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Old 12-04-2016, 08:50   #1
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Help talk me off the cliff!

Okay so after all my planning and preparation to start my sailing adventure my beautiful home went on the market Sunday night. It's prime time to be selling position "A" lakefront here in Michigan (even though it freaking snowed both days last weekend)...and I have to admit I'm a little scared. This has not been a rush decision, I retired 18 months ago and took a year before deciding if it was really what I wanted to do.

I will say that summers in Michigan are absolutely fantastic, but you don't hear a lot of people saying if you could live anywhere in the world, I would pick Detroit! I know long term I don't need a monstrous 6,000 square foot house as a single dude in an area that is very tied to a single industry, and the freedom of being homeless will be great...but still it is hard to give up a home I really love. It is not a financial thing, but more knowing that if I leave myself a safety net to come back to that I'll probably be less likely to succeed in my sailing adventure.

So I suppose the question is to any of you cruisers out there who have gone through the same thing, any advice or words of wisdom? Thanks!
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Old 12-04-2016, 15:05   #2
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

Just do it, you will never look back. You are not on this earth for a long time, so it is up to you to make it a good time.
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Old 12-04-2016, 15:18   #3
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

I haven't thrown off the shackles of land-living yet, but I am well aware that the stuff we think we own, especially houses, often owns us.

If it is of any help, consider that you can always swallow the anchor later if you're not happy with your choices.
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Old 12-04-2016, 15:31   #4
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

Unlike those of us who want to visit Michigan(and the North Channel & Georgian Bay) ... your trip will be all downstream ...
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Old 12-04-2016, 16:04   #5
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

ol1970,

All of us hold back from the unknown, for a while. You already know that you can hold back too long.

For me, I couldn't keep my house: i needed it for a cruising kitty. But I have gone back to where it is, and after 25 plus years, I would not want to live in that neighborhood at this time.

You will find that you (as well as the States) will change throughout the time you are gone, and when you want to swallow the anchor, you will be able to find an equivalently liveable home, and quite likely somewhere you have not as yet considered living!

The thing about these cliffs we have to jump off in life, all we get for waiting is older. Your choice. You're ready or not. We can't tell you if you are because people vary in the levels of readiness they require.

The deciding factor for Jim leaving when he did was the very early death of a workmate.

A friend used to say, when I was hesitating, "God hates a coward," meaning "Go on and go for it."

Ann
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Old 12-04-2016, 16:12   #6
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

My advice: Don't spend it all on a depreciating asset like a boat.
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Old 12-04-2016, 17:15   #7
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

I can say that I almost exactly feel and share your pain. We're looking to head out in the next year and just recently listed our lake house last week. We new the day was coming and moved into the house in an effort to keep it as long as possible, but have realized that both from a cruising kitty and logistics perspective, now's the time.

So we're selling a house that we love and will be moving back into the city to our little condo before moving out and renting it again next year. Neither of us wants to let the lake house go, but we're trying to focus on all the other cool places we'll get to visit as a result of selling it.

I like to think that Ann is right and that cruising will change us enough that we wont miss it long-term.

Only you can make the call of if it's the right decision for you or not. From my perspective, I think if you and your partner (if applicable) are both committed to the cruising lifestyle, then you'll be happy moving forward.

At least that's what we're counting on. Still, if I'm totally honest...it's going to hurt when the place sells...until we invest the proceeds.
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Old 12-04-2016, 17:17   #8
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

Fear is the mind killer.
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Old 12-04-2016, 17:23   #9
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ErBrown View Post
Neither of us wants to let the lake house go, but we're trying to focus on all the other cool places we'll get to visit as a result of selling it.

I like to think that Ann is right and that cruising will change us enough that we wont miss it long-term.

Only you can make the call of if it's the right decision for you or not. From my perspective, I think if you and your partner (if applicable) are both committed to the cruising lifestyle, then you'll be happy moving forward.
Good points and a good experience to share.

The lake house had only four views: one each side.

The boat will have the same four views, except they can be changed at will.

Good luck.
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Old 12-04-2016, 17:39   #10
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

I would actually jump.

Rent the house out, go fishing. Or sell, go fishing, buy another when done. Or ...

I did what I did when I felt like doing what I did. Neither our relationship failed, nor did we lose, nor make, any money on that.

