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Old 30-09-2005, 04:40   #16
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Boat: 2004 Manta 42 - Perseverance
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Thanks for the advice. Only problem is that my husband is the worst teacher on the planet - he doesn't yell or anything, he just can't explain what he knows. But I'll keep at it till I get it (our boat isn't named Perseverance for nothing!).

Hope to see you on the way south. We are leaving Annapolis right after the boat show (mid Oct). Try to make the Southbound Cruiser's Reunion in New Bern, NC on Halloween weekend. There should be several of us cat owners there. What's your Manta's name?

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Old 30-09-2005, 12:59   #17
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The best way I can think of to learn...


It seems you have plenty of initial experience, having lived aboard and chartered (if I read your post right).

Years ago, I virtually learned to sail "by the seat of my pants", and then kept reading. It certainly sounds like you know enough to head up into the wind to set the main and how to get your jib drawing, and how to trim your sales to a basic degree.

In other words, you know enough to get started, and the best way to learn from there is to just do it. If that means taking your husband out, but prohibiting him from doing anything until you ask him or are in trouble, great. If that means going out by yourself and finding another sailor to go along just to help with docking, that's OK too.

By the way, if you can manage it, the absolutely best way to learn is to go BY YOURSELF. I made lots and lots of minor mistakes, but it was a lot easier to learn from them when a) No one was there to make me feel self-conscious about my mistake; b) I would try things alone that I wouldn't try with someone else on board "I wonder what happens when I back-wind the jib? or OH! THAT's why they say to be careful jibing!" c) Its a lot easier to learn when someone isn't talking to you. d) Its a lot easier to learn when you notice something slightly wrong, and you tweak around with it yourself 'till you get it right.

Otherwise, it's like someone doing your homework for you - the job gets done, but you never really figure out how to do it yourself.

By the way, now that my wife has gotten to the point that she likes being on the helm, I've found she's a better sailor than I am! She's also a lot better navigator! What can I say, I'm a very fortunate man...

Fair Winds,


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Old 10-04-2006, 09:52   #18
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Multihills are a little different to sail. I would recommend thinking classes involving monohulls as they respond more dramatically to conditions. That way you will have an idea of what stresses are really on your boat. They both work on the same principle...but you can't "feel" the boats the same...the multihulls can trick ya' with that easy ride.
I, too, once looked for other women to learn to sail with, and I also found that most captains aren't good teachers. (No offense to the great captains out there). I am currently teaching my husband to sail. I'm afraid that I am in the "no damn good at teaching" category. He's a great power boat handler so I count on him for times when our trimaran is under power going under bridges, etc. I think he would learn more if he took an independent class with others! I am sure he would be interested in joining up with a class of ladies!
I've had a boat of one kind or another for many years. The most surprising and disappointing thing I found is that I could never talk my girlfriends into joining me other than an occasional trip to waterfront bar. It does my heart good to hear of other ladies wanting to sail. You probably know much more than you think you do. And I figure that sailing is like can learn the basics enough to play in a fairly short time but it takes a lifetime to perfect the game.
Best of luck to you...
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Old 05-05-2006, 09:21   #19
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What my wife and I do is alternate being captian for the day, on the days she is in charge I do nothing until she tells me what to do, this seems to work quite well for us.
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Old 05-05-2006, 12:27   #20
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IMHO a husband should never try to teach his wife (and vice-versa). The familiarity will expose the worst in both peoples natures.
"Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors - and miss."
Robert A Heinlein
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Old 05-05-2006, 21:03   #21
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IMHO I believe that if a husband wants to teach his wife on how to sail. He should be flexible. And not a Captain Bly. He should never chew his wifes head off, if she makes a mistake.

The husband should be already make the certain allowances that mistakes could fall into place, ahead of time. Due to the wife learning the neccessary skills.

That's my two cents there!!

"Those who desire to give up Freedom in order to gain security, will not have, nor do they deserve, either one." - Benjamin Franklin
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Old 06-05-2006, 08:40   #22
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Hi Harriet,
If you ever make it down to South Florida in the fall, feel free to email/look me up. I'll be in the area after get back from the Bahamas (depending on this year's storm season) and would be happy to share with you for some social fun and learning on my trimaran. Though I'm not a pro., I used to volunteer teaching sailing to students and would give them rides on the tri' and they loved it. It's always nice to sail and socialize with other ladies- there's no attitude or arrogance to deal with and it's just pure fun. The trimaran is a daysailer, but shows people the in-your-face basics and establishes a foundation for further learning.

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