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Old 13-05-2010, 12:04   #46
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CHANGING COURSE A Woman's Guide to Choosing the Cruising Lifestyle

As already mentioned, all of your fears are very common and have been addressed in this book. Look for it in your local library or bookstore, read it this weekend and you will be a much happier person come Monday morning. It will be good for your husband to read as well so he knows what you are feeling and why!!!

Changing Course, A Woman's Guide to Choosing the Cruising Lifestyle


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Old 13-05-2010, 20:37   #47
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Great pictures Mark, very encouraging.

I'll be you're the first person to ever "keep" their prowler.
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Old 14-05-2010, 06:58   #48
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I loved the shower picture. How long will Nicole let it stay there?

Does she know yet? I suspect you'll be sleeping on the deck for a few days when she finds out.....
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Old 14-05-2010, 07:09   #49
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Just go for it. Don't be afraid of the unknown. If it doesn't work out you can always go back to a normal life. But I suspect you'll end up loving it.

At the end of life, there are always more regrets about what we didn't try. Take to the sea and be happy!





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Originally Posted by FreeWilly View Post
My husbands dream has been to do an extended sailing trip. He sailed as a young man but has had limited experience since with larger boats. We were just on a trip in BVI and all went very well. Recently a number of life events triggered a decision on our part to get a boat (cat for safety/livability reasons) and spend a year sailing in the Caribbean. We have an 11year old daughter and the idea is to home school. We are selling our home to facilitate this and are intending to relocate on our return to a location I have wanted to move to. However, now that the house is listed, and the reality of what we are doing is setting in, I am having an uncharacteristic panic attack and I don't know if I really want to go through with this. I am nervous on boats and possibly slightly claustrophobic (another reason for the cat). I've started to worry about all that can go wrong and I'm afraid that I'm going to back out on my husbands dream. I feel terrible because he has never been happier..planning, reading everything imaginable, and learning about boats and their parts. We are both competent people and logically I know we can handle this, but I guess I just don't feel like adventuring anymore. I am close to 50 and my husband is in his 60's, so I think its now or never to get started with this and at the moment, I'm happy with never. Any advice, insight, comments???
Thanks!
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Old 14-05-2010, 07:31   #50
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Originally Posted by mintyspilot View Post
I loved the shower picture. How long will Nicole let it stay there?

Does she know yet?


Nope


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Old 15-05-2010, 00:46   #51
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Hello, Free Willy,
This is Ann writing, not Jim, and from the perspective of having become a cruising sailor following Jim's dream. Even if it is not your dream, now, if you want to go, you will find ways to make it work out. We've been out of the States cruising since March of '89. [We did make air trips home to see family and friends during this time, and come for medical treatment, as well.] I really thought after I read your OP that you were just going through the "heebie-jeebies". I do agree that fear is normal, with the advice to use knowledge as a weapon against anxiety, and I thought Mike's advice about involving your daughter was brilliant. The lady who suggested finding a way to make part of it your own is also exactly correct.

Just a few comments, though... Although a small dog surely would let you know when people approach your boat, in some countries your dog would have to be quarantined at your expense, and it can run in the thousands for just one cyclone season. Other factors in our choice to avoid on-board pets are that I know I would feel devastated if I were unable to retrieve a pet washed overboard, and there've been times when it likely would not have been possible.

There are people who will try to make you feel afraid. The poster who suggested that you consider what's going on with them offered you a valuable suggestion. For example, one grandmother of my acquaintance tried to stop her daughter from taking her grandsons offshore. Grandma was afraid, but didn't know anything, really, about cruising. I belong to the faction who consider it safer than land life, but also "safety" is often an illusion, anyway. Factors abound which are outside our control; hence a waste of time to worry about.

Cruising children are almost all really wonderful. They learn skills, develop self confidence, real interests, are less assailed by media brainwashing, and become able to deal with folks of varying age with aplomb and skill. I predict you all find the home schooling will be extremely valuable. One family we knew were out for 1 1/2 years, and soon everyone in the fleet knew school was from 8-noon, respected them, and playtime was later. Once you accept the challenge or problem, you handle it. Usually the kids that do return to the public education system are way ahead of their grade level both scholastically and for maturity level. I think it will be great for your daughter, if you decide to follow through.

