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Old 09-01-2017, 05:58   #31
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pirate Re: Why people may not help you!

Its called progress..
There was a time as a biker when if I pulled up under a bridge on a cold wet winters day to thaw out my hands, warm n dry my gloves a bit on the engine and have a smoke.. a bike would roar past then turn round and come back to ask if I was okay.. passing bikes would give a cheery wave or nod..
Then biking became trendy with designer leathers and Yuppie buyers/riders.. today they just roar past and/or ignore your greeting.
Over the years the same thing has happened in the boating world.. common courtesies fade as the amount and type of 'Users' grows..
The natural result through an influx of the "Me Me..!!!" Society...
Myself.. its like lending someone money.. once bitten twice shy.. with that particular person.
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:02   #32
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Re: Why people may not help you!

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Originally Posted by sartorst View Post
There past experiences
There was the time I stopped to help a disabled power boat and offered a tow to my marine they wanted a tow to a marine 6 miles the other direction after all how would they get to there car??????
Been there. March time and the water is cold. We have just returned from a dive on my rib. On entering the harbour we see an old retired couple in the water struggling to right a capsized dinghy. They have been in the water some time and they are heading over the edge of the accident pit. We pull them into the rib and I put a diver in a full drysuit along side the dinghy with a rope around the mast. A quick bust of power and the dinghy is level with water draining nicely out the back. We head the 2 miles into the slip were they also launched the dinghy. A fellow member of the club helps them up to the club room to get warm. So far everything is okay. Then another member of the club who was watching comments that boats like my rib shouldn't be allowed on the slips its for dinghies only, even though its is a public slip

The skipper of a fishing tawler who we helped by removing a rope from his prop had a different outlook and a 20 note bought all the divers fish and chips when we got home.

From Yorkshire: There's nowt as queer as folk
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:04   #33
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Re: Why people may not help you!

The belief in Karma helps a lot in my experience. It means, for example, the guy I pissed off yesterday had it coming...
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:12   #34
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Re: Why people may not help you!

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Originally Posted by sartorst View Post
There past experiences
There was the time I stopped to help a disabled power boat and offered a tow to my marine they wanted a tow to a marine 6 miles the other direction after all how would they get to there car??????
There was the time I towed a sailboat to my marina after docking I walked over to give help or advise turns out it needed a head gasket his offer to fix it -----------A six pack !!! I find out later his occupation stock broker !
There was the time a club member asked if I would help on a bottom job "ok" When I get there at 9am he is miffed because he had been there since 6am waiting What he had done -----------------Nothing I was waiting on you he said
Stopped to help a lady with a flat as I finish the task her son drives up! the LADY had not mentioned that he was on the way!!!!!!
There was the time a guy in the marine that came over and asked to borrow a tool one thing led to another I realize he and his friend are making a dangerous mess of there wiring so I spend the better part of a day of my life working on his boat wiring for a beer and a thank you to find out later he is worth millions!!!
There was the time a guy walks up and say's Someone on the dock said you were a good mechanic can you help me? I have a look at the engine and it is a POS. When I decline he say's If you are so good why can't you work on it ?
There was the time I went up a guy's mast to do something for him and the next time I see him he want's to know what I may have done to damage his wind instruments "they are not working" I did not touch them!
I Know I Know There are those of you out there saying but you volunteered and YOU are the Type person I intend to avoid
TOOO many people ask of others time with no respect of others TIME!!!!
I work as a registered nurse, what do you think I deal with continuously all day and everyday at work?

There's always going to be ungrateful jerks out there, but that doesn't mean you stop helping the other 95% good, considerate people.

You actually started a thread just to bitch about this?
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:19   #35
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Re: Why people may not help you!

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Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post
Its called progress..
There was a time as a biker when if I pulled up under a bridge on a cold wet winters day to thaw out my hands, warm n dry my gloves a bit on the engine and have a smoke.. a bike would roar past then turn round and come back to ask if I was okay.. passing bikes would give a cheery wave or nod..
Then biking became trendy with designer leathers and Yuppie buyers/riders.. today they just roar past and/or ignore your greeting.
Over the years the same thing has happened in the boating world.. common courtesies fade as the amount and type of 'Users' grows..
The natural result through an influx of the "Me Me..!!!" Society...
Myself.. its like lending someone money.. once bitten twice shy.. with that particular person.
Great analogy.
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:22   #36
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Re: Why people may not help you!

