One Bed, Two Dreams

[Jeannius]

Hi Mike

I've actually done the World ARC so thought I'd give you some ideas about that.

Every edition of WARC there are some boats with just the middle-aged owner and an assortment of younger crew picked up just for the purposes of the trip. Very few of these scratch crews make it all the way round together due to personality conflicts that arise but this seems to resolve itself by a bit of boat swapping! There is usually more crew looking for boats than the other way round so the owner/skipper should never be short of crew. Of course the crew tends to be short of money so the vast majority of the expense will fall on the owner. The World Cruising Club (WARC organisers) have a forum you can join to help find crew.

There were several boats that had fly-in wives who would come for the nice easy bits of the trip and as long as you have the money to be able to finance that then it can be a good solution.

My own wife was originally very reluctant but I solved that by buying a very nice catamaran and very gently introducing her to sailing in beautiful locations. You probably don't have the time for that approach and of course it still may not work so I say go on your own, pick up crew and fly your wife to the best bits.

[IAmGroot]

Lots of great posts here... I am approaching my retirement and am concerned my own spouse will have some late-breaking misgivings about a circumnavigation (or even a really long cruise). We will see.

In the meantime - here is a Kindle book I read written by someone who did something very much like what you are contemplating: a retired guy doing a circumnavigation on a 38 ft catamaran, sometimes singlehanded, sometimes with one or two crew, and wife came to visit in exotic locations. Pretty cool story overall. Book is Sailing around the World on "Two Oceans". Volume 1 is at https://www.amazon.com/Sailing-aroun.../dp/B00UEJF9V2. He made it work.

Author has a blog too: https://catamarantwooceans.wordpress.com/

Good luck!

[CyKlop]

You might look into some of the services such as CrewFinder, Find-A-Crew, etc. to see what other boat owners are doing and offering. It's a way to find crew. Of course, you have to approach it like you were hiring them and give them a very thorough interview if they are remote from you, or else do a few day sails (or even overnight) with them if you can before setting sail across an ocean with them. That deals with getting crew to assist you with the boat.

Marital arrangements are up to you and your wife, though

[AiniA]

Mike, you would want to have a much faster boat for the World ARC. We crossed paths with them in Mauritius and an X50 and a big cat came and then nothing for several days. With a smaller, slower boat you would at best be able to keep up with the schedule and would have no time for anything but immediate repairs and reprovisioning. We met several smaller boats and they were on a three year schedule that seemed to work out well. This would allow your wife to come for more extended visits and allow you to go home on occasions - from NZ or Oz during cyclone season. To some extent your schedule is determined by global weather patterns, e.g. when is the local cyclone season. Just keeping going can be much harder and even dangerous. Sit down with Cornell and you get a pretty good idea of when you want to be where.

I guess I was lucky when my wife picked circumnavigation from a list of options after our first winter in the Caribbean.

[nofacey]

Just finished a circumnavigation with a fly in wife (she actually did more sailing than flying, but avoided Australia + Indian Ocean). 50ft cutter, found crew whenever wanted (30+ over 5 yrs) - Worked fine.
Used family, friends, bulletin boards, Oceancrewlink, FB page Sailboat hitchhikers & crew. Only real requirement was that they didn’t get seasick. They always flew themselves to/from boat, paid their share of provisions, and a $50 contribution to boat expenses/fuel. I provided a very capable well equipped & maintained boat, with an easy going skipper,
Only kept a person onboard for 2-3 weeks max, unless We really enjoyed each other.....after a couple weeks in a confined space, simple things add up. Had fun with every crew, just a couple that I wouldn’t had back again.

Another option is to CREW around the world, either on a WorldArc, or as a hitchhiker yourself......boats are always looking for experienced crew.

[Rainbow48]

Mike, Wife decided years ago that there would be no sailing, of any kind, in her future. Long before I designed and built “Rainbow”. I go sailing anyway, most of the time singlehanded. When I sail locally, I keep in touch by phone. When I go offshore, I send 3 or 4 messages every day via my Garmin In Reach. Works well. I’m 71, “Rainbow” is 63 ft LOD, wooden, no winches, and I see no reason to hang up my spurs. Heading across the Atlantic, again, in the spring.

[theDangerz]

I feel lucky we don't have to deal with that issue as we both love being on the water, but you certainly aren't alone...
We've only been out cruising for a little over a year and have already met a couple other guys in a similar situation.

Not only is it possible to find crew to help, there are many people out there just hoping/looking for a chance to crew for offshore crossings.

In fact, i'd be amazed if you couldn't find someone on here who might do the full loop with you... (though you might want to make sure you get along well enough for it).
Better yet though, why not find someone in a similar situation that's already out there or in the process, already has the perfect boat and is looking for you or someone else as crew/teammate?

