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Old 19-03-2013, 18:38   #46
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Probably inaccurate to give this idea a sexist angle. I have met plenty of cruising couples where the woman is the lead in cruising initiative.

Numerically, there are only a few hundred boats that I would want to have, yet there are a few million eligible partners I would be happy having. If they don't like the boat they can leave. Another more willing partner is probably waiting nearby. Wouldn't waste my time with an incompatible spouse. They can go find their own "thing".
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Old 19-03-2013, 18:51   #47
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I agree that it is the selection of partner. In fact how many people chose their partner with sailing in mind? I'd say a lot brought it up later in the relationship or it seems to the partner to just be a dream that would never happen and were only humoring them.

I have known many women that climb sail and go on all kinds of adventure. Some do it just to be liked by the boys. Just like some boys do things just to impress the girls. But their are a lot of women that genuinely like a bit of adventure and would be perfectly happy sailing the world. Unfortunately a lot of them ended up with husbands that leave them at home while they work their lives away.

Fortunately I scored and my wife's a keeper. When it came to selecting a boat; I explained the characteristics of a safe seaworthy vessel, we talked at length about the pros and cons and compromises of different vessels we looked at. In the end we both agreed on a vessel and she loves it as much as I do.

Having said that our requirements were a boat that was strong seaworthy good motion long fin skeg with 2 speedster double berths (were a family of 4) full navigation station, decent size galley. Good sized berths I'm 6' but dont like things near my head or feet when i sleep (unless in a seaway i can jamb myself into a little corner and sleep like s baby) cheery and have good character below. Meaning it must appeal to our senses because I can't stand living in a white box. Fortunately we both like the same nautical classic style. Then it needed to be in budget and as small as possible while retaining all these features.
Then we found a few models of boats we wanted and went shopping. In the end the vessel that balanced these the best for us is what we ended up with.

I guess the point is. Maybe don't let her pick as much as decide your ambitions together (this may change and you may need to go through a few boats), educate both of you and evaluate each boat on its merit. I think you will likely come up with some models of boats you can both live with. Then you can tweak them like adding more ventilation etc.
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Old 19-03-2013, 19:11   #48
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

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Your women. Now there is a potential problem there.
yes you can see why I need a 50ft catamaran, one woman for each hull, and a third in the bridgedeck. I can't call them wifes, this is California, not Utah..

Yes I have room come aboard!
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Old 19-03-2013, 19:17   #49
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

That's what I need also.
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Old 20-03-2013, 03:36   #50
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

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This

Stop looking at the bra size and start asking about how many stamps she has in her passport (I have 24, and it's my third passport).
Well yes, but bra size is exposed to immediate perusal. Passport stamps usually means starting up a conversation. Being male, our first thoughts are naturally "is this gal fertile"

Come to think of it, that our second, third, fourth adn twohundredfiftyth thought also

Seriously though - is asking how many stamps she has in her passport a good scoring line?

Do I have to say something else first?
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Old 20-03-2013, 04:24   #51
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Having been a sailing instructor and other things I would contribute the following


* there are loads of women on boats , including sailing boats , any perusal of a large Med marina or the sailing grounds nearby will show that is the case.

* there are few deep sea sailing women , there are some , just like there are men that knit, but its a small ( and great) minority.

* most women want companionship, like travel and meeting people and experiencing other cultures , very few want to beat to windward in a small dark cold boat to do so.

* most ( and its a generalisation) follow their men into sailing , they are inevitably a passive partner, often they feel undervalued , undertrained and are doing something they don't really want to do, this doesn't tend to last

I learned my wife has no interest in crossing oceans , even overnights , or standing watches etc, she can do , but she's not that keen. What I did learn is that she loves boats , the sun, foreign places etc, with significant compromise it can be done. Now she's the one suggesting " lets go here on holidays " or " I miss the boat" while I'm up to me neck in work currently and can't get away.!! I've day sailed half the med at this stage ! .

