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Old 04-03-2015, 14:17   #46
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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I am now nearing the opening of my retirement window in 1 year. I realize it not the money that is the issue but the idea of not working( or competing) or being a significant player in my field. I cannot wrap my mind around the idea. Even fantasies of docking in Simpson Bay and hanging out at the Simpson's Bay Yacht Club are not enough to motivate me to retire yet.
Not surprising in a venue like this to find support for the OP's dilemma about her dad.

I had a woman friend in a similar position to KHJackson. She continued to work till she got it out of her system. I think I'll trust KHJ to know what's best for himself. It's important to realize, cruising isn't for everyone, as well as that there are many different "faces" to cruising. For instance, there's a huge difference in the communities of lifestyle cruisers compared to the "adventure holiday quick circumnavigation" cruisers.

To the OP, I would say that IME, the land based person is ill equipped to understand why anyone would want to leave the predominant culture. You do not owe anyone an explanation. If your Dad wants you to stay around (for whatever reasons), trying to make you financially fearful may seem like a good persuader to him to attain what he wants.

Ann
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Old 04-03-2015, 14:37   #47
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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Even fantasies of docking in Simpson Bay and hanging out at the Simpson's Bay Yacht Club are not enough to motivate me to retire yet.
Thats your Fantasy..??
Keep working lad.. your not a well man..
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Old 04-03-2015, 15:11   #48
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

Screw it do it. I'm pushing 72 and neck surgery put me on the hill at 61. So go for it.
Life is to damn short to worry about the little ****.
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Old 04-03-2015, 15:38   #49
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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Regarding people don't get it. For non-sailors, the idea of being out of sight of land for several weeks on a small boat with only yourself to rely on is terrifying. Don't forget, very few people in today's western societies have tried being totally self-reliant for several weeks.

Not just "non-sailors", most boaters will never do that either and find it terrifying. In fact if you don't consider it that to some degree something might be wrong with you
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Old 04-03-2015, 15:38   #50
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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Screw it do it. I'm pushing 72 and neck surgery put me on the hill at 61. So go for it.
Life is to damn short to worry about the little ****.
Learn from this man.

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Old 04-03-2015, 16:10   #51
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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I am now nearing the opening of my retirement window in 1 year. I realize it not the money that is the issue but the idea of not working( or competing) or being a significant player in my field. I cannot wrap my mind around the idea. Even fantasies of docking in Simpson Bay and hanging out at the Simpson's Bay Yacht Club are not enough to motivate me to retire yet.
I did quite a few internships/coops when I was in college. My first job was in Personnel, which I thought at first, was the worst place to go since it was not in my field of study and the job sounded horrible. But it was a job, it was a start, so off I went. BEST JOB I could have had at that age. The connections I made, and the things I learned have served me well to this day. The internships I had after that position where in my field but they were far less relevant than the job in Personnel!

The company I worked for was like a big family. People did NOT want to retire because it was leaving friends and self identity behind. Many retirees died within 18 months of leaving the company and I think it was because the left their identify, self worth, friends, and to some extent, their family behind.

We had one guy who had saved 6-9 months of vacation days. His wife wanted him to retire but he did not want too. It was suggested to burn some of his vacation time and see what it was like to be away from work and be with the wife full time. Have we heard that before? Well, he took off for 4-6 months, and surprisingly, decided to retire. We retired him from the company. He was back a few months later wanting his job back. He could not stay at home doing nothing and he needed something to do. The company rehired him.

Some people cannot retire. They have to have something to do. I am this way. I cannot do NOTHING. Not possible. But I certainly can retire from my job if I manage to not get laid off before retirement. I have plenty of things to do in my life, too many to do even if I lived to be 150. Nobody is irreplaceable to the Corporation. I have seen to many great people laid off with critical skill sets because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Just that simple.

There is nothing wrong with staying at work and working until one dies if that is what one wants to do. Some people really enjoy their work and I can understand it.

If I am lucky enough to have a Death Bed, I won't be thinking how great it was to get Project X done, I will be remembering the great experiences I had with family and friends. Places we visited and people we met. Project X paid for the memories but that is all.

Later,
Dan
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Old 04-03-2015, 16:13   #52
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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I am now nearing the opening of my retirement window in 1 year. I realize it not the money that is the issue but the idea of not working( or competing) or being a significant player in my field. I cannot wrap my mind around the idea.
You sound like both myself and my OH. If you're that senior at work, I would suggest you take a leave of absence, a period to decompress & recognize what the other part of life can be. Give yourself 3 or 6 months away. Then decide which life you prefer and make an informed decision about retiring & joining the cruising life. At the moment you're a gerbil on a treadmill--you can't stop running to think. In our cases we've both converted to being happy retirees and part-time sailors. It took a while to give up being "a significant player" in our fields, but we're happier now.

As far as people not getting it--I don't think anyone does until they've been there/done that. I'm sure that's why a good number of our close friends are sailors.
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Old 04-03-2015, 17:02   #53
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

I'm 64 and will retire in December.

A few years ago I alterd my position so that I would Work 40 hours, get paid 36, and bank the rest. That gave me about 8 weeks total vacation per year. That's a start.

