West Coast US to East Coast via Cape Horn

[BandB]

Originally Posted by jangann

I'd also advocate for women's sail training. I loved it. Here's what it taught me:

I never trust a man speaks for his gf on a forum like this; she's the one who should be on here asking the questions. Sorry. But I don't want you guys to get out in a nasty situation because she is trying to make you happy. I wouldn't even dream of what you're contemplating without years of experience and a badass boat. Taking a novice, uncertain person would make me very frightened. I wouldn't trust a captain who suggested it, no matter his own sailing experience. Each person on a trip must be able to confidently make the trip on their own. She doesn't sound ready for that. Don't mean to bust your chops though, just worried for your safety.

Great she is interested in the idea. Start *on the beaten path*, then decide to get off it. I mean, just cruising at all is off the beaten path, isn't it?

Frankly, I think you may be choosing the most sure way to sour her on sailing. I don't care how much one is thinking they're like it or willing, it doesn't matter until they're in doing it. Chances of it being truly enjoyable are exponentially greater the more gradually you build up to it. It's one thing to be adventurous in theory, quite another when all the negatives hit as well. What you're considering is a bit like taking someone who has said they're ready to run and skipping jogging, or a mile a day and then two or three and working up and saying let's do a marathon next week or make it easy, a half marathon.

The majority of people with as little experience as she has (and notice I said people as this aspect isn't male/female) would not complete the entire trip you have in mind. Some would but by the time they did would have had more than their fill of sailing and when you then spoke of circumnavigation they'd say "Have fun." Only a few would thrive on that trip as a starting place.

[MarkJ]

Originally Posted by TacomaSailor

When you get to Panama your GF will have either:

1 - decided she loves sailing and multi-day at sea legs
2 - she does not want to do any overnight legs but wants to keep sailing
3 - she hates sailing

If 1 - then keep going south
If 2 - head east thru the canal
If 3 - find another GF or sell the boat

By Panama, too, you will have learned what the Horn, Magellan Straits, and Drakes Channel are. And I think you may well see that voyage for what it is: one for specialist ultra experienced sailors in extremely well built, well equipped boats.





Mark

[BandB]

Originally Posted by jangann

I'd also advocate for women's sail training. I loved it. Here's what it taught me:

I never trust a man speaks for his gf on a forum like this; she's the one who should be on here asking the questions. Sorry. But I don't want you guys to get out in a nasty situation because she is trying to make you happy. I wouldn't even dream of what you're contemplating without years of experience and a badass boat. Taking a novice, uncertain person would make me very frightened. I wouldn't trust a captain who suggested it, no matter his own sailing experience. Each person on a trip must be able to confidently make the trip on their own. She doesn't sound ready for that. Don't mean to bust your chops though, just worried for your safety.

Great she is interested in the idea. Start *on the beaten path*, then decide to get off it. I mean, just cruising at all is off the beaten path, isn't it?

Wifey B: Oh trust me, I'm the big macho man and you're the poor little girl and I'll take good care of you and make all the decisions. You going to tell her about those who haven't made it up front? Tell her about Rebel Heart? Give her stories to read of those who were lost at sea making the trip you're talking about? Tell her what she'd have to do if you became incapacitated? Tell her how exhausted and miserable she'll be after several successive days of 24 hour cruising and days and nights of no decent sleep, just brief naps as best as she could sleep in the conditions? Talk to her about the worst weather that might hit? About how it will feel being scared for her life, not feeling like she is going to survive, feeling like the next wave will be the one to wash you away? Really, are you going to honestly and fully disclose to her all aspects and all possibilities?

Honestly if you were trying to scare her away and out of your life, you might just have come up with a perfect plan. When she finds out you didn't warn and tell her all the negatives. When she's throwing up so hard day after day she thinks she's losing her insides completely. When she has an infection but no medicine or access to it? What kind of medical kit are you taking? Any training in how to use it?

Jangann said she wasn't trying to bust your chops, but I won't claim I'm not, because frankly I am. Life with someone else is an equal partnership and you're acting a bit like a majority owner. Oh and by the way. If she's unprepared for this and miserable at some point along the way, be sure to know that she will make you miserable too. Why you might both be wanting to push the other overboard by the time you round the horn.

I'm fully invested in cruising with my hubby. We're equals. Equal training and desire. Power boaters. Transoceanic in our future. But neither of us would start there. Coastal, Bahamas, Alaska, Panama Canal, then Caribbean, Canada. Working up to it so we will be prepared. Had we encountered the waters we hit in the PNW two weeks ago on our first trip out, we'd have been totally unprepared and might suddenly have had some misgivings. But we were both ready for them. We knew how to handle the boat, what it would take, what we were capable of. There was a time when 6 to 8 feet was huge to us. But now only a little bumpy. Building skills brings courage, real and not fake courage. Easy for me to say, oh I'm fine with "that" when I don't really have any idea what "that" is like. How many continuous cruises over 48 hours have you done rotating shifts, mostly single handed therefore? Does she have any idea what it's like to be at the helm with you asleep, looking out on the expanse of nothing, hearing every rattle, feeling the wind building, the waves getting bigger and bigger?

Please rethink your approach to this.

