Finding a New Lover

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by BandB

Wifey B: Totally and I am a blonde. Blue eyes too so maybe I can be Blue Blonde to your Blue Crab.

Oh and thanks for the flowers, Whisky. Virtual are the best kind as hubby has allergies to the real ones.

Wow.... what a brilliant cop out... noted for future use..

[Blue Crab]

Originally Posted by BandB

Wifey B: Totally and I am a blonde. Blue eyes too so maybe I can be Blue Blonde to your Blue Crab.

Oh and thanks for the flowers, Whisky. Virtual are the best kind as hubby has allergies to the real ones.

I could tell you got it Mrs B. Thanks for handling it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Blue Crab
Always crabby; the blues come and go.

[DoubleWhisky]

Originally Posted by BandB

Wifey B:
Oh and thanks for the flowers, Whisky. Virtual are the best kind as hubby has allergies to the real ones.

What a pity ! ! !

I feel You really deserve a lot of them

[BandB]

Originally Posted by DoubleWhisky

What a pity ! ! !

I feel You really deserve a lot of them

Wifey B: Yeah....poor me. I have to settle for things like diamonds and boats and cars and .............

And palm trees.

[jkindredpdx]

Originally Posted by BandB

Wifey B: I guess I missed the "in love" part. Maybe he expressed it so subtly I just didn't hear it.

... Like my sarcasm that was so subtle ...

[S/V Alchemy]

Originally Posted by Azul

I wonder how the women responders would feel if the proposal were reversed? A woman with a career that takes her out of town half the time for ten or more days suggests that her bf of two years give up his (much less income) career to move aboard her $250,000 monohull. Other men have tried to lure her onshore to live in the past, but she successfully eluded them.

She then starts a thread about him complaining that he isn't sure he would like the lifestyle, doesn't like the big mast in the boat's salon and doesn't see anywhere he could conveniently sunbathe. Not to mention he worries the boat doesn't provide enough privacy and maybe a $500,000 boat would work better.

I don't wonder. I know. By the same token, I know of divorced, addicted, lying and criminal mothers who have custody (read: varying levels of abuse) because attentive, hard-working fathers are considered less fit to parent and therefore do not merit custody.

It's not germane to the current thread save that it illustrates how revealing it is when the male and female roles are swapped, along with the assumptions.

The OP has the boat in hand. It's very probably the right boat. Instead of changing the boat, the prospective boat mate might wish to stop thinking about redecorating and start taking sailing lessons to determine if she has both an aptitude for and a liking of life on the water. Everything else strikes me as a band-aid that will fall off at the first green water over the coaming.

[S/V Alchemy]

Originally Posted by JGarrick

I'm wondering what this thread would look like if she were chatting with some non-boating friends. I'll just speculate about some details:

I've been seeing this guy for a couple of years and he wants me to move onto his boat and go sailing for half the year. I'm willing to sell almost everything I own, give up my home, family, and friends, and adopt this lifestyle he loves even though I don't really know anything about sailing.

Unfortunately, he's not willing to trade boats in order for me to have a little more deck space and some privacy below. I didn't think that was a lot to ask, but apparently this Alden boat is the ultimate sailing machine or something and his sailing buddies seem to think it's better to have a great boat than someone to sail it with.

Am I crazy for considering this?

The crazy part, even if only hypothetical, is right here: even though I don't really know anything about sailing.

The OP can't control the sea. Stuff does and will happen. You have to anticipate that. I don't care if it's the Queen Mary...about the cruellest thing I can imagine is putting any non-sailing human aboard a vessel and saying "here's home, come hell or high water".

Because sailing is full of high water. Not to mention that wind makes the boat go, and one is happiest at sea in 25 knots of usable gusts.

That is nightmarish for the non-sailor. A half-million dollars of new boat won't change it; you'll just have puking and crying on a better sort of cabin sole.

[beverley]

Originally Posted by S/V Alchemy

.... about the cruellest thing I can imagine is putting any non-sailing human aboard a vessel and saying "here's home, come hell or high water".

Because sailing is full of high water. Not to mention that wind makes the boat go, and one is happiest at sea in 25 knots of usable gusts.

That is nightmarish for the non-sailor. A half-million dollars of new boat won't change it; you'll just have puking and crying on a better sort of cabin sole.

I was out recently with two people with whom I had not sailed before. It was a big boat with a high freeboard and the sea was choppy and the wind was force 6/7. At one point the lee toerail was in the water for a good few minutes causing a high heel angle. They did not look at the boat, they looked at me - presumably to see if I was going to scream - because later on one of them related a story about the last time they did that with a "new to them" sailor and she demanded to be let off there and then.

