Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 18-06-2008, 01:03   #16
Senior Cruiser
 
Alan Wheeler's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Marlborough Sounds. New Zealand
Boat: Hartley Tahitian 45ft. Leisure Lady
Posts: 8,038
Images: 102
If I have to set too many rules, I have the wrong friends on board. If they don't automatically join in and help out with simple things like Dishes etc, I have the wrong friends on board. So choose who you want on board wisely.
I try and allow our guests to have have as much fun and relaxation as possible. I have only one set of instructions I give them, and that is a safety lesson. Like life jackets, how to use and where they are stored, were the fire extinguishers are and the medical kit etc. I have signs on how to operate the VHF and our call sign along with a simple boating safety sign that I point out to them and thats about it.
__________________

__________________
Wheels

For God so loved the world..........He didn't send a committee.
Alan Wheeler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 04:41   #17
Registered User
 
waterworldly's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: New York City/Bimini
Boat: 52' Irwin Ketch
Posts: 441
A good idea is to formulate a list of rules and mail it to guests ahead of time. If they find it repressive, they'll cancel.
One of my favorites:
Rule of packing at home: Pack everything you want to bring in a soft bag, then empty and take 1/2 out and repack. On day before you arrive, empty again and take 1/2 out. We're not going to a deserted island, if you really NEED something, you will be able to purchase it there.
__________________

__________________
waterworldly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 05:48   #18
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 6,895
No Rules!.... If they are my overnight guests, that means they are my friends and I choose wisely.

10 minutes to explain any basic issues like how the toilet works, how to keep their and my stuff safe and how I like my beer in a glass with lots of ice.

The boat is big enough that another couple can disappear and if they want to just chill out and read a book for 2 or 3 days….well it’s my pleasure to serve them.

If things start to get a bit uncomfortable weather wise I anticipate that and change destinations to make life easy for everyone.

Oh and no rug rats! Children should never be seen or heard on any voyage over 2 hours in duration

Again! …I choose wisely

__________________
Pelagic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 06:47   #19
CF Adviser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wherever our boat is; Playa Zaragoza, Isla Margarita
Boat: 1994 Solaris Sunstream 40
Posts: 2,439
Space is not an issue on my boat either - although, despite 3 separate staterooms, 2 head compartments and a separate tub/shower compartment, I nevertheless limit the numbers for anything more than daysails or a single night out anchoring to one other couple. Like everyone else, I too believe that I have chosen my friends wisely; nevertheless, I have no desire to 'serve' anyone.

People who are invited out for more than a daysail are advised (in writing) of the following:

1. We are not a 'passenger' ship and everyone aboard should consider themselves crew.
2. The duties of the crew will not be onerous (and in most conditions I am willing to share/teach helming, sail trim etc. with anyone who is interested) and the focus will be on leisure. THAT BEING SAID, the skipper has not only the last word, in times of crisis/tight situations he has the only word on issues concerning the boat, its handling, its navigation, and any changes in destination/itinerary.
3. Crew receive, in advance, a description of the size and type of bag that is permissable and recommendations for the clothing/toiletries that will be required. DECK SHOES ARE MANDATORY. If anyone has a tendancy towards motion sickness, they are advised to bring and take their chosen medication prior to departure. If they feel that they are suffering from motion sickness, they are to advise the skipper, stay on deck and look to the horizon.
4. Crew are asked NOT to bring desserts, main courses, fruit or snacks unless they are specifically asked to do so. Beer should only be brought in cans. Gifts are not only unnecessary, they are generally unwelcome due to space limitations. Their company and a good time are the only gifts that we are interested in.
5. Crew receive written copies of the rules and written instructions on the use of the heads and showers (and the importance of conservation) prior to the trip; upon arrival, they are instructed again on the use of the head and showers.
5. Everything is cleaned up immediately after a meal unless conditions do not permit the same. Those who cook are exempt from clean-up duties.
6. Crew are instructed to stay out of the line of site of the helmsperson and first mate on docking UNLESS they are specifically asked in advance to perform a certain task. So too during the reefing of sails, navigation in tight quarters, anchoring and at any other time requested by the skipper.
7. And while I am personally in favour of the legalization of marijuana, ABSOLUTELY NO DRUGS are permitted on board.

That is it unless we will be having to clear immigration/customs to another country during the course of the trip (in which case they are asked to bring multiple copies of their passport and copies of prescriptions for all prescription medication).

If it sounds draconian, so be it. I have never heard of anyone who felt insulted. Rather, most like the thought of being crew rather than passengers. Most appreciated specific instructions and knowledge in advance of their arrival. For people who will be on board for longer periods, we have had tshirts made with the name of the boat and 'crew' silkscreened on as keepsakes, but also to subconsciously reinforce their role.

