Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 11-10-2010, 13:42   #1
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 64
Images: 1
Now What . . if Anything ?

We're at a dock for the first time ever. Some people we knew ended up at the same dock with their powerboat.....we're sail. We really hit it off as two couples, except when they went for a sail this spring they BOTH showed up with life jackets....he with a less-obtrusive inflatable, her with a kapok orange "Titanic" model. We (all 4 of us) spent a significant part of the rest of the summer enjoying each other's company; but not sailing or motoring, just dinners etc.

Today, they invited us out for a short cruise, and we (I) preferred to enjoy one last sail. We compromised by going with them for a short motor jaunt around the area, and then they came over for a short sail.

The conditions for sailing were "challenging"......nothing serious, but 15 - 20 knot winds from a bad direction (re: leaving the slip and returning). When they showed up, they BOTH showed up in life jackets; him in a "lower-profile" model, and her with the kapok orange "Titanic" model. My composure was shot. I didn't object or say anything, but the tone was set, at least in my mind (that's really where the problem is).

My "captainship" suffered severely, significantly from their life jacket attire, partly from the windy conditions, and partly from my wife's freezing when there's a crisis of any sort and I'm depending on her. Rather than a pleasant afternoon with friends, it turned into a trip into hell & back.

I cut the trip short, made it back to the slip without a catastrophe, and am sitting here attempting to understand and regroup. Nobody got hurt, I got only somewhat embarassed, but feel like ****.

Any ideas/advice?
__________________

__________________
tanksalot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 14:05   #2
Registered User
 
Johnathon123's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Northern NSW Australia
Boat: Maurice Griffiths 40
Posts: 737
Hi tanks, we have all been there. They were outside there comfort zone it was no reflection on you.

I have done quiet a few deliveries on the east coast of OZ in almost every type of weather without concern (most of the time) and in control. Last week I did a quick delivery in a bayliner 285 only 50 miles in 15 knots with a 1 metre sea. I have never been more stressed in my life on the ocean. I pulled out my lifejacket and had it on all day much to the amusement of my mate.

I trusted him, it was the boat and method of propulsion I didn't understand and therefore didn't trust.

You are ultimately responsible for those on board but at least they had the good sense to recognise there own issues and address them.

Spend an hour with them at the dock, explain the boat and how it works, increase there confidence and let them play, they will come around.
__________________

__________________
James

"I get knocked down but I get up again" eventually.
Johnathon123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 14:14   #3
Senior Cruiser
 
rebel heart's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,190
Images: 3
I wear a life jacket anytime I go onto any boat except my own, and even on mine if I'm doing anything short of spinning it around I wear a life jacket. The possibility of me drowning unconcious weighs far heavier on my mind than however much it might get in the head of anyone else onboard. I have a wife and daughter I'd very much like to get home alive to. I have the $300 auto model that is pretty low profile, but if that was broken or I didn't have the money I'd wear a big bright orange fireplug type I.

Check my avatar and the home page image on my blog (as well as any other picture of me underway). 99.9% of the time on the water I'm in a life jacket and if that somehow makes me less of a sailor I'd love to hear how.

Call me a safety dork or whatever. I've seen two boats sailing sans owners, and a friend of mine lost a friend overboard who wasn't wearing a life jacket. There was a delivery captain the other day who drowned not wearing a life jacket.

You can argue the math but the last time I checked 4/5 - 9/10 of all drownings would have been prevented with a life jacket.

PS: I'm a diver, swimmer, and surfer. I love being in the water but I do not screw around with it.
__________________
rebel heart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 14:17   #4
Registered User
 
sabray's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Wash DC
Boat: PETERSON 44
Posts: 3,169
Ahh he'll have some fun with it. Next time they invite you over wear a wet suit fins and while your at it bring along the life raft and an epirb.
__________________
sabray is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 14:20   #5
Moderator Emeritus
 
FrankZ's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Chesapeake Bay
Boat: Bristol 35 Bellesa
Posts: 13,565
Images: 1
I bring my PFD whenever I go on someone else's boat except in one instance. I insist on their use on my boat (you don't have to wear it, you can stay at the dock).

