install lazaret lockers locks upside down so they don't lock. This provides quicker access in rough seas.
  29. I install my winch fuses centered in the galley so you can conveniently access them once a year.
  30. I install super energy efficient air conditioners - they don’t run or you can opt for the cutout after 10 minutes mode.
  31. I install cockpit and saloon lights in the ceiling that can only be switched on or off by reaching up and touching them - no switches. This ensures children or short people don't waste power by using the lights without a responsible, tall adult around.
  32. I install trampolines with differently joined panels on each side. That way you know which side starboard and port are.
  33. I install equipment without any software updates. New updates just means new bugs.
  34. I don't install lights at the sugar scoop steps. This is a safety feature to deter would be robbers from trying to use steps in the dark.
  35. I remove the windlass cover permanently. It's better to have the internal elements exposed so you can see they not being damaged.
  36. I install leaking gas to test the gas detection works.
  37. I don't connect the ultrasonic tank sensors to the relevant display. A real sailor just knows how much fuel and freshwater they have.
  38. I always leave screws trapped under the sink. In case you need extra.
  39. I always leave lots of paint marks over the Windows. That way, people will always assume the boat was just finished and is new.
  40. I always take my time to complete, double the contract time. Good things come to those who wait.
__________________

__________________
EvilRabbit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-07-2016, 14:31   #2
Registered User
 
Delancey's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: nondum cognita
Boat: sailboat
Posts: 3,357
Re: When I build a boat...

My wife and I have been shopping new catamarans, what are your current lead times?
__________________

__________________
Delancey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-07-2016, 22:55   #3
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 121
Re: When I build a boat...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Delancey View Post
My wife and I have been shopping new catamarans, what are your current lead times?
Perfect, delivery is two months from signature.
__________________
EvilRabbit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26-07-2016, 08:12   #4
Resin Head
 
minaret's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Seattle WA
Boat: Nauticat
Posts: 7,109
Images: 52
Re: When I build a boat...

Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilRabbit View Post
  1. I propose preposterous, one-sided contracts that no sensible person would ever sign - to test your intelligence. I like to know who I am dealing with.
  2. I never follow equipment manufacturer's installation instructions as they are a waste of time and warranties are not important - damaged marine equipment is cheap to replace, after all you can afford my boats.
  3. I request payments outside contractual obligations because I believe I deserve them.
  4. I never seal hatches as my boats never have water in them.
  5. I prefer to have plumbing leaks in my galley so when water is dripping through the boat, you know the freshwater tanks are still topped up.
  6. I wire some of my light switches upside down to indicate port and starboard.
  7. I install my stopcocks so that their handles protrude above floor hatches meaning the hatches cannot close. This way you can easily know if they have been left open or closed.
  8. I always ensure there are leaks in the engine rooms so you know the bilges are working.
  9. I offer my daybed conversion pedestals with a modified personal workout customization. That way you need to climb under the table and struggle for 20min if you want to lower or raise the saloon table. Great chest, tricep and persistence workout on long passages.
  10. I wire my windlass so that up is down and down is up, in case you end up upside down during rough seas.
  11. I repeatedly will insist on 16mm sheets for the genoa, but only install 14mm clutches - this helps with additional resistance on the sheets.
  12. I install my clutches with a 40* angle to the winch when installation instructions specify max of 10*. This helps with additional tension and grip.
  13. I install the heads so that black water will slowly drip back into the toilet bowl. It's important to know not only the state or your own bowels, but your crew mates too.
  14. I like to leave the fall in showers leaning to a side with no drainage. So you can easily verify who is using the most freshwater when at sea.
  15. I install the main cupboards in the cabins and heads with magnetic catches that cannot close - unless locked using flimsy keys. That way it's quick to access stored items.
  16. I run my fridges in super-eco mode. This involves only wiring power to the fridge lights and not the compressors. Convenient as extra cupboards.
  17. I position my stern light within the cockpit canopy so only you on the boat can conveniently see if it's on. After all, you are more important to me than other vessels.
  18. I keep my calorifiers on max so you can use scalding hot water anywhere on the boat to instantly boil pasta - especially in the showers.
  19. I like to wire my deck lights to my steaming lights for extra brightness.
  20. I position my steaming lights shining directly down onto the deck to double as a deck light.
  21. I configure your genset to push out maximum volts and lower frequency to test the inverter cuts out when under or overloaded.
  22. I purposefully do not clean the boat at handover so you can get to know the boat inside out and can test all drainage points yourself.
  23. I don't have drainage in the ice bucket cutouts so that ice water can collect and be reused for drinking water.
  24. I use smaller diameter, lower spec electrical wiring to ensure you can find the same at any corner convenience store around the world.
  25. I connect all my raw water inlets for equipment supply to a thru-hull. Less holes are more important than caring for expensive equipment and melodramatic installation specifications.
  26. I install my throttle gear levers chafing against the hull. This make it feel more torquey.
  27. I don't supply anchor bridles. Catamarans don't need them - the hulls can guide the chain.
  28. I install lazaret lockers locks upside down so they don't lock. This provides quicker access in rough seas.
  29. I install my winch fuses centered in the galley so you can conveniently access them once a year.
  30. I install super energy efficient air conditioners - they donít run or you can opt for the cutout after 10 minutes mode.
  31. I install cockpit and saloon lights in the ceiling that can only be switched on or off by reaching up and touching them - no switches. This ensures children or short people don't waste power by using the lights without a responsible, tall adult around.
  32. I install trampolines with differently joined panels on each side. That way you know which side starboard and port are.
  33. I install equipment without any software updates. New updates just means new bugs.
  34. I don't install lights at the sugar scoop steps. This is a safety feature to deter would be robbers from trying to use steps in the dark.
  35. I remove the windlass cover permanently. It's better to have the internal elements exposed so you can see they not being damaged.
  36. I install leaking gas to test the gas detection works.
  37. I don't connect the ultrasonic tank sensors to the relevant display. A real sailor just knows how much fuel and freshwater they have.
  38. I always leave screws trapped under the sink. In case you need extra.
  39. I always leave lots of paint marks over the Windows. That way, people will always assume the boat was just finished and is new.
  40. I always take my time to complete, double the contract time. Good things come to those who wait.