[SmartMove]

Originally Posted by BandB

Wifey B: Oh trust me, I'm the big macho man and you're the poor little girl and I'll take good care of you and make all the decisions. You going to tell her about those who haven't made it up front? Tell her about Rebel Heart? Give her stories to read of those who were lost at sea making the trip you're talking about? Tell her what she'd have to do if you became incapacitated? Tell her how exhausted and miserable she'll be after several successive days of 24 hour cruising and days and nights of no decent sleep, just brief naps as best as she could sleep in the conditions? Talk to her about the worst weather that might hit? About how it will feel being scared for her life, not feeling like she is going to survive, feeling like the next wave will be the one to wash you away? Really, are you going to honestly and fully disclose to her all aspects and all possibilities?



Honestly if you were trying to scare her away and out of your life, you might just have come up with a perfect plan. When she finds out you didn't warn and tell her all the negatives. When she's throwing up so hard day after day she thinks she's losing her insides completely. When she has an infection but no medicine or access to it? What kind of medical kit are you taking? Any training in how to use it?



Jangann said she wasn't trying to bust your chops, but I won't claim I'm not, because frankly I am. Life with someone else is an equal partnership and you're acting a bit like a majority owner. Oh and by the way. If she's unprepared for this and miserable at some point along the way, be sure to know that she will make you miserable too. Why you might both be wanting to push the other overboard by the time you round the horn.



I'm fully invested in cruising with my hubby. We're equals. Equal training and desire. Power boaters. Transoceanic in our future. But neither of us would start there. Coastal, Bahamas, Alaska, Panama Canal, then Caribbean, Canada. Working up to it so we will be prepared. Had we encountered the waters we hit in the PNW two weeks ago on our first trip out, we'd have been totally unprepared and might suddenly have had some misgivings. But we were both ready for them. We knew how to handle the boat, what it would take, what we were capable of. There was a time when 6 to 8 feet was huge to us. But now only a little bumpy. Building skills brings courage, real and not fake courage. Easy for me to say, oh I'm fine with "that" when I don't really have any idea what "that" is like. How many continuous cruises over 48 hours have you done rotating shifts, mostly single handed therefore? Does she have any idea what it's like to be at the helm with you asleep, looking out on the expanse of nothing, hearing every rattle, feeling the wind building, the waves getting bigger and bigger?



Please rethink your approach to this.

Very well stated Wifey B! OP please take this to heart, your plans are not a good way to start out. Others have posted some good alternatives, for your GFs sake please consider them.

Robyn

[downunder]

The bible for sailing Patagonia.

http://www.amazon.com/Patagonia-Tier.../dp/888598634X

Blog of a couple that sailed the opposite way from Canada. Now have written a book.

Sequitur


Cheers

[mdidomenico]

If the goal is really to get over to the east coast, why not sail to san diego and haul the boat to texas. I'm not an expert, but I suspect the costs for trucking would be comparable to a sail around the horn. the price of your sanity might be worth at least as much compared to an unhappy girlfriend...

[Paul Annapolis]

I believe the OP previously stated something to the effect that to his girlfriend, comfort meant being in sight of land. That seems to fly in the face of just about everything that would mean comfort to most sailors--especially to those that wish to go to far flung places including Cape Horn. Land is the biggest danger to sailors is it not? Running into it is not likely to happen when you are out of sight of it. I'm a bit confused here.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Paul Annapolis

I believe the OP previously stated something to the effect that to his girlfriend, comfort meant being in sight of land. That seems to fly in the face of just about everything that would mean comfort to most sailors--especially to those that wish to go to far flung places including Cape Horn. Land is the biggest danger to sailors is it not? Running into it is not likely to happen when you are out of sight of it. I'm a bit confused here.

Well, you can be within site and not run into it. She probably doesn't mean 50' or something. Even if she has to us binoculars. There's a feeling if you can see land, you can get there and you're not lost at sea. At first seeing land on a chart doesn't reassure you. But you can slowly introduce her to the radar and the charts and show her how she can use it to see the land. And GPS. So she'll understand land is easy to find, if you use the equipment. Maybe first time you pull out a bit further, have her, with your help, tell you how to go to get back to land or get to the next stop.

Be very attentive to her reactions and you'll learn what she enjoys, doesn't enjoy, is trying and will get better at, and is probably not going to be comfortable with for a long time. Same in water conditions. 2-3' first. How's that? Well, how about 4. Ok? 4-6'. That's too rough. Ok, we'll go closer where it's lighter. You do realize we're completely safe at this height, just not enjoyable for you.

I don't see any part of the Panama Canal journey that would be really bothersome to her if the weather openings were nice. He needs to be very picky on weather till she gets use to it. She'll get to see pieces of several different countries. Make sure she gets to enjoy the towns you come upon. The magnificence of the canal will be great and out rule any fear I'd think. It's not scary.

And don't hurry. Give her long nights, stay over places, let her see the beauty along the way, shop in a local store for a trinket or tshirt. Experience local food. That's the two parts, one part sailing, one part seeing and experiencing.

[skipmac]

Maybe a compromise. My wife is not interested in doing long passages so our plan is for me to get the boat to a fun destination then she will fly in and meet me there. After that day sails and short hops are just fine.