If people show up without one I offer, if they show up with one I don't have to.
__________________
Sing to a sailor's courage, Sing while the elbows bend,
A ruby port your harbor, Raise three sheets to the wind.
......................-=Krynnish drinking song=-
FrankZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 14:26   #6
Registered User
 
S/V_Surya's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Sasafra river,MD
Boat: gulfstar ketch 41 Surya
Posts: 658
Some peole find living on the edge exilirating (like me) others will show up in titaninc attire and look silly but they are frightened. So just let them be. There are many people that will never go sailing with me again. I don't know why you are embarassed.
__________________
S/V_Surya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 14:32   #7
Registered User

Join Date: Jul 2009
Boat: Nassau 42 SV Ceol Mor
Posts: 789
If they are more comfortable wearing jackets, why would it bug you that they chose to wear them? Whether or not I wear mine is dependant on the condtions. If I'm in the lake or bay which is generally warm as a bath and usually no deeper than 10 ft, I usually skip it unless the weather is bad.

For guests, we keep enough on hand for adults and have a couple for kids. If we have more kids than vests, we let the parents know that they will need to provide one for their child. We've not been out with guests in bad weather, so most times the adults choose to skip the vest but we let them know where they are and we do not let inexperienced guests out of the cockpit once we enter the channel for the bay.

I guess I really don't understand how your guests choosing to bring and wear their own PFD's would in any way be an issue?
__________________
S/V Ceol Mor
42 Nassau Undergoing refit in Kemah, Tx
Our little blog has moved: www.theceolmors.blogspot.com
Mimsy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 14:39   #8
Senior Cruiser
 
rebel heart's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,190
Images: 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by S/V_Surya View Post
Some peole find living on the edge exilirating (like me) others will show up in titaninc attire and look silly but they are frightened. So just let them be. There are many people that will never go sailing with me again. I don't know why you are embarassed.
I jump out of airplanes; wearing a PFD has nothing to do with being scared.
__________________
rebel heart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 14:39   #9
Registered User
 
sabray's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Wash DC
Boat: PETERSON 44
Posts: 3,169
Really I usually show the newbees where the jackets are suggest how comfortable they are. That along with if you are some how able to follow overboard this us what we do.. If it's a long run it's a bit more .I still think you should drag a life raft over next time you have cocktails just in case
__________________
sabray is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 15:09   #10
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: STX and Portland, until refit finished
Boat: 1999 Steel (Tom Collin's design)
Posts: 371
Why would them bring their life jackets bother you?
__________________
ViribusUnitis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 15:35   #11
Registered User
 
Arch Stanton's Avatar

Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Olympia, WA
Boat: San Juan 28
Posts: 214
How could you possibly object to standard safety gear?

To me this is an absolutely ridiculous thing to take offense to, especially in 15-20kts!
__________________
Arch Stanton is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 15:54   #12
Registered User
 
markpierce's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Central California
Boat: M/V Carquinez Coot
Posts: 3,415
My only "concern" is that the husband wears the good PFD and his wife the crappy one.
__________________
markpierce is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 16:11   #13
Registered User
 
RiverRat's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Chesapeake Bay
Boat: 22' Avalon Pontoon - The WINE BARge
Posts: 164
Images: 1
We also wear the inflatable PFDs. Especially if we're crossing the Bay or the weather is the least bit rough. I think they get credit for bringing their own.

One thing did occur to me. You've been on their boat, right? I assume they did not wear them while out on their own boat? Is that part of your concern? Maybe the power boat doesn't tilt like a sailboat can and that was a point of concern for them? They felt it more possible to fall overboard than on a power boat?

Gotta agree it doesn't seem like it was about your sailing skills.
__________________
RiverRat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 16:17   #14
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK/Portugal
Posts: 20,210
Images: 2
Send a message via Skype™ to boatman61
pirate

Methinks your being overly sensitive in taking it as a reflection on your skills... If anyone turned up like that to my boat there'd be no complaints from me...
the occasional hysterical giggle now and then maybe....
__________________


Born To Be Wild
boatman61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 16:18   #15
Senior Cruiser
 
Blue Stocking's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Georges, Bda
Boat: Rhodes Reliant 41ft
Posts: 4,117
My BEST boating friend died this morning at the age of 53yrs after 2 yrs of debilitating illness. He hated sailing, but loved his big Searay. We argued the whole weekend many times. I would give anything to be on that Searay with him and the gang right now.
Enjoy the positive aspect--they are not guaranteed.
__________________

__________________
so many projects--so little time !!
Blue Stocking is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 15:12.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.