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Old 16-03-2011, 23:01   #1
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Is the cruising life a lonely life????

When reading about it and meeting with sailors it all looks sweet and dandy...however one thread on this forum made me quaestion is sailors are lonely...I simply cant imagin life without childrens...not that I dont love crown ups...I do! but unlike most I see the kids in them first and formost.

tell me the truth are sailors lonely.?

rgds
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Old 16-03-2011, 23:18   #2
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

Not unless you want it to be or you are stuck up.

New neighbors and possible new friends everyday...
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Old 16-03-2011, 23:29   #3
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

Sailors choose alternate lifestyles that are not so populated with peer groups

Sailors choose solitude with nature, because within that solitude, they find themselves

I think once you find yourself…. You are never lonely… (but that doesn’t mean you cannot be missing something or someone)


Sailors, by definition, drift and travel away from others
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Old 17-03-2011, 00:43   #4
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

I'm not sure lonely is the right word for it, since my wife past away, I have felt very alone, cruising or not. When my wife was still about, as a family I think we were a little isolated from the world but still social none the less. Does that make sense? I'm not quite sure how else to put it.

That said, I have met a few singles in our travels, male and female doing it alone on their boats, they hardly seemed lonely, they seemed quite happy with their choice of lifestyle.
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Old 17-03-2011, 02:09   #5
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

Well, this site seems to be full of sailors and generally they appear a sociable lot. Probably an accurate reflection of reality. I have usually found sailors to be very open and approachable.
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Old 17-03-2011, 04:19   #6
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

You could be lonely, but most sailors are a friendly lot. There is as much or as little company as one wishes. It seems we are also pretty good at respecting each other's privacy.
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Old 17-03-2011, 04:29   #7
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

Quote:
Originally Posted by jobi View Post

tell me the truth are sailors lonely.?

rgds

I would think the answer is yes.

One of the resons I feel my wife and I will be OK cruising is that we don't have a regular social group of people that we will miss hanging with. We like people, but don't revolve our life around them.

I don't think lovely is a problem unless you are experiencing depression from it.
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Old 17-03-2011, 05:47   #8
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

Pelagic has it. Being alone without the guilt that modern groupthink would have one feel is a very satisfying state of personal philosophy. It requires a knowledge and confidence of self that modern society discourages.
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Old 17-03-2011, 06:06   #9
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

I've only had a taste of the cruising life so far but even so... tooling around Florida without my wife was very lonely for me.

Even though I made friends and socialized quite often, It was very lonely rowing my dinghy through the mooring field by myself. I enjoy solitude as much as the next guy, maybe more, but I require more intimacy in order to stay sane and balanced. Nothing more depressing for me than to witness a beautiful sunset or witness the power of the ocean and not have someone to share it with. I don't do much laughing when I'm alone.

Perhaps I'm not as evolved as some of these long term cruisers are.

Eric
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Old 17-03-2011, 06:13   #10
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

Yes! It is a lifestyle for people who don't have a constant need for company or can make do with the company of a few. It a community and there is camaraderie amongst them and so making friends is rather easy in a sense because of the shared experience.

However because of the nature of cruising, these friendships tend to be intense and temporal and perhaps resort to "internet based" these days.

Being a person who likes solitude does not mean you are unfriendly or don't like people. You just like solitude and the benefits which attend.
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Old 17-03-2011, 06:23   #11
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

Lonely is a mental thing. I don't really get that way but I do often miss certain people when they are not around. I find it far easier to meet new people in the cruising environment than about any other circle of influence I've ever been in and I've been in a lot of different ones all over the world.

As far as Kids go.... well... been there, done that and have the T-shirt and DO NOT want to make a return trip. Well behaved kids are OK for a few hours.... well OK for a few minutes. Problem is very few well behaved kids exist anymore at they do not have parents who parent or appear to have those skills.

Nothing kills the environment of an anchorage faster than a single or group of brats. Now I do like kids... Baked or BBQ'ed is the best
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Old 17-03-2011, 06:30   #12
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

Amen to that!
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Old 17-03-2011, 06:34   #13
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

Good question.

Yachtie kids in SE Asia all seem to be generally normal; Most people seem to spend 8-9 months going places, and then maybe pop home to see friends/family before returning to carry on their cruise. Generally .... it is the Grandkids who seem to be missed more than the kids.

However with Internet/Radio/GSM technology - you can still make that weekly call - or get a photo of the birthday party. So no real need to feel lonely.

When sailing across to India - my better half, used to send me the Newcastle United football news (sad I know) via the PACTOR/SalMail - frankly I did not give a toss about anything off the yacht other than that.

Maybe going away make a return sweeter ? It does not for me.... but each to their own.
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Old 17-03-2011, 06:38   #14
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

One of the key points in Jobi's post relates to children, presumably you own. Without a doubt, my wife and I would need to see our children on a regular basis. Their an addiction I don't care to cure. So, if cruising meant we wouldn't get that fix, we wouldn't cruise.

For our existing friends, I would think that if they don't visit us once in a while, they probably where not close friends to begin with. Another thought is that spending a week with friends on a boat would be equal to a whole years worth of casual get togethers. Your doing something out of the box and really fun.

But my vision of cruising is different because 1) I haven't done it yet, and 2) It won't be full time. We will continue to maintain our homestead here in Michigan no matter what.
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Old 17-03-2011, 06:38   #15
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Re: Is the cruising life a lonely life????

I said :Amen to that". I referred to Jack's post about kids...
I had a 12 day cruise from Richards Bay to Bazaruto. My first ever on sea. First night - "Storm warning to all boats in Richards Bay area!" It caught us... But when we anchored in Bazaruto all was forgotten. We met the most wonderful people and were on the radio with other sailors as well. I never felt lonely. When the need to socialize arise - just drop your anchor!
But perhaps I need more time on the sea to open my big mouth.
Ciao everyone.
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