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Old 18-07-2015, 16:46   #91
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Re: How much say do women really have

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Originally Posted by weavis View Post
Im seeing what you are telling me is that it is a "special circumstance" being married.

This, of couurse, only applies to my wife and myself. Anyone else on watch obeys whatever orders we give - there is no discussion there.


My experience with marriage is not the same as yours perhaps. Once, my wife wanted to buy a certain house. She fell in love with it. I went through all prelims on it and got it surveyed. She visited frequently and fell more in love.

It was an OK house, There were issues with location and some structural defects.

I pointed out these things, and a few others but it fell on deaf ears. We bought the house.

Six months later, the reality of what I had informed her of came to fruition.

She turned to me and complained about the house, and I reminded her that it was her wish and I had been against it.

There was silence, and then she said "Why did you LET ME buy the house?!!"

If Im going to be blamed one way or another-I get to call the shots.

From listening to thousands of patients, my experience is not a rare one.

Nothing "special", sounds the same to me...damned if you do damned if you don't.

Key phrase for a long marriage: "Yes dear, its my fault". ;-)
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Old 18-07-2015, 16:48   #92
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Re: How much say do women really have

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Ogden Nash said it best, "To keep a marriage brimming with love in the loving cup; when you're wrong admit it, when you're right shut up!"
True, if you win you lose and if you lose you lose...so might as well just fall on your sword straight off.
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Old 18-07-2015, 19:27   #93
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Re: How much say do women really have

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Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass View Post
Making the calls when quick decisions need to be made during passages is certainly optimally the responsibility of one person at any one time. For many cruising couples this is the person who is on watch. If both people are awake then non urgent decisions are generally discussed (in our case we always take the safest option if there is any disagreement, allowing for quick resolution with zero resentment). There is no need for one person to be responsible for the boat 100% of the time.

This is a mode that many cruising couples use (including us) and it works very well.

SWL

Thanks Lass. This is how our boat operates, and so far we haven't sunk, done damage go others, nor entered a crisis we couldn't manage as a team.

This whole "one captain" thing just doesn't reflect the reality I see with my sailing and cruising friends. Firstly, snap decision crisis events are extremely rare on most cruising boats. Unless you're one of those intent on testing yourself against Mother Nature (you'll loose BTW), or racing around the world with a stupid-tight schedule, most decisions are easily managed through normal discussion.

In our case while underway we alternate every day between helm/navigation and deck/galley duties. Helm makes any snap decisions regarding boat safety. Otherwise we discuss. Same goes for watches; on-watch makes the "captain's" decisions if need be. There is no permanent "captain" and certainly no "admiral" on our boat. The only people I see using these terms are older men, or anonymous posters here on CF.


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Old 19-07-2015, 02:56   #94
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Re: How much say do women really have

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Old 19-07-2015, 03:16   #95
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Re: How much say do women really have

Good grief, Gary,

Go take a nap!

Ann
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Old 19-07-2015, 04:03   #96
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Re: How much say do women really have

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Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate View Post
Good grief, Gary,

Go take a nap!

Ann
What?!

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Old 19-07-2015, 04:46   #97
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Re: How much say do women really have

For a chap who often shows good sense, I do not understand your catamaran fixation, as you seem to really appreciate the virtues of the Westerly Centaur 26'. I get it that you want more room for a pied a terre, but why it must be a cat escapes my limited imagination. Chacun a son gout.

A.
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Old 19-07-2015, 04:56   #98
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Re: How much say do women really have

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Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate View Post
For a chap who often shows good sense, I do not understand your catamaran fixation, as you seem to really appreciate the virtues of the Westerly Centaur 26'. I get it that you want more room for a pied a terre, but why it must be a cat escapes my limited imagination. Chacun a son gout.

A.
I love monohulls. However, if I was to choose a vessel to live on, the criteria is below.

Stable at anchor.
minimum heel whilst cruising.
Wide cockpit and saloon.
saloon at deck level.
Private Hulls
Great deck space for sail adjustment
Not have to put everything away before setting off.
And just the whole space feel.

