What Sailing Strategies Do Crews Argue About Most?

[mglonnro]

Has the idea of "absolute" power to the skipper/captain ever been scientifically tested, by the way? (I don't know how it would be done, just curious.)

I'm just thinking that so many ideas of what previously were the best ways to manage and lead have more recently been thrown out the window, and I'm sure no field of activity can be immune to "there's possibly a better way to do it".

Theoretically, a boat with a husband and wife with equal sailing/boating competence, if safety is first priority, couldn't (for example) a consensus based decision system have advantages over "wife has final say"?

Don't shoot me, I'm just wondering!

[JPA Cate]

Hi, mglonnro,

For me, after I passed the 150,000 mark, counting coup did not matter much to me. But I think "wife has final say" is for the very practical reason that if she is with him now, and he wants her there, she must be kept happy. And that will entirely depend on the woman with him, and what kind of a person she is. It is not a place for blinkers on the eyes, but steady appraisal.

Ann

[mglonnro]

Originally Posted by JPA Cate

Hi, mglonnro,

For me, after I passed the 150,000 mark, counting coup did not matter much to me. But I think "wife has final say" is for the very practical reason that if she is with him now, and he wants her there, she must be kept happy. And that will entirely depend on the woman with him, and what kind of a person she is. It is not a place for blinkers on the eyes, but steady appraisal.

Ann

150 000 is quite amazing, by the way

And yes, my intention was to play with the stereotypes there as well (the captain always assumed the man).

Steady appraisal and no blinkers sounds good.

I remember from fifteen years ago that I had convinced myself that my role as captain/skipper (being ultimately responsible for it all) of our boat meant I expected others (including my then wife) to follow my wishes. ("They are not wishes they are orders", I hear someone chiming in, provocatively.)

Now today, this whole mentality of turning a relationship of equals into one of subordination when stepping aboard a boat, it gives me the shivers.

It would suit my desired world view fine to find out that much research has been done and the traditional dynamics of boat management/leadership might not apply any more

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by mglonnro

150 000 is quite amazing, by the way

And yes, my intention was to play with the stereotypes there as well (the captain always assumed the man).

Steady appraisal and no blinkers sounds good.

I remember from fifteen years ago that I had convinced myself that my role as captain/skipper (being ultimately responsible for it all) of our boat meant I expected others (including my then wife) to follow my wishes. ("They are not wishes they are orders", I hear someone chiming in, provocatively.)

Now today, this whole mentality of turning a relationship of equals into one of subordination when stepping aboard a boat, it gives me the shivers.

It would suit my desired world view fine to find out that much research has been done and the traditional dynamics of boat management/leadership might not apply any more

Oh it still applies.. it just depends on whether one prefers physical or psychological resistance to mutiny..
One trip a couple were sailing through the Straits of Gib with me heading W on a rising E'ly.. as we passed Tarifa it was gusting F8 and sea starting to build nicely to 2-3 metres and breaking..
Lindsay was below screaming we were going to die and Pete was white knuckling in the cockpit next to me.
As dusk fell he saw Tarifa''s lights twinkling about 10nm astern and suggested we turn round and head for port.. I said no.
5mins later he stood up and loomong over me repeated the Tarifa idea agressively.. he's a big lad..!!!.
So I looked astern judging the waves and turned just before the biggest 8n the set.. we shot up the face and took off at the top coming down with a gravity defeating slam.. Lindsay flew off the saloon berth and landed on the sole with other airborne debris with the loudest scream ever and Pete turned to me with ashen face and accepted downwind was the better choice..
Experience trumps Illusions of safety every time..

[Olorin]

My two cents:

At 52 years of age my girlfriend (now wife) and I moved onto a 40' sailing catamaran. I'd been dinghy sailing lakes and rivers in Canada since the age of 7. She sailed with me on a Hobie 18 for a couple of years.

We had two individuals with different levels of experience in various life areas. We had a boat equipped for coastal cruising on which we wanted to cross oceans. The goal was to modify and augment both the boat and crew with the systems, equipment and expertise to safely cruise across oceans.

We spent three years sailing from the Bahamas north as far as Baltimore and south as far as Trinidad learning how to do everything we thought we needed to be able to do. We talked to everyone we could find about our plans and asked for advice. We went through every system on the boat and brought it up to its intended task.

We have safely sailed across the Pacific Ocean as far as Australia, approximately 20,000 nautical miles in total. It was a life changing, positive experience.

The bottom line is that we had two unique individuals, a unique boat and a goal. We found a way to make it work for us.

Kind of like life in general.

[gamayun]

Ahh, the benefits of singlehanding. Rule #1, stay on the boat. Rule #2, never violate rule #1. There's rarely need for debates

[StuM]

Originally Posted by mglonnro

150 000 is quite amazing, by the way

Time for Ann to get to get 30 swallow tattoos?

[AKA-None]

Originally Posted by Suijin

When at sea, gentlemen sit down to pee.

In fact on my boat, gentlemen as well as scoundrels sit down to pee even if the boat is not moving. If I find the seat up someone’s getting keel hauled. The head stays so much cleaner.

Don’t be like pop
Be like sis
Sit your but down
Before you pi$$

[AKA-None]

The closest I come to any “argument “ is when racing I want to move over for better wind. But sense I’m usually the trimmer and not the tactician I often get, make it fast here and now. Then I get to go forward with the deck hands and help by taking a shower. :-)

[theway]

Thanks all for the replies... much of my curiosity here is to help justify my own indecision at times. I sometimes wonder if I’m thinking too much about something that is pretty simple or is it something that could be debated by two experienced sailors.

One thing I’ve heard recently about a sailing couple was that whenever there’s a debate they go with the more conservative/cautious point of view.

[theway]

Originally Posted by StuM

I show this video to all new racing crew. Warning (not for those offended by coarse language)!

Great video, I definitely can relate to the sentiment though I try to be less vocal about it... but definitely how I communicate with myself sometimes.

[theway]

Originally Posted by Nikki S

Normally we ask questions like billknny said. Questions about everything on your list, especially the weather forecasts. The only time debate happens is over what tone of voice the other was using when one of us feels upset about the way we are being spoken to.

This definitely made me smile...
funny how that works.