Pirates. Most cruisers belong to radio nets, VHF, or via ham radio or marine single sideband. News of places where dinghies or people are molested passes at the speed of sound or light, depending on whether it's via radio or internet. The "grapevine" will warn you of places to not go. There are inexpensive motion sensors that can warn you of intruders on your boat, we had one on our first "Insatiable"; and real pirates are better armed than you'll ever be. Our solution has been to avoid places we're warned about, and together, all of you think up an emergency plan if you decide it's necessary.

Cruising as a lifestyle is like being a member of a small town, except it's afloat. In my experience, the great majority are generous and helpful, reciprocally supportive. If your Mom's alive, and worried about granddaughter, she might like to know that. It really is like a large, extended family.

Good luck with this one, and fair winds.

Ann Cate, US yacht "Insatiable II" lying NSW, Australia
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Old 15-05-2010, 05:47   #52
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"Just a few comments, though... Although a small dog surely would let you know when people approach your boat, in some countries your dog would have to be quarantined at your expense, and it can run in the thousands for just one cyclone season."

Pets - cats or dogs take to a sailing boat quite nicely if they are brought on board while they are young. Older animals - like some people - sometimes make the transition and sometimes do not. The quarantine mentioned is primarily only in New Zealand and Australia in the Pacific Ocean. Elsewhere in the world pets are generally welcome with the exception of an island here and there which only will not allow you to bring them ashore. So cats are never a problem, but dogs need to be trained to do their business on board the boat. Also you need to have complete histories and medical records. So in the vast majority of the cruising destinations pets on board are not a problem.
- - The Pacific ocean presents the biggest challenge with strict rules on some islands already mentioned but cruisers are able to deal with the challenges. However, the biggest problem is if you take a young cat or dog with you they become a full fledged member of the family and parting with them for any reason is heartbreaking. On the other hand they are an unlimited source of fun, humor and love. As a result a lot of cruisers concentrating on the Atlantic and Caribbean have pets on board, but you will find only a few cruising boats in the Pacific that have pets on board.
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Old 15-05-2010, 06:59   #53
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One thing that I feel Ann really hit upon was the fact that people (some who are close to you, and even some who aren't!) who disagree with what you're doing, will attempt to scare you out of it simply because you aren't conforming with societal norms. They may feel it's wrong, or perhaps they're jealous. Who knows.

Your are "odd", doing something unconventional. Selling all of your stuff to become a sea gypsy and taking a child with you is unconventional. Gasp! Some parents would even liken it to child endangerment and would cheerfully interfere with your plans if they could find a law against it.

Screw 'em. Don't let these people crash your party.
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Old 15-05-2010, 07:42   #54
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Screw 'em. Don't let these people crash your party.
Yes, thats very important.
We only told our friends 2 weeks before we left. Family we had only told a week or 2 prior to that.

Everyone was still in such shock that they never got around to telling us why we shouldn't!

Actually the friends one was totally kewl because we had a big dinner party and everyone got a lay at the door... (lae? oh, we haven't been to hawaii so I don't know how its spelled), a tropical cocktail and a big map to nominate where they want to come and visit us

Also agree with osirissail. We don't have a cat. We would love one (or 10) but we know it would not get back into Australia...

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Old 15-05-2010, 08:45   #55
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I think it is leis! I believe a lay might be colloquial for have sexual relations.

I definitely want to be invited to your next going away party!!
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Old 17-05-2010, 04:18   #56
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Elsewhere [other than Oz...] in the world pets are generally welcome with the exception of an island here and there which only will not allow you to bring them ashore
One of those islands is the UK. Mandatory 6 month quarantine unless you have a "pet passport" and the animal reaches the UK via an approved carrier.

Defra, UK - Animal health and welfare - Pet Travel Scheme - What you need to do to bring your pet into or back into the UK under the Pet Travel Scheme
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