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Originally Posted by krisb007 View Post
I was once out wake boarding on Folsom lake, way up the North Fork valley. My daughters were with me and we were having an amazing day. Then we overheated. Impeller disintegrated, bolt stripped while trying to replace it. Stuck on the water for 2 hours and no boats. Then came a little old mane in a dingy with a 5hp outboard on his way OUT to go fishing. Came to us, heard our story, then proceeded to tow us all the way back to the dock. Refused payment of any kind. He then loaded up his boat to go home because he no longer had time to go out and fish his favorite spot.

Because of that little old man I will always do my best to pay it forward if it can be done safely. If that hadn't of happened to me I don't know if that would be my attitude today. Sad to say but it's just not the norm anymore. Wish it was.
I have many stories to tell just like your's and will also spend the rest of my like helping others. I've got news for you and everyone else.... it's still the norm.

My wife left her wallet in a Walmart shopping cart/carriage in the parking lot. By the time we realized it was almost an hour later; she was concerned, I said don't worry it'll be there. When I got to the store, I found out that an honest person had turned it in to the service desk. I then told the story to my co-workers, who then said the same thing had happened to them.

Good things happen all the time, but people just seem to busy to notice. I do.
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:39   #37
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Re: Why people may not help you!

One thing I have learned in my 54 years on this planet. Never expect anything thing in return for a kind gesture, you will be disappointed. That does not stop me for assisting others in time of need. My Karma ran over my dogma!
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Old 09-01-2017, 06:46   #38
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Re: Why people may not help you!

We are not typical cruisers. We are not interested in crowded anchorages, potluck dinners, picnics on the beach or sailing armadas from point to point. The last place we would ever go would be Georgetown, Bahamas. We cruise because we love to sail and the challenges it presents. We seek destinations off the beaten path and the adventures they provide. However, in 30 years of sailing we have never ignored any sailor in distress and there have been many we have helped. We never approach any situation with an expectation of reward and make it clear from the initial contact that they are seeking help and wish us to help them. Liability is always a concern but, in all honesty, we usually just roll the dice. Our personal belief is that our values generally oppose the shallow and selfish values of our contemporary world and we refuse to be infected with this moral/ethical malaise. The bottom line is that what you do in any given situation is a direct indication of who you are as a person and the values in which you believe. These actions are the badges that define your life. Good luck and safe sailing.
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Old 09-01-2017, 07:15   #39
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Re: Why people may not help you!

Frankly I dislike dwelling on this subject but... Something I have noticed is that often, the greatest kindnesses/considerations are extended by the less well to do.

E.g. when we first arrived on the West Coast of Florida, during our first excursion up the Caloosahatchie River toward Ft. Myers, I did not realize that the markers switched to inland rules north and east of the eastern end marker at the "Miserable Mile" above Punta Rassa. Of course, at the next Red Mark we attempted to leave it to starboard and promptly ran aground (at 0730 after a long tiring overnight sail from the Keys). Flashy, very costly looking, power boats whizzed past us, both coming and going, with nary a one slowing to minimize their wakes even though we were clearly aground and wake action was worsening out situation. None, of course, offered any assistance. As I set about inflating our dinghy to lay out a kedge anchor astern to winch ourselves off, a very beat up old flats boat with a stack of fish traps piled on its deck, and a very grizzled elderly (than me) fellow at the helm passed us and then swung around and came up to our quarter. He simply said, hey, pass me your stern line and I'll give you a "pluck". I wasn't sure his very old outboard would do the trick but, what the heck...and, in a few minutes he managed to pull us clear and back into the stream. We tried to give him a $20 but he refused saying it was all in a daze work, cast off our line, and, after warning us about the change in marks convention heading further up river ('...lots of folks go aground here cuz of the change...', headed off with a wave.

