So, so guilty.
You correct people who use "D David" "M Mary" and such incorrect attempts to clarify spelling.
Your kid uses bowline knots on sneakers.
You don't attend baby showers, weddings, or family
gatherings in summer. Period.
Expired flares move from the boat
to the auto. Same with old halyards.
You keep a spare set of boating
clothes in the car in case you wind
up at the boat
..or a boat.
You find any excuse to get on a boat...any boat.
You think 90F is just fine.
You'd rather drink strychnine than go to one of those popular summer weekend events
in the city.
Your garage is half-full with boat crap.
You have a spare starter for the boat (along with serpentine belt, impeller, etc.) but don't even have a spare oil filter
for the autos.
You have more small foreign flags
aboard than the UN.
Friends know enough not to invite you over during summer. They don't understand, but if they are true friends they accept it.
You own more then six sets of sunglasses. On the boat. They all have frogs.
You carry a knife all the time. And have one in the auto. And one on the binnacle, one in the coaming, one in the chart table, and four below. You use a knife to cut loose thread, open packages, and clean finger nails. In fact, you could not do the simplest chores without a knife.
You wonder, why really, must you have to explain to guests not to grab on to the low arial.
You have six fishing
rods, none of which you've used in the last year. You intend to troll under sail, but then never actually do.
You keep a compass
in your auto. Even if your auto has an integrated compass
, you don't trust it.
Most destinations are toward water
. Given two shopping
markets equidistant from home, you will head toward the one closest to water. Your vacations are on water. Montana and Arizona look really beautiful in photos, and yes, you'd like to go there some day, but never do.
You are the king of bungee cords and wire ties.
Your work clothes are covered with grease and oil
, yet you've never lifted the hood
(bonnet) on your auto.
Diaper rash isn't just for babies.
You believe that a quick dip overboard
is equivalent to a shower
A pair of quick-dry shorts is normally clothed. Donning a shirt is "dressing up".
You can't discern financial wealth amongst your associates and friends because they all look equal in dirty shorts and torn T shirts.
The favored flip-flops are the ones that cost $12 and you'll nurse them through the final year of their life because you dread trying to find replacements
at any cost.
Over they years most of your friends of the opposite sex have suffered a "wardrobe malfunction" and it's no big deal. You wonder why such things make it on CNN.
Land people awoke and turned on the TV in the bedroom. You watched the sun come up.