Why should everyone in this situation feel like they have to buy a boat and single hand when there are clearly several people (men and women) facing a similar question/situation that might have a boat and need the crew??

[Katapult Mike]

Originally Posted by nofacey

Just finished a circumnavigation with a fly in wife (she actually did more sailing than flying, but avoided Australia + Indian Ocean). 50ft cutter, found crew whenever wanted (30+ over 5 yrs) - Worked fine.
Used family, friends, bulletin boards, Oceancrewlink, FB page Sailboat hitchhikers & crew. Only real requirement was that they didn’t get seasick. They always flew themselves to/from boat, paid their share of provisions, and a $50 contribution to boat expenses/fuel. I provided a very capable well equipped & maintained boat, with an easy going skipper,
Only kept a person onboard for 2-3 weeks max, unless We really enjoyed each other.....after a couple weeks in a confined space, simple things add up. Had fun with every crew, just a couple that I wouldn’t had back again.

Another option is to CREW around the world, either on a WorldArc, or as a hitchhiker yourself......boats are always looking for experienced crew.

Lots of great input on this thread. Thanks to everyone posting, it's giving me lots to think about. Please keep them coming!

This post by Nofacey is truly impressive and very encouraging. "I provided a very capable well equipped & maintained boat, with an easy going skipper." I think you are being modest, Nofacey, you must be Skipper of the Year to pull this off!

[Joe Okros]

I think you should do whatever makes you happy as its no guarantee your wife is the person you think she is anyway. I spent 20 years compromising and arranging my life around things to make "wifey" happy.
6 Weeks ago I got the dreaded "I need space", "I need to find myself", followed shortly by the "My depression and bad choices in life are all from your negative energy"

This all out of the blue after 20 years without a serious fight, so I say just do whatever makes you happy. There is probably a divorce in your future anyway, God knows the odds don't look good with the current odds running around 50% anyway.

Sorry if my advice sounds sour, I am going through this at the moment and it's a royal clusterf*ck I had no idea was coming.

[mikeyboards]

Does it have to be a quick lap around the world,it is going to be demanding on your own energy and we'll being.Try thinking about a shorter cruising passage of the places u would like to visit and cruise and get to experience them.Your wife would then be able to visit more often and you could even return home for a visit when possible.You would also not have to be so relient on having a full crew to get your around on a quick lap of the WORLD.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by Trimaran Ken

I obviously don't know your exact circumstances, but in my house, the phrase "I can afford" would never be used. The term used here would "We can afford". If my spouse looked at things in terms of "I" and not "we", I would take my half of the money and leave.

I guess on a Trimaran you get used to meeting in the middle [emoji4] [emoji6]

[Katapult Mike]

Originally Posted by mikeyboards

Does it have to be a quick lap around the world,it is going to be demanding on your own energy and we'll being.Try thinking about a shorter cruising passage of the places u would like to visit and cruise and get to experience them.Your wife would then be able to visit more often and you could even return home for a visit when possible.You would also not have to be so relient on having a full crew to get your around on a quick lap of the WORLD.

Mikey, it does not have to be a "quick" lap. Does it have to be a "lap?" Yeah.......I think it does, eventually. In my youth I sailed a lot. Sort of "half" a lap. For the last 35 years I've had this feeling of an unfinished job. I think I need to do it.

[Steve Bean]

For what it's worth, the quote, "Because it's there" is generally attributed to George Mallory, referring to Mount Everest. He died there in 1924; his body was found in 1999.

[conchaway]

At your age, you have MAYBE up to 30 yrs. to go. When you kick the bucket, you'll probably be a vague memory in the dim past. Read "Ulysses" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson. Then, hopefully, you'll know what to do.

[Hugo B]

Hi

I am in a similar situation to you, similar age and similar idea, with the wife not sailing at all. But she is very supportive and the only thing that is holding me back is that I am earning very good money in a nice job, so there is a bit in "inertia" to let it all go and change my lifestyle. But I will get there.

To me the answer to your problem is evident, but if course you may not agree. You wrote:

"I’m thinking around 50 feet. Even with modern technology, that’s a bit large for single handing permanently, and maintain that technology is going to be a full time job. I really have no enthusiasm for planning an entire circumnavigation around doing it solo."

You seem to be set on having a big boat, and yet you admit having trouble handling it at your age. On top of that, you don't seem to be very convinced that any of the crewing options are really to your liking.

So why not settle for a smaller boat? Less money (the wife may be happier), no need for crew at all and less stress sailing it alone. I used to have a larger boat too, but I have come away from this idea entirely. Now I do not want anything larger than 30 feet at the very most.

What it is that Lin and Larry Pardey said? "Go Small, Go Simple, Go Now". In my view they are absolutely right.