This is not a joke, it's a true story but it is so funny
it may as well be a joke.
So I walk into a bar and sit down at the bar and order a drink. Not long after this young guy comes into the bar and asks for a beer
. He does not like the taste of the beer
after a few gulps and asks for a different beer. This repeats a few times until the barmaid gets annoyed and he settles for the last one he got. He is yapping about hoppy taste and lack of clarity and all these terms about beer that I've never heard a beer connosuir talk about. The place is reputable and selling quite mainstream brands of microbrewed beer so its a memorable thing.
The barmaid walks away to avoid having him ask for yet another type of beer and he strikes of a conversation with us and the waitress.
Now it's important to remember that we are at least 15nm inland near a river on which there is very little moorage and it's illegal to sail due to commercial
He says that he "just left" his sailboat anchored in a well known English
Bay because he had some problems.
Apparently he dropped the entire keel
in the water
somewhere and it's sitting on the bottom so he needs a new keel
I asked him what the heck he was doing leaving his boat in the water
. He said that its fine he was just going to leave it there and buy a new keel. Sort of like they keep these things on a shelf somewhere in stacks sorted by boat make and model.
I asked him if the standing rigging
was still there. He said oh yeah, everything is up and he sailed the boat back after dropping the keel.
I asked him how he lost
his keel. He said he hit a rock at 30 knots, the thing just broke off. I asked him if he was motoring or sailing at that speed and he said he was motorsailing.
Now we were about two hours from where he said his boat was anchored, not including getting to the boat on the water. Why he would stop in this particular bar as a first stop to have a few stiff drinks after suffering such a catastrophe he never truly explained.
In reality, he was trying to impress the waitress. He didnt know that he was sitting next to a guy who owns a sailboat.
I asked him what kind of boat it was. He said that it was a 34 foot San Juan
. I suggested that he might want to go back to find his boat on the bottom, and if it was still floating to find someone to take it of his hands for free because it was now pretty well worthless. He said that it was no big deal (hahaha) he just needed a new keel and he'd be off to the races.
I asked him how much he figured the new keel would run him and he said about five hundred bucks. I almost spit out my drink in laughter.
I told him, you know that boat is worthless now and its probably sinking (I was playing along because he obviously had no boat and the waitress and barmaid were silently grinning, trying to keep from bursting out in fits of laughter at this point) because you cant sail it. He assured me that he could still sail it it was just hard to steer.
I said well it shouldnt be hard to steer my man, the problem is that if you break the keel right off the water should be jetting upwards of five feet from where the former keel bolts
should be as the boat struggles to get to the bottom of the ocean. I explained that steerage was the least of his worries. A tiny wind
just on bare poles would capsize
the bloody thing.
He finished his beer, said not one more word to that waitress or anyone else, and quietly left.
Talk about game! Lol