Brad
__________________
Southern Star is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 08:10   #20
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2006
Boat: CT54
Posts: 358
Images: 3
This is exactly the type of information I was hoping for.
Before going through this I was of the mind that the friends we picked to go with us would not have to have rules set down for them since many of them were what I considered boaters but I was wrong and that was not because I had misread there character. I was wrong because these people (including myself) was not aware of everything that come up when a large group of people inhabit a small space.
I believe that if we only have 1 other couple along that rules would not have to be implemented but with a total of 9 people, over a 6 day period, rules should have been set out well before departed so that everyone was clear.
I am not sure if I would ever want to have a large group of people aboard again but if so I will definately use many of the rules that have been stated on this thread.
Jackie
__________________
jackiepitts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 09:13   #21
Senior Cruiser
 
Therapy's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: The Jon boat still, plus a 2007 SeaCat.
Posts: 6,894
Images: 4
Southern Star,

I would be happy to crew for you.
__________________
Therapy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 09:15   #22
Moderator Emeritus
 
Pblais's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hayes, VA
Boat: Gozzard 36
Posts: 8,700
Images: 15
Send a message via Skype™ to Pblais
Most of it is not so much rules but information about how things need to be done and where things are and the technical complexities of the boat.
__________________
Paul Blais
s/v Bright Eyes Gozzard 36
37 15.7 N 76 28.9 W
Pblais is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 09:42   #23
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 4,413
Great Topic! Guests are a pleasure and a problem.

Those who know boats and especially sailors can be a real joy. You don't have to explain lots to them. They know the basics and use their own powers of observation to see ho "it's done" on your (my) boat and usually ask intelligent questions.

Those who don't know boats can be a liability, a safety hazard as well as good company and perhaps even decent "crew". The range of permutations here is vast. But mechanical people on board as guests mearn quickly and can be helpful and "get it". Non mechanical people need to learn the basics about using the head, saving water and electricity, holding on (what to hold and what not to hold on to), where to be when there's "action" (out of the way). Providing non sailors with a list of what to bring and how much and why type of bag and shoes and so forth is essential. They haven't a clue. Ladies can show up with hard luggage and high heels and cruise wear.

Guests who like to help might realize that they can do kitchen stuff - prepare food and clean up. Yes and no...as this is very different on a sail boat and especially underway! They waste water doing dishes and don't get how to prepare food on the tilt.

You might be able to get them to steer (if there are no boats around) or tail a line from a winch or even grind until you say STOP, but there's not a lot an unskilled person can do which won't get you all into trouble if they mess up.

Usually I tell the landlubbers to do nothing but be pleasant and stay out of the way, Hold on, drink fluids and use sun protection and enjoy letting me do all the work. I don't even trust them with cleaning!

And unless they are good company I am more like a cruise director working for THEIR pleasure. If they don't have the sense to offer to treat us to a meal ashore, or have brought sandwiches or something, they won't be coming back on board. They're the worst.

But have experienced sailor's aboard is a real pleasure and not only can you relax and let someone else "watch and worry" for a few, but you can learn something from these old salts... and they can actually "work the boat"... sail trim, line handling, navigation and so on. It's so rare that we single handers can get to close our eyes and relax underway that having THESE types of guests is a special treat.

Landlubber guests are like in laws/relatives, you have to endure them and do so as little as possible.
__________________
Sandero is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 09:52   #24
Moderator Emeritus
 
FrankZ's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chesapeake Bay
Boat: Bristol 35 Bellesa
Posts: 13,565
Images: 1
My only real rule for guests is that when the boat is moving we are wearing life jackets. You may remove it, but keep it at hand, if you go into the cabin. I don't invite anyone that I feel I need rules for that concern behavior.

And yes, life jackets even when there is no wind and flat seas and you are sitting in the cockpit holding on. I am pretty anal about them.
__________________
Sing to a sailor's courage, Sing while the elbows bend,
A ruby port your harbor, Raise three sheets to the wind.
......................-=Krynnish drinking song=-
FrankZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 10:08   #25
CF Adviser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wherever our boat is; Playa Zaragoza, Isla Margarita
Boat: 1994 Solaris Sunstream 40
Posts: 2,439
Thanks Therapy, although after re-reading it, it sounds incredibly officious to me. In my line of work (as a prosecuting attorney) I found that it always paid to be upfront with people about the potential problems and the rules of evidence in order to ensure that they did not have unrealistic expectations. My life's experience there has just carried over into this environment. For me, it has worked so as to minimize problems and disappointments for both them and myself. And if they arrive with some trepidation about sailing with Captain Bligh, then the reality of their sailing experience is almost invariably more positive than they were expecting.

Once they get onboard, get the brief (and not terribly technical) tour and then get stowed away, its pretty much all smiles and cooperation. Yes, I will occasionally be both head cook and bottlewasher. And yes, in addition to being the skipper, I do tend to play the part of bartender, entertainment director and sailing instructor (trying to be positive unless a situation clearly dictates otherwise). I also tend to seek destinations that will not be overly challenging to neophytes who, afterall, are hoping for a little holiday from their everyday lives. I ensure that there is plenty of time for sundowners (and beyond) and for good food.

