Life Happens - But the Dream Remains

[markpj23]

Well it's offically over for me. No more plans to complete the refit and sail away. PJs Song is now seriously for sale as we tackle what life has dealt us this time around.

We are now guardians of our 13yr old grandaughter and for at least the next 5 years that will be our land-based focus. Disruptions in many lives - and we are her only grandparents and her last chance at a normal life.

Many, many thanks to this forum for its advice and dissent. This has been an invaluable tool for us as we worked through our plan.

Add my name to the roster of those whose dreams were sunk.

Man, those South Dakota winters are going to be a far cry from the trades....

[ssullivan]

Aww... Mark this is an extremely sad post. I was just about there recently. Are you sure you can't still keep the dream alive?

Maybe you could home-school your 13yr old grand daughter while cruising? I have seen a number of people do it. The kids always seem to turn out so much more intelligent and well-adjusted to people than your average public school turn-out.

Just a thought. Hope you find a way to keep at it. If not, I definitely admire your selfless attitude and actions in helping your grandaughter out.

PS: 5 years isn't very long. Couldn't you maybe get PJs Song all ready during those 5 yrs and then go?

[irwinsailor]

What Sean said. I have met some cruising kids and they are WAY ahead of most. It makes me wish we had cruised with our kids. I also think it would keep your Grandchild's mind off whatever caused you to take care of her.

[exranger]

Ditto. Maybe it seems impossible right now, but give it a chance to work its way through. Maybe you can continue the refit, more slowly but maybe cheaper....

[Weyalan]

5 years ain't so long... heck, my live-aboard cruising plans are scheduled for moving on board, full time, in 2012!

[Charlie]

Mark:

Think about it long and hard before you sell your boat. Used to live in Western MT and the winters there were like the trades compared to SD. If you have a 52' boat seems like your G-daughter could have her own cabin. Most kids who have had a rough life need a better sense of self worth and self-confidence. A boat will give her the chance to acheive both of those things. It might mean that you can't travel as far in a day but I wouldn't drop the plan I would adjust it. I suggest you read up on some of the kids and cruising pages. Besides it will give G-daughter a chance to stay with good influences rather than fall in with the wrong crowd. A teen ager might not say oh yes lets go but once they got there living in a swim suit and getting school done in a couple hours every morning would be just grand. Besides High School is really tough on alot of kids. OK I'm rambling.

[Limpet]

Yes, consider home schooling, or should I say Cruiser schooling. We have one of our four children in a home school program now. There is no question that this is a better education. Public schools are govermental factories. The school only cares that a body is in the seat so they can collect from the state. You would be doing her the biggest favor.

[sailor12]

Mark, I really hope you change your mind. I agree with what everyone else has said so far. We are homeschooling right now and it's very intimidating looking in from the outside, but once you start the actual homeschooling process, you will see it is very doable (sp?) for anyone. (I never thought we would homeschool). One thing to think about is; will you be resentful towards your grandaughter because she interrupted your plans? Anyway, I really don't know your situation, and if what you need is the support to do what you feel you need to do, then I commend you for stepping up and being an incredible grandfather!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Shari

[dana-tenacity]

Both our girls grew up on a sailboat, both are ahead of their peer group academically ( dramatically so), well adjusted, socially apt, mature, sensible, I could go on. Cruising was the best thing we ever did for them. ALso while out there we met another father who had "snatched" an errant teenage daughter and took her cruising. It worked, today she has graduated university and is working as a jounalist with a major daily and has a good life.

AND... We always welcome an armchair sailor or two, so if it doesn't happen now, at least stay a part of the community. You are always welcome. And who knows? Maybe a little participation in the sailing community will spark an interest that you grand daughter doesn't even know is there. What ever you do, good luck in your travels.

[Sunspot Baby]

God speed in what ever choice you make.

George

[mike d.]

george i haven't been on here very long, and i'll tell you i don't know your circumstances. i have been reading your posts though, and i'll tell you i agree with the rest up above give it alot of thought and reflection if possible. i believe that your Grand daughter would be better served if home schooled and to live aboard with you and the missus. i think it would open her eyes to a whole new world. and perspective on life. just my two cents worth. not trying to make you feel worse or more stressed than you both are already. Good Luck!!!
regards mike

[Da BigBamboo]

Mark,

Please, if you can avoid it, do not shortchange your grandaughter the remarkable experience of the grand spectrum of life outside of the conveyor belt of the masses. She deserves the opportunity you can provide her with your passion. This, an education above any Ivy League School. She will gain true self esteem, focus and family values.

Remember, the Captain never abandons the ship. Take your new crew to newfound worlds, experiences and memories that will carry her through life a step above the masses. Give her the space to be an adolescent and offer to bring her current friends aboard for summer/vacation visits. She will meet others her own age wherever you choose to go and she will thank you for the rest of her life.

Best Regards, Whatever You Choose to Do.

Mike

[Islandmike]

Mark,

We all have to make difficult decisions from time to time, and the decision you are making must be a tough one, albeit admirable. But believe me I do understand, until yesterday we were leaving next summer. Four kids and some unanticipated college costs is taking more out of me and the kitty than I bargined for. very sobering day for me. Mark, I can only offer you this, dont forget the dream, if you want it, it will happen, maybe not as soon as you thought, but it will happen. Dont stop visiting this forum and certainly dont let the dream sink!

Good luck, I wish you, your wife and your granddaugher only the best.

[markpj23]

Thanks for the kind words & support - these are trying times as all of us make the adjustment.

Ya know - the timing of this is such that in 5 years we will probably be too old to put up with the discomfort of full-time cruising. C'mon - admit it - it can be damn uncomfortable at times... like when you slip and that Pina Colada goes down your shirt.... or when you end up in the infamous "Don't Want Your Name Here" thread on this forum....

Home-schooling is a possibility but not a preference at this point. Perhaps if the refit had already been completed and we could 'just go' things might be different. Sigh.... amazing how the series of choices we make in our lives bring us to where we are at this moment - and I don't think I'd really change any of it

So for the time being, I'll trade "This Old Boat" for "This Old House" and get some enjoyment out of bringing this big old house back to its original 1873 glory.... maybe I'll just haul PJs Song up here and park her in the yard for a while. Or I could launch her on Lewis & Clark Lake here in Yankton SD - would dethrone the guy with the IP40 for sure. Go figure - 7 miles of navigable lake behind Gavins Point Dam on the Missouri, and some guy parks an IP 40 in the marina. Hmmm.... maybe there IS a way to keep sailing during all of this...

Sail away while you can - life can change on a dime...