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Old 10-07-2012, 21:23   #46
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

If I didn't want them aboard I'd just say "Sorry, this isn't a good time". Then seqway to something like "well, got to get back to what I was doing..." and wish them well.

Once you turn them down you kinda have to end it soon after and go your own way. It can get awkward if you linger and continue to chat very much longer.
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Old 10-07-2012, 21:26   #47
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Wow, some real different opinions here, of course that goes with everything. Have not been asked this yet as am a new boat owner. I appreciate the thread and the responses. gives me some food for thought. I think I will come up with a standard response for this unless it is someone I have gotten to know. You never know, these days, who just wants to check the place out to see if it might be a good target at a later time. I like the "sorry, my insurance won't allow it thing". I am very social! My husband, not so much. Oh, so much for me to learn. A new lifestyle, indeed.
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Old 10-07-2012, 21:58   #48
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Boy, we have a ton of work to do on our boat, so we don't just sit around and shoot the breeze very much. However, so many slip neighbors stop by to chat in the middle of working that I really value the weekdays when the weekenders aren't there. It's really bad. One time I was clinging to outside of the flybridge cowling like a spider monkey, upside down, hanging from the wind deflector from my toes, screwdriver in my teeth, holding a wire stripper under my chin, rewiring the nav light. Yes - right at that moment somebody strolls over to shoot the breeze. I'M WORKING HERE! It's amazing to me that so many people can't size up a situation and notice that its probably not a good time to talk about the weather or if slip A17 will sell his boat this month for more than asking price. Offer to help, or give me a break.

On the other hand, a pilot friend of mine always asks "permission to come aboard" whenever we invite him over. Cool relic of nautical formality, although he does it half joking. So much of these etiquette questions wouldn't be necessary if more people could size up a situation with some sensitivity.
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Old 10-07-2012, 22:06   #49
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

I think "Sorry she's not presentable right now, maybe in a few years after I have her fixed up" It's not brain surgery. I know some people that love to show off there boat, they love to share there experiences of all ther hard work. Others who have beutifull boats never have anyone on board. It's your boat you have the right to do as you please, same as you would do with you house or home.
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Old 12-07-2012, 03:09   #50
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

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Why did they have to ask permission after you had invited them?
We often will invite folks to swing by for a chat... And sometimes they do come. But who knows, perhaps the moment they chose is the exact moment we decide to oil the decks... so I guess that would be a good reason for asking for permission to come aboard, even tho they were invited...
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Old 12-07-2012, 05:50   #51
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

Okay....as a reset here...

I wasn't asking re: people who have been invited aboard. That's different. We've already had a number of invited guests aboard, not only for rum and tequila but also for some sailing. (Right, Tropic Cat?) I was specifically asking about complete strangers who walk up from some unknown origin ( i.e. NOT the slip neighbor I've been nodding to for the past day or so) and start up a conversation and then ask if it's all right to step aboard. in the couple of cases where this happened on our shakedown/delivery cruise, I felt awkward and really didn't know how to say "no", and don't like feeling like I am being rude. I've gotten a lot of good input here, and I thank you.

And the replies tell me that I am not the only one who has experienced this uneasy feeling of being manipulated by someone who wants to look around our boat, for whatever reason.
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Old 12-07-2012, 06:36   #52
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

I had a stranger at the dock in New London CT ask personal questions about where we live, how long are we out for, etc.

Was on the fence about whether to be confrontational (e.g. none of your damned business) or to give wrong answers. In the end it was a little of both. Started with wrong answers, ended with NOYDB ...Slept with one eye open that night.
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Old 12-07-2012, 07:30   #53
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

I find the actual phrase "Permission to come aboard" off putting. If I was interested in looking at someone's boat I would just say something like, "that's a great boat", and let the conversation go from there. Unless you are complete social idiot, I would think that it would be pretty easy to tell if it's okay to politely ask or infer that you would love to look around sometime.

Then again, I haven't been sailing very long, and I find a lot of the nautical language unnecessary.
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:13   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Canibul
Okay....as a reset here...

I wasn't asking re: people who have been invited aboard. That's different. We've already had a number of invited guests aboard, not only for rum and tequila but also for some sailing. (Right, Tropic Cat?) I was specifically asking about complete strangers who walk up from some unknown origin ( i.e. NOT the slip neighbor I've been nodding to for the past day or so) and start up a conversation and then ask if it's all right to step aboard.
I've never had a complete stranger ask to come aboard. I'd give a clear and firm "No" with no worries about if they thought the direct answer was rude. IMO a stranger would be rude to invite themselves aboard, but if it makes you feel better you could give it to them with a smile (and probably a slight look like he/she was a dumbass).

