First wife complained about all the time we spent on the boat. Years after our split she talks about how much she misses being on the water
(we still get along fine), her boyfriend is too lazy to get off the couch.
I met my second wife at a sail race
, she had been crewing
for 14 years on a very fast boat and could keep an all male crew in check. She also took the entire captains course but never owned her own boat, I didn't plan on ever getting married again but she had all the right qualities and a lot of spine. Looks damn good too. When she found out at the time I was selling all my property and getting rid of all the stuff to leave for a few years she was game
. Of course her added request of starting a whole second family
(my daughter from first is out of college and self supporting) was a bit challenging, but hey, what the heck, more crew to scrape the hull
It takes some amount of compromise, my wife would love a catamaran
for the living space but doesn't trust one for open water
ocean crossings. Because of our two sons we need space, sooo, i ended up with a 47' center cockpit
. It has the hull to make good time with but give us open water stability, the space to have some private spaces aboard, the extra luxuries that make it more comfortable and self sufficient in remote
locales and the looks to appeal to my wife.
On the flip side, it's bigger than I would optimally want, there are more complex systems to maintain, the costs of everything is more, the loads you handle are higher and the extra size may prevent us from some anchorages
Is it worth it? In my case yes, I've traveled the world in one form or another for most of my life, I found that it was more fun and more rewarding when I had someone to share those experiences with. In this case I get to share it with the whole family and give them an experience few will ever have. It's not easy, it means we'll be home schooling, raising a family on board, all in a confined space. It delayed my plans by a few years but in the end is a better way to go, for me.
In my case I was lucky, but I still knew it would take a while living in a confined space together before seeing if it was all possible. I'm not the smartest individual but I have learned a few things over time.
Want to sail into the sunset with a partner? Spend some extended time on your current
boat with her, see how that works out. Go to a few boat shows, see what she likes. Let her know what you need in a boat, then see where you can come to an agreement in the middle. The more my wife has sailed, the more finely tuned her opinions on boats are, funny
enough, we seem to agree on many points.
You'd both have to bend a bit.
Can your new honey surf a 40 footer down 14 foot seas with 35 knts off the stern while you do a spinaker dowse on the foredeck?
How much intestinal fortitude does she have? Better to find out now.
I already did before I committed.
Otherwise get a dog, they make good company and like to eat the same things as you do.
I had a dog at the time too, gone to the big fire hydrant in the sky now, god bless his soul, she liked him too, it's a good sign.
How does she treat the waitress when you eat at a restaurant? It's usually a sign.