It seems you have plenty of initial experience, having lived aboard and chartered (if I read your post right).
Years ago, I virtually learned to sail "by the seat of my pants", and then kept reading. It certainly sounds like you know enough to head
up into the wind
to set the main and how to get your jib
drawing, and how to trim your sales to a basic degree.
In other words, you know enough to get started, and the best way to learn from there is to just do it. If that means taking your husband out, but prohibiting him from doing anything until you ask him or are in trouble, great. If that means going out by yourself and finding another sailor to go along just to help with docking
, that's OK too.
By the way, if you can manage it, the absolutely best way to learn is to go BY YOURSELF. I made lots and lots of minor mistakes
, but it was a lot easier to learn from them when a) No one was there to make me feel self-conscious about my mistake; b) I would try things alone that I wouldn't try with someone else on board "I wonder what happens when I back-wind the jib
? or OH! THAT's why they say to be careful jibing!" c) Its a lot easier to learn when someone isn't talking to you. d) Its a lot easier to learn when you notice something slightly wrong, and you tweak around with it yourself 'till you get it right.
Otherwise, it's like someone doing your homework for you - the job gets done, but you never really figure out how to do it yourself.
By the way, now that my wife has gotten to the point that she likes being on the helm
, I've found she's a better sailor than I am! She's also a lot better navigator! What can I say, I'm a very fortunate man...