Yes, setting out rules in advance (and in writing) saves all of us embarrassment and difficulties later on, but it also tends to reduce expectations and thus improve the actual experience (or at least, the perception of it) when things go well.

Brad
__________________
Southern Star is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 10:31   #26
CF Adviser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Wherever our boat is; Playa Zaragoza, Isla Margarita
Boat: 1994 Solaris Sunstream 40
Posts: 2,439
I hear you Defjef, and of course, what I have written is directed towards neophytes rather than experienced sailors/cruisers. Nevertheless, I rather enjoy taking neophytes out and sharing with them an experience - hell a way of life that I love. And the rewards can be incredible.

Who would not enjoy seeing a couple of close friends who may be besieged by pressures at home, lying romantically together alone on the foredeck watching an incredible sunset (or array of stars). Who does not take pleasure in watching worries or trepidation turn to smiles when newcomers receive a compliment for keeping the boat (relatively) on course while at the helm. Who does not cherish watching your friends' excitement at entering a harbour with which you have become bored by familiarity. And yes, who does not take pride in discovering that some have truly caught the bug and have later moved on to buying their own boats.

Afterall, isn't that part of what friendship is all about - sharing the good times and life's little (and sometimes not so little) rewards with the people you care about? Even if it is occasionally inconvenient.

Brad
__________________
Southern Star is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 10:33   #27
Senior Cruiser
 
Therapy's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: W Florida
Boat: The Jon boat still, plus a 2007 SeaCat.
Posts: 6,894
Images: 4
SS.
I agree.
I am not as laid back as most.
I tend to try to anticipate and prevent.
Maybe 25 years in the OR helped me be that way or that is why I ended up in the OR.
Dunno.
I have been Bligh-ish.
So far, no one has been injured (I was going to say "hurt" but........... ) and only one head plugged up.......and it was I who did it .
__________________
Therapy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 19:06   #28
CF Adviser
 
Pelagic's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 6,895
My approach is very much like Paul’s

When I read Brad’s later posts about sharing the joys of neophytes tasting the life, I can see that he is a very good, but cautious host.

Perhaps those who sometimes race and push their boats tend to need more control than those who gently cruise and it is easy to confuse the 2

After a lifetime at sea, perhaps I am more relaxed and cognizant of the fact that too many “Rules” will inhibit a person from participating for fear of doing something wrong.

So I avoid the “R” word, teach them that the dynamics of being at sea requires them to always think of the worst case scenario and to simply ask or judge accordingly. I openly share my thought processes in making a decision without dominating the conversation and use examples of my own past mistakes to highlight the reasons.

You learn to judge the “F-U quotient” for every guest by their nervous impatience to help and impress… or a desire to get into “racing mode”

For those with high numbers, or who nervously need more direction, I exert a bit more control without embarrassing them. Luckily for me because of my professional sailor’s background, I am never challenged, but I do openly solicit advice and ideas on non safety issues.

Lastly, unless we are clearing in/out of countries with them, they are never Crew…they are our Guests.

My girlfriend and I can easily sail the boat, launch the tender ourselves. Since we are already cooking and cleaning up….2 more plates is not a big deal.

If they want to help….great, but why expect it? If you had guests stay over at your home would you expect them to mow the lawn or wash the kitchen floor? Driving a boat is more relaxed than driving a car, so why embellish it with nautical voodoo? (whodo? …youdo…lol)

That way, we never focus on the little irritating things that neophytes do when they come into “your” world, but instead celebrate their friendship.

They are of course labelled afterwards as either “high or low maintenance”..... but hey... aren’t we all?
__________________
Pelagic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 19:34   #29
Long Range Cruiser
 
MarkJ's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Australian living on "Sea Life" currently in England.
Boat: Beneteau 393 "Sea Life"
Posts: 12,828
Images: 25
Each to their own. I won't clean up after anyone else cooking. I cook better than most plus I clean up as I go. Others create an indigestable fiasco and leave the galley like Caligulas bath.

I must say we haven't actually had any visitors on this boat so I don't know what I would have as rules. If its anything like at home we like to be the hosts and get our guests to really relax and enjoy themselves

We have decided that visitors will only be on the boat for a short time set in advancve 2 weeks max and 1 week normal.
__________________
Notes on a Circumnavigation.
OurLifeAtSea.com

Somalia Pirates and our Convoy
MarkJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-06-2008, 21:00   #30
Registered User
 
Paul Ouellette's Avatar

Join Date: May 2004
Location: Windsor Ontario
Boat: Beneteau 36
Posts: 79
Group :

Have a look at our Ships Articles
__________________

__________________
Paul Ouellette is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:04.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.