Frank
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Old 12-07-2012, 08:31   #55
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

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Then again, I haven't been sailing very long, and I find a lot of the nautical language unnecessary.
Like most technical disciplines (engineering, medical, military, etc.) sailing developed a precise efficient jargon to comunicate information. This form most likely reached its pinnacle during the days of the square riggers where every piece of rigging and sail had a unique name.

There seems to be natural reaction to distain the jargon when entering a new discipline.

I would bet that the more years you sail the more you will embrace the nautical language.
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Old 12-07-2012, 09:22   #56
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Canibul View Post
Okay....as a reset here...

I wasn't asking re: people who have been invited aboard. That's different. We've already had a number of invited guests aboard, not only for rum and tequila but also for some sailing. (Right, Tropic Cat?) I was specifically asking about complete strangers who walk up from some unknown origin ( i.e. NOT the slip neighbor I've been nodding to for the past day or so) and start up a conversation and then ask if it's all right to step aboard. in the couple of cases where this happened on our shakedown/delivery cruise, I felt awkward and really didn't know how to say "no", and don't like feeling like I am being rude. I've gotten a lot of good input here, and I thank you.

And the replies tell me that I am not the only one who has experienced this uneasy feeling of being manipulated by someone who wants to look around our boat, for whatever reason.
Think of it this way, if someone knocked on your door and asked to come in your house would you think you were being rude saying no?
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Old 12-07-2012, 09:49   #57
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

I've always handled it this way....When someone asks to board I reply," Would you mind going to the Marina Store and buying me 2 blocks of ice before you board? Answer yes and get it, you're welcome aboard ice in hand. If they answer no, I usually turn and go below until they walk away LOL!

In an anchorage I generally ask which boat they're from before I allow them to board from a dinghy. If I'm working I say so, and ask if they would like to visit another time or day when I could speak with them at more length that is convinent for both of us.

I'm more of an 'anchor out type' and am only dockside for fuel and water at off peak times. In a boatyard hauled out I just keep working and don't accept visitors unless they are asking to lend a hand, hand me a cold drink, or brought me a pizza to eat LOL!
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Old 12-07-2012, 11:37   #58
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

the request "permission to board" didnt come from yachtieville. is a proper way for one captain to ask of another captain if it is good to come aboard for a visit--is proper respect for the boat as well as the captain.
i figger if someone doesnt have the proper respect for me or my boat by requesting permission to board then they do not need to be in my boat or near me. i do allow for workers and other souls i requested to be here--but the rest can bludi well ask my permission to board my boat thankyou

i learned my manners from a merchant mariner who was tallships and steamships round the world...not from a snooty yachtie
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Old 12-07-2012, 15:40   #59
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

I can understand the term in a formal environment, but I still find it odd. The one time someone asked it on a boat I was on, I was finishing up a lesson on the instructor's boat. A previous student recognized the instructor, and excitedly asked for "Permission to come aboard!". He jumped on and chatted up a storm. There went my debrief.

Had he asked "Are you in the middle of something?", the instructor could have said yes, drop by in a half hour. Maybe denying "permission to board" would have seemed like too much of a snub. At some point, plain English should be allowed.

BTW, I agree completely in the use of nautical language in terms of specifics, be it boat parts or nav terms.

As a side note, I think a lot of police departments have adopted plain English on the radio in lieu of the old 10 codes.
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Old 12-07-2012, 19:20   #60
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Re: "Permission to come aboard"?

I am SO glad this thread was started. Just last week a guy walking the dock came up our dock alongside the boat and asked my husband point blank, “Can I come aboard? I have boat shoes on.” As if boat shoes were all he needed to walk into our lives!! Hearing this down below I called up to my husband, and he gave the excuse, “my wife is busy etc.” We do not know this person, nor did he introduce himself, nor did he say which slip he had his boat in. My husband has been restoring our boat for many years, and naturally there has been interest. There have also been other requests to see our boat, and mainly we have given the excuse that it is under construction and not safe. Mostly I know the person who asks by face, but I still am amazed that someone inviting him or herself aboard usually does not even say, “Hi, I’m so & so.” Forget the tools and stuff everywhere, just going down a companionway on an unfamiliar boat can be tricky. No matter which way you want to go with this, it’s up to the captain of the boat. It’s not up to the person asking, who after all, is imposing on your time, privacy and sense of goodwill. Intrusive and Intruder have a similar ring, don’t you think? By the way, the guy stuck around to ask questions, had his foot on the rail (onboard) and again asked if it was okay, "I have boat shoes on" (polite or pushy?), then finished up the conversation with a warning to have a big crew when we're ready to leave because it's "dangerous out there."
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