What Best Suits a Wife on a Catamaran?

[wambam]

No. .. this is NOT a troll.
I have a dear friend who listens to me goin' on and on about how great it is to live aboard a Catamaran (in my case a Catalac 9M).

Now he is seriously considering buying one ( A similar Catalac 9 but is swinging between that and a Prout Quest 33. But that will be a different post shortly ).

Anyway, one of his problems (which does not apply to me) is as follows:
His wife is really freaking out about her living aboard for any length of time. He asks me how to swing her over to a trial period. How would I know?

So I put it to those of you (prob. Old Salts) who have had enough experience in this field. What is your consensus on the needs of a woman on board.

hmmm. . . I think I might have phrased that somewhat not quite right.

What conditions would y'all consider to be helpful to enable a woman to feel she is going to really enjoy living aboard a reasonably small Catamaran such as a Catalac or Quest 33 ?

Tryin' to think - would she need hanging space for clothes (or for hanging her husband if she loses it ?).
Would she need a shower installed? What if she likes to take a bath and not a shower ? What would she do then, in such a small boat?

How would cooking in a confined space grab her? The list goes on and on. I am talking about on the hook or blue water.

I told my friend I would hit on you guys for advice (or you gals who have already gone down that road).

Maybe there is a book for men in such a dilemma.

Anyway - please tell me of your experiences in this area, of which I have not the slightest knowledge. To me this is a very deep hole.

[SVRapture40]

The first and foremost need is that she *wants* to live on a boat (which you have stated that she does not). Living on a boat is not easy and if a person's heart is not in it to start, it will only go downhill from there. Start with some sailing weekends and see if she catches the bug.

[Lake-Effect]

The hurdles are:
- does your wife like boating and boats?
- does your wife like boating with YOU? (can you get along, afloat? Some jolly husbands turn into Dennis Conner and/or Capt Bligh as soon as they're on the water, which turns the wife RIGHT OFF sailing)
- does your wife enjoy and look forward to weekend or weeklong cruises? How about extended cruise (eg one or two months)?

Your friend can test it out by chartering a cat for a week or two. I wouldn't make any boat purchase til the wife has committed to the project, and is actively involved in searching and inspecting the candidate boats.

(My wife actively enjoys the boat, takes part in planning and sailing, and is a partner in our boating adventures, not just a tagalong. It seems this doesn't happen that often, so I'm pretty lucky)

[sy_gilana]

Automatic washing machine and a watermaker to feed it MUST be on top of the list.

[Nicholson58]

Charter somewhere really nice like Abaco (bare boat) or, big time, Bitter End Yacht Club in Virgin Gorda.

[Cuttyhunk]

Does she like the outdoors?

Ever gone camping? Even if she doesn't like camping much (I don't), she could still like living aboard. But if she does like camping, that is a good sign.

Could she be reluctant because she is not confident in your friend's sailing abilities?

A shower is a must.

Cooking ability and enjoyment of it is also a good thing.

Basically, if she has an adventuresome spirit, she might be willing to give it a try. Otherwise, your friend is unlikely to succeed.

I got a good price on my first real cruising boat from a couple who were either getting rid of the boat or getting divorced. Lots of that kind of boat for sale out there. Best to figure that out before you sink your money in a boat!

[wambam]

Yeah - thanks all for replies. I guess he should give her a recap on their honeymoon with a couple short charters included. Could be it's the "unknown" which is spooking her.

As far as I know she has never set foot on board a small boat. Take care, all

[Boracay]

It may be heresy but is it possible that for the same amount of money a larger monohull could be brought that would be much more comfortable to live on?

If the concern is showers then a marina berth may be the solution, communication can be by phone, Facebook or even Twitter.

My general observation is that women do enjoy the social aspects and prestige of yachting.

Expecting a wife to enjoy the more esoteric pleasure of a small catamaran may be getting a little to close to the edge of the envelope.

[stevensc]

If he has to try hard to convince her he may regret it soon!
Steve W

[Nikki S]

My life aboard is wonderful If my man helps with the cooking and cleaning and doesn't expect me to do it all, while he attends to "the important stuff" up on deck (like his beer and the sunset). I get grumpy when I'm below doing the dishes and putting the kids to bed, on my own.

[Tellie]

I find for the most part that the most detrimental thing to the Admirals boating and cruising pleasure is the Captain.

[carlylelk]

If he thinks there will be a problem, there already is. I've seen too many couples where one is bitten and the other is running for home. There is no convincing the other (man or woman) if they don't have the "bug". You either love it or you don't.

There is an exchange involved: sunsets vs. hot showers; comfortable recliners and big screen TV's vs sundowners with new friends; comfortable and familiar vs. new and exciting.

Good luck.

[goboatingnow]

Wambam, my wife started out exactly like yours. No experience of boats and completely against the ideas of staying on boats.

Firstly if you value your marriage , then don't force the issue.

Take it real slow , if she likes foreign places and sun , islands etc , considering chartering , sail in very beign , virtually boring conditions etc. see if that builds her interest , day sail your boat , ensure she has the things she values on board make sure you end with a nice meal etc. you can to show her that boating is enjoyable for her.

Then as her confidence builds , do more and more , but remember little steps

Then you will arrive at a clear understanding of what view your wife will take, she may never take to the boat , in which case you have a clear decision

She made decide she can live on it for short or long periods , but doesn't like sailing or maybe only fair weather sailing or just day sails. You will have to adjust your horizons appropriately. I'm a sailing fanatic , but no boat is worth abandoning the love of a good women.

In my case , I realised , my wife will never cross oceans with me , she simply has no interest , but she facilities my sailing other people's boats to do it. She will sail on short trips (. 1-3 days ) in warm weather and loves " living" on a boat, particularly in warm foreign climates . That's enough for me. I can virtually day sail round the med with her , and do the offshore hairy armed stuff with my crazy sailing friends. She now often drags me to the boat in summer. !!. But the whole period took close to 10 years. !!

Step by step, then you will appreciate her position, that's it, adjust your horizons accordingly. If she baulks at any stage , suspend the progression , that may be as far as it goes.

What ever you do don't force it, that's a recipe for massive trouble and sometimes heartbreak. You simply may not have someone who finds any appeal on the activity. You will have to live with that.

Note unlike some who believe it , women can't be " bribed " onboard. No amount of washing machines etc will compensate for a mis match of dreams. It merely delays , and not buy a lot , the problems.

Dave

[boatman61]

ME....
Happy New Year...

[Nikki S]

Boys, if you did the washing we girls wouldn't even want washing machines- they would simply be an unnecessary boy toy..... Do you know what I'm sayin? A lady's needs are not really about mod-cons, they are about "understanding, listening, cooperation, team work, and communication (and also no verbal communication when the mood is right)