How much say do men really have

[Cheechako]

Men have no say unless they love misery. She's "the Admiral" for a reason!

[weavis]

My wife let me choose the boat, the fittings the layout and everything, knowing I would get it right, and it would be perfect.

She actually told the divorce lawyer that! Said it would look great on the water for her.......

My lawyer was better than her lawyer. She never set foot on it.

[Truemettle]

The correct answer is "yes dear" I have found this is far more important than all other boat tasks like safety, maintenance, sail trim, weather to mention a few :-)

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by monte

I'd suggest trying to gently bring him around to your point of view. Males can be stupid and don't always understand the obvious limitations of a cruising boat. Perhaps something along these lines could help...

Him "I think a big bed would be a nice idea"
You "there's plenty of sails in the bow for you to sleep on"
Him "how about a nice big water heater?"
You " cold water cleans just as well, anyway, how the hell do you think we could provide the power?"
Him " Er..you know I like my music, can we have a big ass stereo and real speakers?"
You " are you not listening?? I just told you about power..do you think stereos run on air???"

Just remember, he might be the admiral but you are the captain and responsible for the safety and well being of the vessel and all lives on board. If you have to take him along to any design or construction meetings, best take an iPad with angry birds loaded to keep him from interfering with important discussions and decisions, and for gods sake don't let him on a catamaran...

Monte, this is just about the sagest advice I have read on CF .

Meetings have been via Skype at this stage, but do you think I could get a word in edgeways? Perhaps I should adopt CrustyChief's and TrueMettle's tactics:

"Yes Dear, while within earshot! Still gonna do what I planned on, just have to think it through, so she thinks it's her Idea. Works for me."

"The correct answer is "yes dear" I have found this is far more important than all other boat tasks like safety, maintenance, sail trim, weather to mention a few :-)"

Hmmmm. This might have some merit.
Such very helpful suggestions emerging from this thread. Thanks for the male perspective guys .

SWL

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by weavis

My wife let me choose the boat, the fittings the layout and everything, knowing I would get it right, and it would be perfect.

She actually told the divorce lawyer that! Said it would look great on the water for her.......

My lawyer was better than her lawyer. She never set foot on it.

Just goes to show males can be like hurricanes too. I truly had no idea men and women had so much in common!

I was always a subscriber to the Mars and Venus analogy, but maybe we are more alike than I had ever imagined .

SWL

[Stu Jackson]

Better than a great article in MAD magazine.

[weavis]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

Just goes to show males can be like hurricanes too. I truly had no idea men and women had so much in common!

I was always a subscriber to the Mars and Venus analogy, but maybe we are more alike than I had ever imagined .

SWL

Stick 4 bottles a week of whisky and Jagermeister plus wine and OTC drugs in quantities, and you have the perfect wife......... .........

To divorce.

But......... as it was 'my' boat........... I did ask what she would like. Big bed, big galley, bathtub dining out area....... it was all there. Motorboat.

I wanted sail, however, that came later, when it was 'my' boat......

[robert sailor]

[QUOTE=Seaworthy Lass;1871138]Yes, I agree. Zee. Men definitely have their uses.
You forgot one very vital function though .

Guess Uncle Bob is right. Perhaps I do need to humour the Admiral occasionally. How many tools does a guy really need though? It is not as if he can use more than one at any one time.


Mmmmmm! Interesting comment about tools which are about as practicle a thing as you can have aboard but lets talk about ladies and their desire to own as many shoes as possible, now that really makes sense!

[Old Swampy]

If you want to affect the decision on the anchor size, then you should have some experience in anchoring and some authorities to back you up. If you want to decide what the galley should have, then he should have some experience cooking in a cramped boat.

[carstenb]

Lassie,

My experience is that men tend to huff/puff and grumpa lot, but whever a woman wants to have it her way she can easily figure out how to tame the savage beast and get it exactly as she wants.

Big-assed steros are nice - but in the small confines of a boat, he's better off with multiple small speakers powering out say 10 watta class A sound. Unless of course he wants the entire anchorage and island to also enjoy his music.

Tools are important and if his is of the correct size and otherwise suited for the task at hand - by all means let him bring it along.

oversized anchors are also ok although I suspect a mermaid with respect for herself might object to him bringing along an anchor wench or two.

good luck

carsten

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by Old Swampy

If you want to affect the decision on the anchor size, then you should have some experience in anchoring and some authorities to back you up. If you want to decide what the galley should have, then he should have some experience cooking in a cramped boat.

Swampy, Swampy .

Experience anchoring is so overrated! Just take a little time to observe charterers, some of whom are probably seeing an anchor for the first time and having the time of their lives.
Piece of cake . The anchor just has to look good on the bow ("sexy" is the ultra aim).

SWL
PS Anyway, the chain does all the holding, not the anchor .

[weavis]

Originally Posted by Old Swampy

If you want to affect the decision on the anchor size, then you should have some experience in anchoring and some authorities to back you up. If you want to decide what the galley should have, then he should have some experience cooking in a cramped boat.

er......... I cook on board. I also anchor. If I had a cramped boat, I would not have a cramped boat.

I also would not have a boat without hot water or a shower or 2 separate cabins.....

I understand there are some very competent female sailors on here. I meet several in Yacht clubs when I travel. All happily married and way beyond my pay grade in terms of ability.

I think for those couples who are on the same page for their sailing togetherness, then the choice would be the same individually.......

I envy that.

[zeehag]

Originally Posted by Seaworthy Lass

Yes, I agree. Zee. Men definitely have their uses.
You forgot one very vital function though .

Guess Uncle Bob is right. Perhaps I do need to humour the Admiral occasionally. How many tools does a guy really need though? It is not as if he can use more than one at any one time .

SWL

mmmmphh yeah i did fail to mention. not forgotten, just merely failed to mention.. dont wanna cause envy in self or others.....

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by robert sailor

Mmmmmm! Interesting comment about tools which are about as practicle a thing as you can have aboard but lets talk about ladies and their desire to own as many shoes as possible, now that really makes sense!

Makes perfect sense to me.

There are the vital shoes such as the ones on the left. Then there are the ones on the right are absolutely all that can be worn when I need to let men know I know anything about anchoring. In between any self respecting lassie needs a broad range to cover all eventualities.

On the other hand, one tool can be used for so many purposes .

SWL

[biker6977]

I guess is all comes down to budget, need and want. hubby and I have many discussions- I want comfortable but as small as possible and simple as possible- less to go wrong. hubby wants big enough to hold all his fishing gear, ice maker for the fish he will catch and big comfy bed. I want room for tools and storage, hanging locker near the companion way for wet gear so as not to drip through the boat, good sea berths- more comfy while on passage. We have looked at a few boats- it's going to be a challenge on some things. As he currently has a whole room full of fishing gear- no exaggeration- and is yet to pare down what will go on the boat I don't know what we'll end up with. We did find a Stevens 47 with a fighting chair and ice maker- he seems ready to leave earlier than planned once he saw that.