Sometimes those of us who are used to more extreme environments forget what it is like for people who are not used to such experiences.

[S/V Alchemy]

Originally Posted by beverley

Sometimes those of us who are used to more extreme environments forget what it is like for people who are not used to such experiences.

Very true, and that "extreme" is quite subjective.

Unless you are very young or old, you aren't going to get a "boat ride" from me. I don't take out passengers. Everyone is designated crew, even first-timers. It would be easy to assume I'm pulling a Captain Bligh routine, but I learned quite early that it's far better to get someone to hold onto a line or to take the helm on a breezy day than to have them just sit there putting dents into the cockpit lockers gripping them in impotent fear.

If they are helping to trim or steer, I can help them to learn to sail, even a little bit. It takes their minds off "are we going to tip over?" "what's that gurgling noise?" and can even remedy seasickness.

Well, to a point...

Anyway, that's why non-sailors are assigned "crew" tasks on all but the flattest calms when I'm just going out with friends to cool down.

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by beverley

I was out recently with two people with whom I had not sailed before. It was a big boat with a high freeboard and the sea was choppy and the wind was force 6/7. At one point the lee toerail was in the water for a good few minutes causing a high heel angle. They did not look at the boat, they looked at me - presumably to see if I was going to scream - because later on one of them related a story about the last time they did that with a "new to them" sailor and she demanded to be let off there and then.

Sometimes those of us who are used to more extreme environments forget what it is like for people who are not used to such experiences.

Sounds to me like a coupla 'Lets scare the chick' ********..

[darylat8750]

Just a thought.

Living on a boat and sailing are not necessarily the same thing. The assumptions above seem to think that if she has no interest in sailing it is a lost cause. My wife spends more than 50% of her time on the boat and has zero interest in sailing. Doesn't mean we don't make it work.

One other thing. If sailing is the goal instead of cruising....( The amount of fun I have on a sailboat seems to be inversely proportional to the gross weight. IE a Laser is more fun to sail than a cruiser and a sailboard is more fun than a Laser. I'm looking forward to trying Kite Boarding. [This holds true for airplanes too. A B747 pays more than a Pitts but the Pitts puts the grin on my face.] ) Perhaps a comfortable liveaboard boat that can change the view as desired without worrying much about sailing qualities could be considered. Or even, wash my mouth out with soap, a Trawler type boat.

[Hudson Force]

I took a step into a relationship with a non-sailing woman back in my early twenties. All the cards were on the table and everything is negotiable. My best move was to foster her ownership of the skills to operate the boat and develop a passion for sailing. There's no one answer to success,- you may be as lucky as me, but you can't do better. We've been cruising for 44 years.

"To keep a marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, when you're wrong admit it, when you're right shut up!" -Ogden Nash

[beverley]

Originally Posted by boatman61

Sounds to me like a coupla 'Lets scare the chick' ********..

No they were not and at a rather advanced 21+ years of age I hardly count as a "chick" Boatman.

I enjoyed their company and they were both very nice to be with. A gust heeled the boat and it really moved well so they kept it "in the groove". I was quite comfortable and felt safe.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by beverley

No they were not and at a rather advanced 21+ years of age I hardly count as a "chick" Boatman.

I enjoyed their company and they were both very nice to be with. A gust heeled the boat and it really moved well so they kept it "in the groove". I was quite comfortable and felt safe.

Yes but their previous guest was not. So Boatman's comment as relates to her has legitimacy.

We've been on sailboats that shocked us as they leaned. But the persons taking us were very careful to explain in advance and as we reached that point. They made sure we were ok with it. I admit the first time sailing and seeing water coming over the side of the boat was a bit of a new experience. Had our sailor not been so thoughtful in preparing us and talking us through the experience, I would have been scared.

Now on power boats we take guests and some are very new to boating. We go to great lengths to talk about seasickness and try to help them enjoy the trip.

[beverley]

Originally Posted by BandB

Yes but their previous guest was not. So Boatman's comment as relates to her has legitimacy.

We've been on sailboats that shocked us as they leaned. But the persons taking us were very careful to explain in advance and as we reached that point.

As I explained earlier, this was something of gust. It was a bumpy day and anyone who was inexperienced should not go out in a force 7. I was there and as far as i am concerned the gentlemen in question have nothing to answer for.

In any case, the point I was making was about how experience colours our perceptions which bears some relation to this thread. What we find acceptable an inexperienced person may not. Analysing my anecdote in depth merely takes the thread off-topic