To some extent a boat with a hull
shape that corresponds to your way of sailing will alleviate the problem. I found light, beamy aft and flat boats to sail more comfortably downwind while narrow, heavier and longer keeled boats to sail more comfortably upwind.
In the anchorage, nothing beats a cat.
The most comfortable of the small boats I have sailed were:
Upwind - Ohlson 38, Contessa 32, Contessa 26, My own boat (Allegro 27) and an IF,
Downwind - a Mini Transat boat, a Farr 40,
Look them up and you will see what sort of hull
shape they represent
As far as size (length / weight) of a boat count I found everything up to 40+ feet uncomfortable. A 46 HR was comfortable though, and a Stephens 52 was probably best along with a Catana
From your description I take it your home waters are alike our home waters on the Skagerrak. Then a boat like ours would sail well, but she has to be as big as you can get. Ours is simply too small and uncomfortable no matter what. I know it is possible to get a Freya 39 in your corner of the world - check out if there is one nearby and ask for a ride - see if this is the motion that will work for you guys.
My 2 cents.