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Old 15-11-2007, 23:17   #1
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LOVE THEM OR LEAVE THEM?

For those of you who enjoy cruising long distances, how many of you would leave your spouse if they would not go cruising with you? Another words, are your sailing dreams more important than your significant other relationship, if you have to choose?

Keegan
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Old 16-11-2007, 02:53   #2
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I am soooo lucky that I dont have to make that call, however, if I did it would probably depend on why she did not want to go. We have been married for 33 years, I think she would go even if she did not want to because she knows how important it is to me, there is give and take in everything. There could be circumstances, but if there were no logical or good reasons not to go, then......
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Old 16-11-2007, 06:02   #3
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It is common to see a couple begin cruising and then split. One (most often the male) continues cruising while the other becomes a full time dirt dweller. We refer to these situations as "water soluble marriages."

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Old 16-11-2007, 06:27   #4
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My wife is the most important thing in my life, if she wasn't into it, I wouldn't be either. Fortunately, we're much on the same wavelength about cruising. Other than work, we do everything together and that's the only way we'd have it. Twenty one years of a great relationship and going strong.
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Old 16-11-2007, 06:42   #5
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I'm another lucky one. Now that we have been married 10 years, the 'sell everything, move onto a boat and cruise' somehow became my wife's idea! We, also, already do everything together, both love to travel, and welcome adventure - I don't think cruising without her would be half as much fun.
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Old 16-11-2007, 08:19   #6
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I am kinda half way in the middle. My plan was in 5 years when the kid was 18 and leaving the house to sell everything (including the house) and buy a boat to live and sail on. Now my wife is being kinda flip floppy on the whole subject (she wants to keep the land and house, I do the maintenance) WTF for I say. I can live with very little and do not need a TV a new car and all that crap that everyone "thinks" they need. If it comes down to it really I would much rather have and live my dream than to be dirt based forever.

Not saying that I don't love my wife, but for total freedom I would go alone!!

Not that my dreams are more important than my wife to me. But at some point you have to do what makes you HAPPY and not be so concerned with the feelings of others. Maybe I will sail full time and she can join me for a few months a year!
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Old 16-11-2007, 10:44   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keegan View Post
For those of you who enjoy cruising long distances, how many of you would leave your spouse if they would not go cruising with you? Another words, are your sailing dreams more important than your significant other relationship, if you have to choose?

Keegan
By posting this thread, are you trying to justify some possible future event

And has your wife/signifiant other read this thread? If not, I would chance to say that your already in trouble!
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Old 16-11-2007, 10:48   #8
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By posting this thread, are you trying to justify some possible future event

And has your wife/signifiant other read this thread? If not, I would chance to say that your already in trouble!
I am not married.

It is a common problem for avid sailors to have a spouse that is not supportive. I just thought it was a good topic of discussion.

Keegan
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Old 16-11-2007, 11:14   #9
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That seems to be the perception one might get reading the initial post w/o more facts on the subject.

As well, I would think the woman that read this thread could possibly be offended/feel threatened.
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Old 16-11-2007, 12:57   #10
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Originally Posted by delmarrey View Post
That seems to be the perception one might get reading the initial post w/o more facts on the subject.

As well, I would think the woman that read this thread could possibly be offended/feel threatened.
No gender was implied, for all we know there are many woman out there that are contemplating sailing away from their man.

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Old 16-11-2007, 13:00   #11
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Ha! How about a woman's view? I am yet a novice in sailing tho I grew up on boats. I have some reservations about acrossing the Atlantic and even encountering a storm in one, but I have 6 years to find out.

But it's Ed's dream, if I don't go, I hope he finds another crew just so he won't be alone. I've lived 20 years without a man and know I can take care of myself. I'm certainly not going to compromise his dream-we all need dreams.
Janny
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Old 16-11-2007, 23:37   #12
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For those of you who enjoy cruising long distances, how many of you would leave your spouse if they would not go cruising with you?
Geez - if we weren't so financially entwined, I'd leave my spouse for putting the cap back wrong on the toothpaste

Just kidding ! I am lucky enough to have found the soulmate who's looking forward to cruising even more than I am.
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Old 17-11-2007, 09:49   #13
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I'm pretty sure and she'll confirm that, but if she even caught a whiff of me about to take off w/o her she'd go first and leave me behind. Guess I'm lucky that way I gots me a good KnottyGirlz who luvs the boating as much or more than me! Right dear?

For us I guess our sailing (boating) dreams are definitely entwined although I started it all! She agrees too that we've both got no interest in any long distance offshore adventures. I'd sooner load the boat on a ship and send it across the big ponds.
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Old 17-11-2007, 10:46   #14
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My fiancee and I (together three years, living on the boat full time for five months now) have been pretty good at comprimising and meeting eachother in the middle. She knows this (a successful circumnavigation) is a life long goal of mine, and that I really won't be happy unless I give it my all. And I know that having a child or two is very important to her, so we've incorporated our dreams together.

And it isn't really a comprimise now, because I'm really looking forward to showing our future-children the big wide world, and the idea of not sailing with children seems really empty to me.

When we first started dating, I made it really clear that this was something I wanted to do, and something I was going to do. I didn't sneak up on her with it, so I think that helps a lot.

We do everything as a team (except for installing the head and stove; those were "me" projects) and honestly it's really helped our relationship quite a bit.
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Old 17-11-2007, 14:47   #15
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A cruising couple will not last long if one partner does not like it. No matter how much he/she loves the other half, sooner or later there will be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. It's just bound to happen. If one does not like the cruising life, including the sea-going parts, it's like being in jail, voluntarily albeit, but it's still like being in jail. It just doesn't work. A relationship is difficult enough without burdening your non-sailing or apathetic sailing partner with your selfish "dream". Usually the partner will go along with this dream for years (while it's a dream) until you set sail and the reality of the cruising life sets in. Then it's sayonara! Those that have partners that share their love of this life are blessed.
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