Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 08-01-2017, 17:15   #16
Registered User

Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Pensacola Florida
Boat: Jeanneau Sun Odyssey 40
Posts: 135
Re: Why people may not help you!

Perhaps I've just been lucky, but I've never encountered a more helpful bunch than sailors. They race to help you dock, share their experience and expertise, lend expensive tools, give you spares, warn you about weather and local conditions, all but force-feed you, and pour liquor into your glass.

I have run across a very few who are less forthcoming, but I suspect they are dealing with some great unpleasantness in their lives. They are the exception. Outside the military, I can't think of another bunch that are not only fully prepared to risk their lives to save you when you are in peril, but would jump at the chance to do so.

Fair winds to all,

Leo
__________________

__________________
Leo Ticheli is offline  
Old 08-01-2017, 17:23   #17
Coastal Cruiser.
 
uncle stinkybob's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: P.N.W.
Boat: Lancer 30-5
Posts: 583
Re: Why people may not help you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sartorst View Post
There past experiences
There was the time I stopped to help a disabled power boat and offered a tow to my marine they wanted a tow to a marine 6 miles the other direction after all how would they get to there car??????
There was the time I towed a sailboat to my marina after docking I walked over to give help or advise turns out it needed a head gasket his offer to fix it -----------A six pack !!! I find out later his occupation stock broker !
There was the time a club member asked if I would help on a bottom job "ok" When I get there at 9am he is miffed because he had been there since 6am waiting What he had done -----------------Nothing I was waiting on you he said
Stopped to help a lady with a flat as I finish the task her son drives up! the LADY had not mentioned that he was on the way!!!!!!
There was the time a guy in the marine that came over and asked to borrow a tool one thing led to another I realize he and his friend are making a dangerous mess of there wiring so I spend the better part of a day of my life working on his boat wiring for a beer and a thank you to find out later he is worth millions!!!
There was the time a guy walks up and say's Someone on the dock said you were a good mechanic can you help me? I have a look at the engine and it is a POS. When I decline he say's If you are so good why can't you work on it ?
There was the time I went up a guy's mast to do something for him and the next time I see him he want's to know what I may have done to damage his wind instruments "they are not working" I did not touch them!
I Know I Know There are those of you out there saying but you volunteered and YOU are the Type person I intend to avoid
TOOO many people ask of others time with no respect of others TIME!!!!
Honestly, it sounds to me that you have failed to make your expectations clear before you offered your "help". I try not to have expectation on anybody for anything anymore, much less disappointment with people that way. If I offer help, I feel a little better about me, that's my payout, it is not dependent on your response. I think most people in the world are undeserving, selfish freaks anyway, so I do limit my offers of help. Family first, friends second, not much spare time after that anyway.
__________________

__________________
uncle stinkybob is online now  
Old 08-01-2017, 17:26   #18
Senior Cruiser
 
meatservo's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: DFW
Boat: wanting a cat
Posts: 315
Re: Why people may not help you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leo Ticheli View Post
Perhaps I've just been lucky, but I've never encountered a more helpful bunch than sailors. They race to help you dock, share their experience and expertise, lend expensive tools, give you spares, warn you about weather and local conditions, all but force-feed you, and pour liquor into your glass.

I have run across a very few who are less forthcoming, but I suspect they are dealing with some great unpleasantness in their lives. They are the exception. Outside the military, I can't think of another bunch that are not only fully prepared to risk their lives to save you when you are in peril, but would jump at the chance to do so.

Fair winds to all,

Leo
We can drink beer together!


meatservo
__________________
meatservo is online now  
Old 08-01-2017, 17:31   #19
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Central California
Boat: Samson C Mist 32
Posts: 396
Re: Why people may not help you!

My favorite kind of good turn is when nobody but me knows who did it!
__________________
Steve Bean is offline  
Old 08-01-2017, 17:42   #20
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Traverse City, Mi
Boat: Catalina 34MKII
Posts: 95
Re: Why people may not help you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pelagic View Post
Sartorst, what works for me is this mindset;

'I never do something for anyone else!! ....I do it because it makes ME feel good.'

That way I never go into it with expectations.

BTW, which dock are you on....my head needs fixing
I like your mindset, and that of many others in this thread. I once read a book titled "Looking out for #1" and really enjoyed it. Many people passed on the book because of the title, but the bottom line is many times doing the right thing and feeling good about it is "looking out for # 1". This thread started as an understandable downer and is ending up being uplifting. Thanks!

Steve, I also like your point about doing it so only you know.
__________________
tommy
tomdidit is offline  
Old 08-01-2017, 17:50   #21
Registered User

Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 458
Re: Why people may not help you!

Don't get me wrong I have felt good about helping many times and made some great friends through the years by helping and being helped Guess I was feeling pissy after reading a few Help me threads
__________________
sartorst is offline  
Old 08-01-2017, 19:31   #22
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Cruising the Gulf of Mexico.
Boat: 1980 Morgan 415
Posts: 1,427
Re: Why people may not help you!

It must be something in the air. I have been reminiscing on "pay it forward" incidents today. Even put the DVD on. The practice has a long history and millions of people around the world believe that paying a true kindness back is impossible, so they pay it forward.

