Horrible Guests, Terrible Crew

[Simi 60]

Originally Posted by Macblaze

Actually Facebook, if you give it enough time, often reveals a lot about about people. That is generally a downside if you are into your privacy but for vetting potential guests could be a real boon

If you use your real name.

[Mike OReilly]

Wow, that all sucks big time. Now I understand why you didn't make up here this year. Here's hoping next year will be better.

[Eder]

Nothing on a sailboat is worse than poor guests. I've had my share.

Had to put up with useless tits on the Bajahaha rally...never again. 2 weeks of resenting their existence has taught the wife & me to only invite our family & our closest of friends for an all inclusive sailing vacation for a few days.


Any longer passages we do ourselves including our Pacific crossing...we may be more tired and sailing a bit slower, but our enjoyment factor makes double handing worthwhile.

Hope you get some decent crew for the Atlantic trip, might pay to just do it yourself if in doubt. Good luck!

[captlloyd]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

How could it help me avoid this sort of thing in the future? Especially, since I’m now afraid to go on it after all this.

Easy, just go on their homepage and view the things they post, you will find out a lot. If you go on my homepage you will soon see that I am a flaming liberal. You may or may not like that but I am a helluva crewmate.

[Fore and Aft]

I read all the posts Kenomac and no one has been sailing with you and said what type of skipper you are? I go on plenty of sea trials and some skippers are real Captain Blighs and it is easier to just stand back and act like you heve never been on a boat before.

I can see the other side as well, flash boat so obviously you can afford to pick up the bill for everything. You mentioned on another post that you would like an 80 footer. So I could imagine if you are having a dinner conversation like that then a $200 bottle of wine is not going to be an issue to your pocket. LOL, its terrible but people do think like that. I am not one of them but everyone has different ideas when it comes to money.

The sex offender is the least of your worries......Imagine if he had put a kilo of coke on the yacht and customs found it? That could be a nightmare that you would not want.
Cheers

[sailorboy1]

Wonder what Ken’s enemies are like

[JeffH]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

... The guest had a prior conviction for child porn ... He didn’t board our boat with anything more than clothing and a cellphone.

The cellphone I am replying on has 128GB of storage. That’s enough for over 12800 pictures.

The reconnecting thing has best practices, just like everything else. Make the first meeting at a place & time when you can get away in a couple of hours or less if things don’t go well. Have a couple more less than day long meetings as you find out if they have grown & changed in directions compatible with you before you invite them for an overnight. Etc for weeklong or crossing. All of that is “duh” except for people who don’t know it.

I also endorse the idea of a “contract”, either in writing or contract-like discussions about rights & responsibilities for anyone coming aboard; as captain you have complete responsibility ... & complete authority.

Be thankful the authorities found no reason to think you participated with your guest in his hobby. There are several “people finder” websites that will report on the criminal conviction status of the person searched; often the fact of conviction is reported for free & full details for as little as $25.

I vetted every boy my daughter dated. ...

[emoji868]

[Yellowjacket]

Originally Posted by Kenomac

Yeah right... I’m the one with the problem, not the guy with the computer filled up with child porn ... Thanks for the advice. Not!

You thought you had a problem and came to this forum with a request for help. This response indicates you were right, you do, but not with boats or cruising. Your experiences were awful and I'm sorry you had to deal with them. But, it could have been so much worse. Some have lost their lives in similar situations. International boundaries aren't the only ones that matter.

[Steven UK]

Facebook can be positive you just have to use it right, I keep it to close friends and family and anyone who shows any sign of wired ness is gone, I generally get rid of people for soapbox political mindless copying. But since I travel a lot it allows me to keep in touch with old friends and family etc hopefully some of these guys will be cruising with me in the neer future...

Good luck connecting with your old friends...

Regards Steven

[gaucho]

As I read and read of people suggesting: contracts, letters of consent, manuals and guides for guests ... I wonder ... How do you people have any friends? Like ... real friends? Is this just me? Is this an american thing I just don't understand? I wouldn't just have ANYTHING to do with someone (friend I mean, not professional or amateur crew) that makes me sign a contract, or agree to a letter of consent ... I just feel it's fuxored up.