Plus, I actually do like the look of them. Weird aint it.
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Old 19-07-2015, 08:46   #99
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Re: How much say do women really have

My opinions about Cats has certainly changed over the years I now really see the attraction for all the reasons listed. I like pretty much everything about them(except the $$$$ it costs to play the game the way I'd like to play it) The only thing I don't like is the sailing experience and the looks. The sailing experience is not a huge issue as its only 10% of your cruising time and the looks can be fixed with a large Cat but of course that's where the big $$$ come in.
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Old 19-07-2015, 14:51   #100
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Re: How much say do women really have

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My opinions about Cats has certainly changed over the years I now really see the attraction for all the reasons listed. I like pretty much everything about them(except the $$$$ it costs to play the game the way I'd like to play it) The only thing I don't like is the sailing experience and the looks. The sailing experience is not a huge issue as its only 10% of your cruising time and the looks can be fixed with a large Cat but of course that's where the big $$$ come in.
Call me silly and tie me to the foot of our stairs! Well actually its a phrase and not an invite.

Sailing experience? Do you mean in relation to a mono or just in general? Are you refering to the wave action of a multihull or perhaps the lack of heel?

As much as I like them, there is a certain chop and hobby horsing if not set to the wind properly. A Cat owner soon learns to bear off a point or two in order to quell the nausea. If you mean 'Sailing'experience' as in the ride is mainly flat and calm and level, with not much going on in the drama stakes-yep, its like that.

As for looks. Its something that some fall in love with immediately or something that grows on you.

I like practical so after being on one, I was hooked.

You are absolutely right about the cost....ouch!

So we have have a calm staid plodding vessel that is quite boring.

I know what you mean.

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Old 19-07-2015, 16:25   #101
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Re: How much say do women really have

Great pic but somehow I don't think the average Cat owner ever gets to see this side of a Cat unless he has a little beach Cat or he is just about to turn turtle.
The motion I'm not crazy about is the quick little jerks that you can't anticipate. They also don't have much feedback.They are quite loud down below in the berths. Was sailing across a lagoon in the Marshall Islands in a 45 footer that was homebuilt but looked better than almost any production Cat I have seen. All the above was happening however we were hitting close to 15 knots so I decided that I could get used to all the above for speeds like this in fairly short order. Now the average oversized Cat built today is lucky to get mono hull type performance and are not in the same league as the Cat I described above. I am attracted by the performance of some Cats but thats where the $$$$ really come into play.
I still like the living environment and the wonderful cockpits but you sure have to pay for the privilege.
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Old 19-07-2015, 16:39   #102
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Re: How much say do women really have

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Originally Posted by weavis View Post
I love monohulls. However, if I was to choose a vessel to live on, the criteria is below.

Stable at anchor.
minimum heel whilst cruising.
Wide cockpit and saloon.
saloon at deck level.
Private Hulls
Great deck space for sail adjustment
Not have to put everything away before setting off.
And just the whole space feel.

Plus, I actually do like the look of them. Weird aint it.
Then there's the shallow draught.
The ability to dry out.
The ability to easily carry a large dinghy.
The ease of getting aboard.
The space to fit a large solar array.
Twin engine manoeuvrability.
Twin engine redundancy.
Twin rudder redundancy.
and much much more..


I like the looks too, especially under sail. The big roachy, full battened mains look great. Hollow leached, flopping, pointy triangles just don't look right.
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Old 19-07-2015, 16:45   #103
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Re: How much say do women really have

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Then there's the shallow draught.
The ability to dry out.
The ability to easily carry a large dinghy.
The ease of getting aboard.
The space to fit a large solar array.
Twin engine manoeuvrability.
Twin engine redundancy.
Twin rudder redundancy.
and much much more..
There is another way to look at Twin everything..there is twice as much to go wrong!
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Old 19-07-2015, 16:52   #104
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Re: How much say do women really have

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Then there's the shallow draught.
The ability to dry out.
The ability to easily carry a large dinghy.
The ease of getting aboard.
The space to fit a large solar array.
Twin engine manoeuvrability.
Twin engine redundancy.
Twin rudder redundancy.
and much much more..


I like the looks too, especially under sail. The big roachy, full battened mains look great. Hollow leached, flopping, pointy triangles just don't look right.
I wanted to leave some of the other good points for others.
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Old 19-07-2015, 16:57   #105
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Re: How much say do women really have

Purchased my boat without consulting, nevertheless, she likes it! She likes the high handrails, wide deck, enclosed pilothouse, and so on. Staying in an open cockpit isn't her thing.


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