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Old 10-09-2013, 08:25   #61
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Re: Teaching Wife To Sail

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Originally Posted by Andy73 View Post


I've found this to be true through out my marriage. Times when we discuss things where one of us is starting from a very low knowledge point are pretty challenging compared to when we have built up our own ideas first.

Seems counter intuitive sometimes... She (or I) having learned a different method would seem to be a way to start problems... but the basic confidence of knowing you know something about the subject seems to pave the way for better communication and teamwork.


Sure -- and she *just might have learned somethng usefull!* It happens.
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Old 11-09-2013, 01:14   #62
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Re: Teaching Wife To Sail

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Carstenb--

We downloaded the videos you mentioned- they are great! Even my husband watched and learned a few things! He just lays it out so easily with great explanations- just what I was looking for! Got them on the IPad - taking it with us. Dave finished installing our generator yesterday so the boat is finally ready and we are heading out for fuel- and lessons, lol.

Wish me luck.

Monica
Hi Monica,

Hope it all went well (on the water). Part of my daytime job is to design sailing courses and teach instructors ow to teach them. One thing I impress upon them is the need to get their students to understand that they need to practice what they have learned on the course (sounds like a no-brainer - but it isn't).

Rewards for practicing are a good thing. AS I noted, make an agreement with your husband that today YOU are the helmsman. Agree which docking/sail maneuvers you will practice. Gain agreement that unless death is imminent, he will let you make your mistakes (you will - so did he when he was learning).

After the day is over, treat yourself to something both of you really like, a nice dinner, good wine etc. Put a bottle of champagne in the fridge and and promise yourself that when you have performed a certain number of the maneuvers without incident - you'll pop the cork when you go ashore.

That is all to give you some incentive.

And when the day comes that you feel you can manage the boat - invite some girlfriends for a "girls only" weekend. You will then be the skipper and will be forced to do everything - you simply won't believe how much you will learn form this weekend.

good luck and fair winds
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Old 11-09-2013, 11:05   #63
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Re: Teaching Wife To Sail

I've been sailing with my wife for about 30 years. She enjoys sailing very much but hasn't retained much of anything, even the very basics. She handles the helm while I'm running around doing most everything. I keep reminding her that when I figure out the new autopilot, I won't need her at all!
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Old 11-09-2013, 13:20   #64
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Re: Teaching Wife To Sail

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Originally Posted by carstenb View Post
Hi Monica,

Hope it all went well (on the water). Part of my daytime job is to design sailing courses and teach instructors ow to teach them. One thing I impress upon them is the need to get their students to understand that they need to practice what they have learned on the course (sounds like a no-brainer - but it isn't).

Rewards for practicing are a good thing. AS I noted, make an agreement with your husband that today YOU are the helmsman. Agree which docking/sail maneuvers you will practice. Gain agreement that unless death is imminent, he will let you make your mistakes (you will - so did he when he was learning).

After the day is over, treat yourself to something both of you really like, a nice dinner, good wine etc. Put a bottle of champagne in the fridge and and promise yourself that when you have performed a certain number of the maneuvers without incident - you'll pop the cork when you go ashore.

That is all to give you some incentive.

And when the day comes that you feel you can manage the boat - invite some girlfriends for a "girls only" weekend. You will then be the skipper and will be forced to do everything - you simply won't believe how much you will learn form this weekend.

good luck and fair winds
Excellent advice, especially the PRACTICE, but also the agreement, incentive, and the "girls only" day; I wouldn't start with a whole weekend, myself. But he's right, you will learn something you didn't think you'd learn.

And to the fellow from Long Island who runs around doing everything and threatens his wife with replacement by an autopilot: golly, what incentive is that dismissive attitude for her?
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Old 11-09-2013, 14:32   #65
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Re: Teaching Wife To Sail

And to the fellow from Long Island who runs around doing everything and threatens his wife with replacement by an autopilot: golly, what incentive is that dismissive attitude for her?[/QUOTE]

Ann,
It was a promise, not a threat. Everyone's different - she wants to be "dismissed", so she can relax that much more. She can't wait for me to use the autopilot. She'd rather serve refreshments to our guests. I guess my point is that not all spouses WANT to learn how to sail and are just happy to be out on a sailboat.
Andy
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Old 11-09-2013, 14:37   #66
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Re: Teaching Wife To Sail

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And to the fellow from Long Island who runs around doing everything and threatens his wife with replacement by an autopilot: golly, what incentive is that dismissive attitude for her?
Ann,
It was a promise, not a threat. Everyone's different - she wants to be "dismissed", so she can relax that much more. She can't wait for me to use the autopilot. She'd rather serve refreshments to our guests. I guess my point is that not all spouses WANT to learn how to sail and are just happy to be out on a sailboat.
Andy[/QUOTE]

Fair enough--different strokes, etc.
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