My new job won't allow that, but I now work part time, Wednesday to Wednesday and have six days off, with a regular weekend in the middle. I find it is still too much.

I did take a 4 month sabatical to do a longish solo voyage. I found I could and did adapt to the boat bum life style easily.

Yet, I understand the emotional pull to stay connected with work, for money but also for self esteem and kinship. I always find transitions difficult, even if I know I'm leaving a poor situation to go to a better one, even if I am rejoining old colleagues.

When I go to work I see the occasional pencil necked geezer, about 90 years old, tottering in to work. Old suit, collar about 4 sizes too big, yellowed eyes, ugly tie.

I don't want that to be me.

There is a cycle to life, for me it is time to move over and let a young buck take my place in the traces. It's the only fair thing to do. I'll just have to sail off into the sunset and let them struggle on, oh my!

Now my Wife, on the other hand, is still fully engaged in her work and is struggling mightily with the concept of retirement. Really struggling hard. It's made for some tough times between us, not yet fully resolved.
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Old 04-03-2015, 18:40   #54
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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Here is one more vote for not caring what other people think about your plans (unless they have actual relevant skills or experience).
Most people live their entire lives within a narrow and artificial comfort zone, based around consumption, debt, etc. They may well get uncomfortable if you make them think about such things. Their natural defense will often be to mock any alternative ideas, try to keep you from proceeding, and so on.
This is cognitive dissonance - the brain defending its previously established beliefs, whatever the cost.
Ignore them!
I just got it.


It's not that you care why judgement people, your friends might think; it's the absence of compassionate dialogue.


We want to relate to our friends. Accumulate their suggestions, and their curiosities about the world.they're your friends and a part of you. You want to take that with you.you want to add that to the baggage you take onboard.

I get it.


Serve them some cake.
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Old 04-03-2015, 19:01   #55
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

Some people NEED people around them.

Others do not.

Simple.

Figure out who you are and why, then decide.

It's almost like the difference between the folks that marina hop vs. the anchor outs.

That's life.
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Old 05-03-2015, 00:44   #56
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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Not just "non-sailors", most boaters will never do that either and find it terrifying. In fact if you don't consider it that to some degree something might be wrong with you
Don, you're perfectly correct and anyone comtemplating sailing passages should give this a lot of thought (including making some "mini-passages of say 3-4 days at sea).

A couple I know, been sailing for years, wanted to get to the Med to sail in their retirement. Only one small hitch -- even though they had sailed for years - they had never sailed for a full 24 hours just the two of them, meaning they had never stood watch on watch.

They took some practice runs and are now happily sailing around in the MED.

But even they, who had been sailing for many years, found the prospect of being alone on the dog watch with the wind blowing 25-30 knots terrifying.
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Old 05-03-2015, 01:08   #57
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

Cthoops - we left when i turned 62. That was 7 years. My bros &sis do not understand and use to constantly critize me for not being in America; why would people want to go anywhere else. When they suggested we have a family reunion I said great and told them to hope a passenger ship and meet us at XYZ island. Have not heard from 2 of them since and that was 5 years ago.
In the meantime we have cruised both sides of the caribbean, crossed the atlantic and 2 years in the med. In the meantime a bro 4 years older than me is still working and says if he quits he will die and never takes a vacation, one sis hiberates, one sis sits and plays golf and shuffle board and one bro works. Me - well we have visited over 30 different countries, hundreds of cities, multiple cultures and can't wait for spring to come to set sail again. By the way we are wintering over in Tunisia and the howl over that from family was deafing. But what a great country.

As for cost - we put our cost here are our 6 years of cost data.

6 years of cost data

good luck
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Old 05-03-2015, 12:48   #58
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

I crossed the gulf of Mexico 7 times and 4 days is the longest Ive ever been out of sight of land. I do not think it would bother me to go for three weeks except for the boring place it puts me in. However, I will never go four days by myself again. Mac
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Old 05-03-2015, 12:58   #59
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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I crossed the gulf of Mexico 7 times and 4 days is the longest Ive ever been out of sight of land. I do not think it would bother me to go for three weeks except for the boring place it puts me in. However, I will never go four days by myself again. Mac
Not to sha bby. My longest off shore was 74 days from Panama to Pago Poga, 6800 miles and only $42 in fuel when I got there. Most used getting out of Panama Canal. Great trip but a little long.
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Old 05-03-2015, 13:50   #60
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Re: People just don't get it - a bit frustrated

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Originally Posted by carstenb View Post
Don, you're perfectly correct and anyone comtemplating sailing passages should give this a lot of thought (including making some "mini-passages of say 3-4 days at sea).

A couple I know, been sailing for years, wanted to get to the Med to sail in their retirement. Only one small hitch -- even though they had sailed for years - they had never sailed for a full 24 hours just the two of them, meaning they had never stood watch on watch.

They took some practice runs and are now happily sailing around in the MED.

But even they, who had been sailing for many years, found the prospect of being alone on the dog watch with the wind blowing 25-30 knots terrifying.
Carsten,

You hit the nail on the head. Long watches suck. I know you and Vinni can do it. I would prefer three. The solo people don't agree but damn I want someone on watch that is not getting groggy. I've found myself nodding off, not a good feeling.
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