This all sounds pretty standard these days. What'd you have to pay to get the structural problems too?
__________________
O you who turn the wheel and look to windward,

Consider Phlebas, who was once handsome and tall as you.
minaret is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26-07-2016, 08:17   #5
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 121
Re: When I build a boat...

Quote:
Originally Posted by minaret View Post
This all sounds pretty standard these days. What'd you have to pay to get the structural problems too?
That's the "cruise" package. I just add it and invoice before quoting - less headache for you
__________________
EvilRabbit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26-07-2016, 08:53   #6
Registered User
 
UNCIVILIZED's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Up the mast, looking for clean wind.
Boat: Currently Shopping, & Heavily in LUST!
Posts: 4,931
Re: When I build a boat...

If a roll of Duct Tape, & some 5-minute Epoxy are included in the purchase price, I'll take one
__________________

The Uncommon Thing, The Hard Thing, The Important Thing (in Life): Making Promises to Yourself, And Keeping Them.
UNCIVILIZED is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 26-07-2016, 09:03   #7
Registered User

Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 121
Re: When I build a boat...

Quote:
Originally Posted by UNCIVILIZED View Post
If a roll of Duct Tape, & some 5-minute Epoxy are included in the purchase price, I'll take one
I normally don't negotiate quality, but will do half a roll and 15min epoxy - you supply the epoxy container.
__________________
EvilRabbit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26-07-2016, 11:41   #8
Registered User
 
UNCIVILIZED's Avatar

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Up the mast, looking for clean wind.
Boat: Currently Shopping, & Heavily in LUST!
Posts: 4,931
Re: When I build a boat...

Quote:
Originally Posted by EvilRabbit View Post
I normally don't negotiate quality, but will do half a roll and 15min epoxy - you supply the epoxy container.
Throw in a Go Pro Hero so that I can record all of the stupid crap we do with the boat, for your promo commercials, & I think it'll work.

Oh, and I'll bring a couple of empty Copenhagen chewing tobacco cans for the epoxy.
__________________

The Uncommon Thing, The Hard Thing, The Important Thing (in Life): Making Promises to Yourself, And Keeping Them.
UNCIVILIZED is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 26-07-2016, 12:59   #9
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: between the devil and the deep blue sea
Boat: a sailing boat
Posts: 16,829
Re: When I build a boat...

Great write-up.

I think I must have sailed more than one boat you have built!

b.
__________________

__________________
barnakiel is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Need a Place to Build a Boat littlerie Construction, Maintenance & Refit 9 29-12-2009 12:27
They Have started t0 build my boat Gludy Multihull Sailboats 6 15-09-2008 13:23
What to build, what to build... Pura Vida Multihull Sailboats 67 19-05-2008 06:44
I want to build this boat desertmonk Meets & Greets 6 06-05-2008 15:41
Saw our boat being build nancynana Meets & Greets 5 22-11-2007 23:21


Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 13:44.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.