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Old 04-11-2010, 22:26   #61
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Given that most "cruising couples" actgually comprise a man that has varying degress of sailing experience and in general a women who is tagging along " for her man". IN this case the cruise has to be planned around thw womens expectations until she gets the confidence and decides she up for it as an independant decision.

Hence that may mean pickinga crusiing area that can essentially be day sailed ( or day and night), staying in more marinas then you might like or afford. But the alternative is diaster. I cringe when I hear newbies talk about "ocean crossings etc".

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We aren't all tag-a-longs. My macho sailor wimped out the first time we saw mildly rough seas. Now I go it alone and he can go . . . . wherever.
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Old 04-11-2010, 23:32   #62
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We aren't all tag-a-longs. My macho sailor wimped out the first time we saw mildly rough seas. Now I go it alone and he can go . . . . wherever.
The kind of lady I would like to meet!

Fortunately there are a few more like you on here who you might have already found? Then unfortunately, there are heaps more of those macho types out there who have the potential of making life onboard a misery. I am just glad they don’t want me to sleep with them (well hopefully, but who knows?)
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Old 05-11-2010, 00:43   #63
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The kind of lady I would like to meet!

Fortunately there are a few more like you on here who you might have already found? Then unfortunately, there are heaps more of those macho types out there who have the potential of making life onboard a misery. I am just glad they don’t want me to sleep with them (well hopefully, but who knows?)
You never know. . . . . .
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Old 05-11-2010, 00:45   #64
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So what are your best tips for NOT quitting? What psychological forethought needs to be addressed if we are not to end up "quitting"? As we are not yet out there cruising full time, a bit of advice on the psychology of cruising would be great.

We plan to cruise for 5 years or so. If longer great, if we want to come home sooner, that's ok too. If we make it around, I suppose that would be neat, but again, if we don't make it, that's fine too. We're going for the journey, not the completion badge. However, it's one thing to consciously choose a new, different adventure, than to give up and head for the comforts of home. I hear the horror stories of the lady-half disembarking in a foreign port after a long passage, never to step aboard again or speak to her partner for ever after. I don't want to be that lady, nor do I wish Brodie to be the one running off into the night.

What mental reefs should we learn to avoid, and how does one recognize them coming?
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Old 05-11-2010, 03:08   #65
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...Go. Don't go. Go but only if you do do it in the style I am accustomed to. Get a hair cut and a job. We're all gonna die! You are gonna die. You might kill me in the process! If you have my skill level I'll condone your plan. Yes, no, yes, no, on and on, and on and on.....................
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Old 05-11-2010, 04:13   #66
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So what are your best tips for NOT quitting?

  • Know how to sail and if you will enjoy it before buying the boat.
  • Don't buy a boat thats falling apart - it will only continue to do so no matter what you do (unless you are a shipwright/mechanic)
  • Sail intensively on that boat before heading out
  • Go 'normal': Have a chartplotter, engine, toilets, galley, refrig etc - who wants to **** in a bucket then wash dishes in it?! True story!
  • Have enough money
  • Have money to have 'breaks' whether that be a trip home to see friends, or a good hot shower occasionally, marina for a night sometimes, or hotel room (with spa bath!) occasionally.
  • don't waste your money!
  • Don't listen to HF radio scheds - they promote fear
  • Go your own way, not Jimmy Cornells waypoints
  • Don't listen to cruisers advice 80% is bullshit (my advice is 90% bs)
  • Give women the boat they want.
  • Give women girl time with other women.
  • Give women money for girl crap like cosmetics, bling etc
  • Give women credit for their responsibility, their sailing, watch keeping
  • Never shorten sail because the wife is coming on watch! Thats insulting!
  • Always shorten sail early so sailing isnt terrifying
  • Let women drive the dink 50% of the time.
  • Treat women as an equal sailor not a head cleaner, but expect them to work as a sailor too.
  • Give women navigational responsabilites and don't complain when the boat is a bit off course.
  • Have money to buy a present for the other half, including birthdays and Christmas.
  • A cruising boat doesn't have to be 100% perfect - forget the worklist and live life.
  • Keep the romance alive by being romantic
  • Have pride in appearance: not a grease covered, shaggy headed, rag wearing, smelly cruiser like many.
  • Make the boat a home.


Remember cruising is not the 'be all, end all' passion of the world! When you're done with it other adventures just as exciting will come up

Thats just off the top of my head.....
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Old 05-11-2010, 05:04   #67
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so mark , 25 points and 90% of them are BS, The trick is which 2.5 points are not BS.

Dave
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Old 05-11-2010, 05:41   #68
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so mark , 25 points and 90% of them are BS, The trick is which 2.5 points are not BS.

Dave
being romantic
a grease covered, shaggy headed, rag wearing, smelly cruiser like many.
Make the boat a home.


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Old 05-11-2010, 06:06   #69
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so mark , 25 points and 90% of them are BS, The trick is which 2.5 points are not BS.

Dave
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Old 05-11-2010, 10:06   #70
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Old 05-11-2010, 10:36   #71
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Remember cruising is not the 'be all, end all' passion of the world! When you're done with it other adventures just as exciting will come up

Thats just off the top of my head.....
agwaadr vgsertuuu itserfff ... sorry had to get the greasy rag out of my mouth. Nice post Mark. Very well put.
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Old 05-11-2010, 11:07   #72
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  • Give women the boat they want.
  • Give women girl time with other women.
  • Give women money for girl crap like cosmetics, bling etc
  • Give women credit for their responsibility, their sailing, watch keeping
  • Never shorten sail because the wife is coming on watch! Thats insulting!
  • Let women drive the dink 50% of the time.
  • Treat women as an equal sailor not a head cleaner, but expect them to work as a sailor too.
  • Give women navigational responsabilites and don't complain when the boat is a bit off course.
  • Have money to buy a present for the other half, including birthdays and Christmas.
  • Keep the romance alive by being romantic
Mark, did you figure out these points all on your own or has Nicolle read you the riot act
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Old 05-11-2010, 11:46   #73
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I don't see why this post of mine is so criticised?

You are all quite on your own to do what you f@#%* like.
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Old 05-11-2010, 11:50   #74
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I appreciate it! We'll figure out the boat and the sailing part; it's how to not want to push the other overboard I'm most concerned with right now. Some great points to ponder.
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Old 05-11-2010, 11:51   #75
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No criticism here. I think your points are right on target. I'm going to make sure the captain reads them.

Seriously, some good things to remember.
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