Love is a compromise , remember that. I much prefer to be with someone that loves me, then someone that's loves sailing

Dave
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Old 20-03-2013, 06:24   #52
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

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Originally Posted by CatInHand View Post
This

Stop looking at the bra size and start asking about how many stamps she has in her passport (I have 24, and it's my third passport).
Never! As Lady Gaga intones "I was born this way."
Why Men Stare At Breasts - YouTube
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Old 20-03-2013, 07:14   #53
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

A boat is not a man cave.

now THIS, this is a MAN CAVE!:

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Old 20-03-2013, 07:51   #54
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

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Well yes, but bra size is exposed to immediate perusal. Passport stamps usually means starting up a conversation. Being male, our first thoughts are naturally "is this gal fertile"

Come to think of it, that our second, third, fourth adn twohundredfiftyth thought also

Seriously though - is asking how many stamps she has in her passport a good scoring line?

Do I have to say something else first?
Your looking for a goof pickup line? How about "Wow! You're in great shape! Do you sail? I've just come back from..."
Then whip out your passport, other souvenir. Generally a beer belly is not a good choice of souvenir to display.
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Old 20-03-2013, 08:45   #55
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

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Your looking for a goof pickup line? How about "Wow! You're in great shape! Do you sail? I've just come back from..."
Then whip out your passport, other souvenir. Generally a beer belly is not a good choice of souvenir to display.
ROTFLMFAO I'm assuming your "goof pickup line" is a typo and you meant to say "good pickup line".

hmmmmmmmmmm so you're saying that a male fat depot (beer belly) is not as erotic a sight for females as female fat depots (those lovely breasts) are for males?

tsk,tsk - live and learn. I wonder why?

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Old 20-03-2013, 09:02   #56
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

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ROTFLMFAO I'm assuming your "goof pickup line" is a typo and you meant to say "good pickup line".

hmmmmmmmmmm so you're saying that a male fat depot (beer belly) is not as erotic a sight for females as female fat depots (those lovely breasts) are for males?

tsk,tsk - live and learn. I wonder why?

That's only true for the shallow image conscious woman in western countries. In China a corpulent male is prized and considered good luck and a good find. Think "Buddha". He is looked on as wealthy since he has more money to spend on extra food. Not a bad deal for some of us. Who wouldn't want a beautiful Asian woman on board as crew.
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Old 20-03-2013, 09:32   #57
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

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ROTFLMFAO I'm assuming your "goof pickup line" is a typo and you meant to say "good pickup line".

hmmmmmmmmmm so you're saying that a male fat depot (beer belly) is not as erotic a sight for females as female fat depots (those lovely breasts) are for males?

tsk,tsk - live and learn. I wonder why?

*Snort*

"goof" works pretty well for some of y'all.
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Old 20-03-2013, 09:33   #58
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That's only true for the shallow image conscious woman in western countries. In China a corpulent male is prized and considered good luck and a good find. Think "Buddha". He is looked on as wealthy since he has more money to spend on extra food. Not a bad deal for some of us. Who wouldn't want a beautiful Asian woman on board as crew.
Amen to that! The first thing my Asian girl did after she met me was start to fatten me up. Now I'm 40lbs heavier and we're still somehow able to live happily aboard a tiny boat.

Involving her in the process of getting the boat was very important. Not only picking out the boat, but also deciding how the boat got finished, where things would go, types of wood and insulation for the interior, etc. Just like buying and finishing a house, If your wife isn't involved in deciding how a house will look finished she won't feel at home there either.

When my wife and I looked at my newest project boat she thought it was so beautiful she cried. I foresee no problems sailing with her anywhere we go
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Old 20-03-2013, 09:42   #59
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

As a gross generalization, women like to be comfortable. Men don't mind being uncomfortable if it makes them feel macho. Women are not into feeling macho. Yes, there are exceptions.
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Old 20-03-2013, 09:54   #60
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Re: Is a boat a kind of "Man Cave"?

Bottom line, life is about people and not boats, so if your partner/family isn't interested in sailing or passage making, then you are a fool to keep the boat and lose the people.
My lady says, "I can always fly in to join you when you get there" when I start talking about sailing to Australia..she is the smart one.
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