The fellow was obviously of limited means but he cheerfully and willingly helped us when others would not, nor even slowed so not to exacerbate our situation. As we motored on up to the St. Charles YC my, then very your daughter said "He was a nice man Daddy", "Yes Honeybee, we were lucky. He was a very nice man, and we should try to be too.", and we all smiled.
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Old 09-01-2017, 07:44   #40
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Re: Why people may not help you!

"Frankly I dislike dwelling on this subject but... Something I have noticed is that often, the greatest kindnesses/considerations are extended by the less well to do." SvHyLyte

HyLyte,
It has been my experience that wealth, or a lack thereof, is not an indicator of compassion, kindness or generosity. Good luck and safe sailing.
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Old 09-01-2017, 08:54   #41
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Re: Why people may not help you!

I'm glad you posted this...I deal with it quite a bit, being someone with a lot of exposure in the marine industry. I love helping people, but I'm a working single mom with nobody to rely on but myself. So I've learned to place a dollar value on my time and to stick to it. Professionals don't work for free. You have to learn to say, "I'd be glad to help you with your wiring. My rate is XXX, or I can refer you to a marine electrician." Everyone likes referrals.

The biggest thing that people ask me for is free editing and free publishing advice. I have to remind them that I have two degrees in the field and lots of publications...my rate is what it is.

Good luck to you. There are many wonderful people out there, but also many users or people who don't have a concept of what your time is worth.

And nobody can live off of beer.
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Old 09-01-2017, 08:57   #42
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Re: Why people may not help you!

There will always be the occasional rude idiot or clueless person. Their problem, not mine.

I am betting that by helping out, I will spread a little humanity, a bit of giving that will hopefully be magnified and passed on. My personal belief system is that we have to all be beacons of light, spreading goodness, tolerance and good will in the world. There's too much selfishness, meanness, aggression and stupidity. We all could use more kindness in the world. I'll do my part.

There was an older couple who had a boat next to mine. Leaves clogged the scuppers and the cockpit filled with rainwater. I spent two hours bailing it and the boat out. Good exercise. They were so grateful, it was worth the time. A tiny bit of light spread out. I hope they reflect it in some way to others.
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Old 09-01-2017, 09:05   #43
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Re: Why people may not help you!

i concur with boaty on this one.
and i managed to convert from a nurse helps all into a nurse only helps those who really need it--then by coordination of needed items/work.
i am aware i cannot cure the planet--therefore i sit back and watch. if they land in my lap i will figure what they need and send it their way if i have it or access to it.
there are many who use rescue a s away of life--oh, please --cannot do this. i had the hurry up n wait gig going at the sporty car tracks as a flag team member.
itis not difficult to make your stuff safe enough to travel without help--why do so many count on outside assistance to enter bays or marinas or whatever...there is real need and there is "oh i cant".
i usually give folks a free save, once. if i cannot do it i donot feel badly for inability to help other than calling others more qualified. is not my job to save the planet from selves
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Old 09-01-2017, 09:10   #44
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Re: Why people may not help you!

Couldn't tell you how many people owe me dinners for helping them out. Not that I helped to get anything, or care, but seems bad form to say "thanks for the help, we'll take you out to dinner!", then never do it.
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Old 09-01-2017, 09:28   #45
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Re: Why people may not help you!

People who earn their living as marine professionals should not be asked to work for free; that burden falls on those in the arts! During my career I directed hundreds of pro bono public service television commercials or fund-raising films. I'm in the club that includes artists and photographers who are often told that the exposure we might receive is worth much more than cash.

Most of the time I received sincere thanks, sometimes just the perfunctory corporate polyester version of gratitude or an illuminated certificate, but I always felt good about helping, so it was more than worth it.

Every year I did a job for a center for aging that was a multi-day studio and location shoot and extensive edit. After doing the job for a few years, my grateful client wouldn't even help me get an appointment at their clinic. Not for free, mind you, just an appointment for an evaluation. I still chuckle about that one.

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