It is 100% OK to have a safety net as it is 100% normal not to need or want or afford one.

Chase your passion. If at any point you find you are doing something stupid, keep on rolling and look around for opportunities to opt out.

Chase the rabbit, eat it, then chase his wise.

Think deep, not twice.

b.
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Old 12-04-2016, 17:50   #11
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigNickMontana View Post
Fear is the mind killer.
... eloquently summed; we often fear the unknown yet crave the adventure thereof. Such a 'fine line' between healthy research & paralysis by analysis.

Live your dream, whatever it may be.
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Old 12-04-2016, 18:23   #12
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

I never said it wouldn't be painful to let go of something that you have both history and dreams with. It is just like any other loss, even when it's planned, and there's ample good reason to do it. The last day in my house, when I was packing up objects that had been acquired and used during the raising of a family, that day, and especially, my kitchen stuff--well, it had to go and I took it; and I cried a lot that day. The only things I missed, we had fortunately put in a storage locker, and on one of our trips back I brought back to the boat, my favorite recipes and my best rolling pin. The good thing about emotional pain (and physical pain) is that it can motivate you, and that it's over when it's over--and your new feeling can be a lot nicer!

I don't think you should let the anticipation of pain to stop you in your plans, though; I want to be really clear about this. Fear is okay, just like anger is, you can use them or let them stop you or make you take poor decisions, but our feelings are useful. The idea is process them and move on. [There'll be another one along very soon!]

I used to do night time headsail changes (before we had roller furling) and I had a self-imposed rule, if I was hanging back from doing something because i was nervous about it, that, right there, the moment of realization, that's when I went below and got my tether and the rest of my foulies, and went and did it. And that style works for me, it is that my training has taught me to respect feelings, but they are transitory, and when acknowledged morph into something different.

So, if the OP says to himself, sure, we don't know how it's going to be for us--we haven't done it yet--it's okay to feel anxious, that old fear of the unknown. I've no idea what they will decide, all life is is processes and changes, and as someone already pointed out, one's sailing years, in particular, are limited by decreasing physical and sometimes mental ability, as well. All delay is a waste of your time when you already know how you want to spend it.

Check out Big Nick Montana's thread: see how fast you can make changes when you want to. He's right, fear can be a mind killer; and it is often an action killer.

Ann
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Old 12-04-2016, 20:04   #13
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

You worked all of your life to get to this point of being able to have the time and money to do what you wanted to do. I remember a story from a book I read long ago that will be with me till I am gone...a couple had retired from a manufacturing plane company and bought a sailboat. They were in Tahiti awaiting for an old coworker friend to arrive. He landed and they took the dingy out to the boat. He went below to get on his swimsuit. Came up on deck and jumped in. Died of a massive heart attack. Dead and done.


Damn the torpedos, full speed ahead..think it was Admiral Faragutt who said it. You earned it buddy. Cash in some chips and give 'er a go. You lucky dog.
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Old 12-04-2016, 20:39   #14
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

Thank you for all of the great replies! I think the reality of all my planning is just starting to set in and I can see light at the end of the tunnel. I'm a very happy scared if that makes sense. Yes, my lake home here is great for the 4 1/2 months of the year it is nice enough to go outside, but I have no doubt the adventures before me will be well worth it!

Because I'm an engineer I have probably totally over thought things, and most of my friends think I am a little nuts for giving up a big well paying career while I'm young and healthy. Having been a small business owner, I witnessed first hand the owners of my suppliers and competitors keep working until they croaked at their desk (yes this literally happened). I think I have been blessed to be able to say "enough is enough", I am happier in flip flops and shorts eating fish tacos and margaritas than a wining and dining another client at the fanciest steak houses. A life well lived is actually pretty inexpensive compared to what your friends and financial advisors would lead you to believe.

Now, by biggest decision comes between which boat to pull the trigger on...Performance oriented or Comfort.
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Old 12-04-2016, 21:05   #15
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Re: Help talk me off the cliff!

Do it! I'm a 72 engineer with a house on the lake in Minnesota, I was born in Singapore so prefer the sun to the snow. When my son is old enough to drive my wife has given me permission to 'take off' for a while. So it's performance boat (not Ferrari type performance more Golf gti) the hit the ocean and head for the equator and every little island in between ! Good luck!
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