Rich and poor quietly reach out and touch other lives.
__________________
Working on spending my children's inheritance.
Cap Erict3 is online now  
Old 08-01-2017, 20:41   #23
Registered User
 
chris mac's Avatar

Join Date: May 2015
Location: edmonton alberta
Boat: 1980 san juan 7.7
Posts: 279
Re: Why people may not help you!

Steve bean, 👍
When I was a teenager I worked in a small town convenience store. A long haul trucker would stop in periodically and just bs with me for a while.
He would randomly pick out people in the store and point them out to me. When they came up to pay, I would tell them it was free, store promotion or whatever. He would pay their bill but never wanted anyone to know.
He told me his story, grew up poor but turned it around and was doing well because of random help from strangers. Now he gets pleasure from paying it forward.
That always stuck with me.
I've done it a couple times now, it's a really great feeling. especially when it's obvious that they could use a hand.
For whatever weird reason, I also enjoy pulling people out of the ditch in winter. Sitting in -20 for a few hours waiting for a tow truck is a very special level of hell!
__________________
chris mac is online now  
Old 08-01-2017, 20:49   #24
Senior Cruiser
 
meatservo's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: DFW
Boat: wanting a cat
Posts: 315
Re: Why people may not help you!

I remember being in a supermarket in rural N.C. to attend a funeral, elderly Black couple had a problem paying for their groceries, I told the clerk I got this, remarkable expression form the clerk, but they were appreciative and left with their groceries...


meatservo
__________________
meatservo is online now  
Old 08-01-2017, 21:21   #25
Senior Cruiser
 
Ann T. Cate's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 7,629
Re: Why people may not help you!

Remember the old bumper sticker: "Commit random acts of kindness"
__________________
Ann & Jim, U.S. s/v Insatiable II, free at last, in Tasmania, will check in when in internet range
Ann T. Cate is offline  
Old 08-01-2017, 23:52   #26
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Boat: Island Packet 40
Posts: 1,280
Images: 7
Re: Why people may not help you!

I have been a chronic good Samaritan and have had good and bad experiences with it. I know good Samaritanism is a bad habit and serious character deficiency and whilst I have become better at resisting appeals for assistance generally give in and volunteer to help. I think it's one of those habits that if you get it early in life you are stuck with it. Does make you feel good and I have made some long term friends of people I have assisted so I'll probably stick with it. I am also finding my head easier to live with since I decided to allow what I do to define my view of life rather than what other people do.


The trouble with putting everyone into the mongrel box is you never get to know anyone.
__________________
RaymondR is offline  
Old 09-01-2017, 00:22   #27
Registered User
 
DumnMad's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Nelson NZ; boat in Brisbane
Boat: 45ft Ketch
Posts: 1,013
Re: Why people may not help you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike OReilly View Post
Sounds like the OP needs to hang out with a better class of boater, or simply better people. Iíve always found I get back what I put out.
True, hang out with a better class of boater, but I have some sympathy for the OP. I never got the impression he didn't like helping people.
Valid points about helping for the enjoyment of helping, however, if you have your own stuff that needs doing it must be frustrating when someone is really keen to exploit your generosity even though they have far more resources than you to solve the problem themselves.
__________________
DumnMad is offline  
Old 09-01-2017, 04:15   #28
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Underway in the Med - Black Sea we hope
Boat: Jeanneau 40 DS SoulMates
Posts: 1,664
Images: 1
Re: Why people may not help you!

I wish I could help fellow sailors out but I am just not smart enough and very limited skills but if I could I will - now does the black wire go to the plus or minus - I forget - maybe it is all that grey hair I have
__________________
just our thoughts and opinions
chuck and svsoulmates
underway in the Black Sea
chuckr is offline  
Old 09-01-2017, 06:40   #29
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 51
Re: Why people may not help you!

The older I get, the more I understand that good deeds get punished.

I have have assisted boaters only to similar treatment as the OP. Perhaps was the most insulting was assisting a young couple, towing them in, letting them borrow dry towels & cloths, providing a ride to their car & letting them keep their boat at my dock for a few days. They returned a few days later, did not return the towels & clothing, departed with their boat and left trash on the dock.

I still assist people, but am very careful not to let their problems become mine.

It is understood that within the US, the subjects of Good Samaritan protection laws and assumption of liability laws are complex.
__________________
old frog is offline  
Old 09-01-2017, 06:42   #30
Registered User
 
svHyLyte's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Tampa Bay area, USA
Boat: Beneteau First 42
Posts: 3,138
Images: 25
Re: Why people may not help you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike OReilly View Post
.... Iíve always found I get back what I put out.
Or More.... S'called Good Karma?
__________________

__________________
"It is not so much for its beauty that the Sea makes a claim upon men's hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air, that emanation from the waves, that so wonderfully renews a weary spirit."
svHyLyte is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Micah's Folly...why not, and why anyway... micah719 Monohull Sailboats 10 17-07-2014 14:15
Why Do Inexperienced People, with No Knowledge, Offer Advice ? Chief Engineer The Sailor's Confessional 154 18-10-2011 08:44
Why People Anchor on Top of Other Boats Katiusha Seamanship & Boat Handling 48 15-09-2011 15:59


Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities


Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 18:47.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.