I kind of grew up learning and understanding that it is your choice to understand how other people are. Trying to manipulate people into being who YOU want THEM to be is really one of those things that **** up this world. I think it's even worse if you can't just communicate with them and you need a CONTRACT to establish it. What has happened to humanity?

I suggest you drink a couple of bottles of wine, and just tell people what you expect, and if they don't deliver what you expect, and you cannot accept other people the way they are, just don't bring them along the next time. It is still a valuable lesson for you, them and everybody. Friendships are not built on contracts ... me thinks.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by Erik Dolson

You thought you had a problem and came to this forum with a request for help. This response indicates you were right, you do, but not with boats or cruising. Your experiences were awful and I'm sorry you had to deal with them. But, it could have been so much worse. Some have lost their lives in similar situations. International boundaries aren't the only ones that matter.

I’m guessing you had difficulty reading my rather long first post, when I explained specifically the purpose was to warn other people of the events that took place with three guests so the same occurances wouldn’t happen on their boats. We’ve enjoyed cruising for over eight years with many nice people... we don’t have a people problem, but three of our guests do.

I did not come “with a request for help,” ‘just looking to share ideas.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

Wonder what Ken’s enemies are like

We don’t have any “enemies” that we know of, both of us generally try to avoid negative complainer type people. Of course I know you’re joking.

[Kenomac]

Originally Posted by gaucho

As I read and read of people suggesting: contracts, letters of consent, manuals and guides for guests ... I wonder ... How do you people have any friends? Like ... real friends? Is this just me? Is this an american thing I just don't understand? I wouldn't just have ANYTHING to do with someone (friend I mean, not professional or amateur crew) that makes me sign a contract, or agree to a letter of consent ... I just feel it's fuxored up.

I kind of grew up learning and understanding that it is your choice to understand how other people are. Trying to manipulate people into being who YOU want THEM to be is really one of those things that **** up this world. I think it's even worse if you can't just communicate with them and you need a CONTRACT to establish it. What has happened to humanity?

I suggest you drink a couple of bottles of wine, and just tell people what you expect, and if they don't deliver what you expect, and you cannot accept other people the way they are, just don't bring them along the next time. It is still a valuable lesson for you, them and everybody. Friendships are not built on contracts ... me thinks.

Sharing a bottle of wine didn’t work out, remember?

Seriously, so far I like Planet Express’s idea for “Informed consent for Mutual Enjoyment” agreement the most where everything is spelled out in advance, then sticking with current friends we’ve been recently spending time with. We won’t let these three bad apples spoil the bunch and give up on humanity.

[thruska]

Originally Posted by KP44

Sex offenders have the lowest rate of reoffending of all major crimes. That said, your acquaintance sounds like he has no intention of respecting laws or people. I just didn't think your comment about "never change" is reliable for all.

So by your statements here we can assume you have no problem inviting pedophile sex offenders onto your boat repeatedly whenever wherever?

I’d vet your background for certain.

I’d be doing lots of background checks for anyone on my boat or my rv.

[FlyingScot]

I know this is a worldwide forum, so please understand this post is to be helpful and maybe other countries have similar databases and rules as the USA.

1. Sex offenders are required to be registered. I'd start here
https://www.fbi.gov/scams-and-safety...ender-registry
They even have an app for that.

2. Be careful your 'expectations' aren't interpreted as 'consideration' or risk the appearance of running a charter. https://homeport.uscg.mil/Lists/Cont...erBrochure.pdf
Consideration: means an economic benefit, inducement,
right, or profit, including pecuniary payment
accruing to an individual, person, or entity but not
including a voluntary sharing of the actual expenses
of the voyage by monetary contribution or donation
of food, fuel, beverage, or other supplies.
Bold for emphasis by me.

Standard disclaimer: I'm neither a lawyer nor sex offender.